(Watson assures Sherlock that she hasn't touched his wall of crazy)
Sherlock: The idea that Irene was murdered by a shadowy kingpin that no one's ever seen or heard of sounds crazy to me too, but there may be a pattern here, trail of bread crumbs that leads to a great criminal mind.
Watson: And how is Napoleon Bonaparte involved?
Sherlock: By my fifth night without sleep, I may have been reaching.
(Sherlock tells Watson about his plans to visit a site dedicated to conspiracy theories.)
Sherlock: My hobby is conspiracy theorists. I adore them, like one would barmy uncle or a pet that can't stop walking into walls. Have you ever heard anyone say that the CIA invented crack cocaine?
Watson: I have.
Sherlock: I started that.
(Sherlock inspects his friend's pet tortoise.)
Watson: Are you taking Clyde?
Sherlock: He will starve if we leave him here.
Watson: I didn't know you like tortoises.
Sherlock: I love them. They make an absolutely delicious soup stock.
(Sherlock decides to test a conspiracy theory involving national security)
Watson: Oh, it's that easy. You're just going to find five classified names.
Sherlock: Why not? It's my day off.
(Captain Gregson catches Sherlock an interrogation room.)
Captain Gregson: Lives are at stake every day here Holmes. And yet, we had a department and a city before you got here. You talk your way into that interrogation room again and I will have you arrested for trespassing.
(Watson's attempts to bring Sherlock and Captain Gregson back together lead to an uncomfortable conversation.)
Sherlock: I'm smarter than everyone I meet, Watson. (Watson rolls her eyes) I know it's bad form to say that, but in my case it's a fact. Allowances have to be made.
Sherlock: It's true I have wronged Captain Gregson it was the cost of revenge. I incurred it willingly. The larger question is, how does my suspension benefit the city? If the role of the public servant is to keep an eye on the greater good, then why keep me from my work? My work is the greater good.
(Watson comes home and see's Sherlock using Clyde.)
Watson: I'm pretty sure you shouldn't use Clyde as a paperweight.
Sherlock: I don't think he minds. You shouldn't refer to it by it's name. It'll just make it harder to enjoy the soup.
(Sherlock tricks Bell into answering his phone at a crime scene.)
Sherlock: I'm not coming there any longer. Don't wait for me.
Bell: We're not waiting for you! (To Gregson) It probably would have been easier to fire the guy if we ever actually paid him.
(Captain Gregson and Sherlock have an important talk in a pub.)
Captain Gregson: Who the hell are you?
Sherlock: I beg your pardon?
Captain Gregson: because obviously you're not the person I thought you were.
Sherlock: I... I don't know how to answer that question.
Captain Gregson: You don't let anyone into your life that is not constantly concerned with you. What kind of mood your in. Whether you're getting high or not. Whether you're going to work like an adult or throw a temper tantrum. You know what? Most of the time you're worth it, because you are special, damned if you don't know it, but you are.... Don't think for a minute that I'm ever going to forget that you were planning to murder someone on my watch. Don't think that I'm ever going to really trust you again.