Narrator: Valentine's Day makes some people think of candy and flowers, but it made me think of the gangland massacre in Chicago.
The infamous "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" happened on Valentine's Day 1929. Al Capone had seven of a rival gangster's associates lined up against a wall and shot. When the rival, Bugs Moran, first heard about the murders, he reportedly said, "Only Capone kills guys like that".
Lance Crouther, who wrote this episode is best known as Pootie Tang from the movie of the same name. He also created Wanda At Large for Fox.
Rochelle: Boys are becoming fathers even at age 12.
Narrator: And great grandfathers at 43.
(Reading from a card)
Chris: Roses are red, violets are blue, please go back to Africa, and take your mother with you. Happy Valentine's Day.
Adult Tonya: Daddy, this is Ronald, my fiancee.
Ronald: Nice to meet you, sir.
(Julius shoots at Ronald)
Adult Tonya: Momma, daddy shot my fiancee again.
Narrator: Hey, say what you want but that's effective birth control.
Julius: Rochelle, did you watch the news? Girls are having babies at 10.
Narrator: And grandbabies at 20.
Narrator: I didn't have any luck with girls when I was 13. Mostly I just had a bunch of crushes. They call it a crush because chances are if you open your mouth, you're gonna get crushed. They coulda call it "She don't like you, stupid!" but crush is just quicker.