Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other
Peter discovers that he has a vestigial twin, whom he names Chip, growing out of his neck. It’s not long before Peter resents the fact that everyone seems to love Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin.
However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.
When Quagmire meets a woman named Sonja who is as sexually insatiable as he is, he is thrilled to finally be with someone who won't judge him. However, things take a turn for the worse when Sonja abducts Quagmire, intending to make him her sex slave. It is up to Peter, Joe and Quagmire's dad to explore the seedy underbelly of Quahog to find and rescue Quagmire. Meanwhile, a love triangle emerges between Stewie, Brian and Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert.
Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed “Mental Mike.” When he sets the date for her end on Friday, Meg tries to get out of it.
Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point
The Griffins take a trip to Italy and are forced to deal with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys the family’s passports
When Stewie and Brian travel back to 17th century Jamestown, via Stewie’s time machine, they encounter too many close calls with altering the course of mankind. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but immediately regrets his decision when an unthinkable event happens and he is unable to go back in time
When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel.
However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter’s head
When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event.
Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas