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Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Valentine's Day

While all the other kids at school are exchanging Valentine's Day cards, Chris receives a series of "I hate you" cards from the school bully, but love is in the air as he develops a "bus crush" on Tangee, a girl he regularly sees during his daily route. Later, Julius and Rochelle must deal with the unexpected romantic attention Drew and Tonya are getting.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x14
Production Number: 114
Airdate: Thursday February 09th, 2006

Guest Stars
Blake HightowerBlake Hightower
As James
Diamond Dawn CookDiamond Dawn Cook
As Beautiful Woman
Jacqueline MazarellaJacqueline Mazarella
As Mrs. Morello
Steve SeagrenSteve Seagren
As Judge
Travis FloryTravis Flory
As Joey Caruso
Vince MelocchiVince Melocchi
As Joy's Dad
Zee JamesZee James
As Adult Tonya
Anna PheilAnna Pheil
As Sexy Woman
Cameron BroomCameron Broom
As Hip Hop Dancer
Denise BoutteDenise Boutte
As Mrs. Johnson
J.D. HallJ.D. Hall
As Bus Driver
Raven GoodwinRaven Goodwin
As Tangee
Regan MetoyerRegan Metoyer
As 19-Year-Old Girl
Robert KariakinRobert Kariakin
As 30-Year-Old Greg
Episode Notes
Narrator: Valentine's Day makes some people think of candy and flowers, but it made me think of the gangland massacre in Chicago.

The infamous "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" happened on Valentine's Day 1929. Al Capone had seven of a rival gangster's associates lined up against a wall and shot. When the rival, Bugs Moran, first heard about the murders, he reportedly said, "Only Capone kills guys like that".

Lance Crouther, who wrote this episode is best known as Pootie Tang from the movie of the same name. He also created Wanda At Large for Fox.

Episode Quotes
Rochelle: Boys are becoming fathers even at age 12.
Narrator: And great grandfathers at 43.

(Reading from a card)
Chris: Roses are red, violets are blue, please go back to Africa, and take your mother with you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Adult Tonya: Daddy, this is Ronald, my fiancee.
Ronald: Nice to meet you, sir.
(Julius shoots at Ronald)
Adult Tonya: Momma, daddy shot my fiancee again.
Narrator: Hey, say what you want but that's effective birth control.

Julius: Rochelle, did you watch the news? Girls are having babies at 10.
Narrator: And grandbabies at 20.

Narrator: I didn't have any luck with girls when I was 13. Mostly I just had a bunch of crushes. They call it a crush because chances are if you open your mouth, you're gonna get crushed. They coulda call it "She don't like you, stupid!" but crush is just quicker.

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