Eli: I Googled "disaster" and "woman," had to wade through hundreds of sites of Sarah Palin and Brittany Spears.
Paul Rollins: You just gave that woman six additional hours of work without even a touch of guilt. That's very impressive.
Maggie: Don't you have a quadriplegic to sue, or an endangered species to take off the endangered species list?
Paul Rollins: Those sound fun, but I'm busying handling the Chaykin litigation.
Matt: I'm sure they know what marriage is, Taylor.
Taylor: It's about spending 12 hours a day together and wanting nothing more than to go home and spend the next 12 hour together. So marry me.
Steven: Is this part of the prenup process?
Cheryl: Do you hear that, Steven? That was a proposal. All this last hour has shown is that you don't love me enough to express it as well as a lawyer. A lawyer!.
Nathan: Well, it's a little, uh, technical, medically speaking, but I'll try and put it in terms that you can understand--brain good, personality bad.
Eli: No joking. Everything's all right?
Nathan: I was standing over the technician's shoulder the entire time. We looked at your MRI, we compared it to last month's scan, and nothing has changed. You're still a tool.
Nathan: Not every problem can be solved by suing somebody, Eli.
Eli: I got a law degree that says different.
Eli: No, no, no, lawyers can be very helpful when it comes to heart transplants. You hear the one about the guy that chose to get a 75-year-old lawyer's heart over a 18-year-old track star's?
Diane Rundlet: He wanted a heart that had never been used.
Eli: Yeah, you heard it.
Nathan: Yeah, yeah, all we do around here is tell her jokes. It's--you know, laughter really is the best medicine.
Eli: You get that list yet--every employee that's booked air travel in the next 24 hour?
Patti: No. I'm not going to go snooping in employees' personal business.
Eli: Are you kidding me? That's like a second career to you.
(as Jordan packs files)
Eli: What you doing?
Jordan: Well, I put my papers in this device here, and it enables me to transport them from the office to other venues.
Matt: What if Eli's right?
Taylor: You gotta be kidding me. You actually believe him?
Matt: "Believe" is a strong word.
Taylor: You're the last person to put stock in anything Eli's ever said. You're like the president of the "Eli's full of crap" club.
Nathan: You know, I owe you a big, fat "I-told-you so."
Eli: Yeah, I know.
Nathan: You could've wound up a vegetable, which, apart form kicking your IQ up a few points, wouldn't have done very good.
Eli: Ha ha.
Nathan: You've got this one to thank.
Eli: And I can't imagine the way she's going to hold that over my head.
Maggie: Oh, I've got a list.
Eli: Was this a test?
Jeremy Stone: Everything's a test. Life is a test. And you... you, my boy, you're passing with flying colors. I couldn't be more proud.