Peter Griffin (a fat, beer-drinking toy assembly lineman) gets fired from his job at Happy-Go-Lucky Toys and secretly puts his family on welfare. Meanwhile, Stewie (the homocidal youngest son of the family) plots on killing his mother, Lois.
Peter teaches Meg to drive, which leads to Meg failing her driver's test...and things get worse when Peter knocks out the town's TV reception and pins the blame on his own daughter. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a weather-controlling machine so he can destroy broccoli plants.
Lois prepares for Stewie's first birthday, which Peter nearly ruins when he refuses to make reservations at Cheesy Charlie's and scrambles to set up a party at home. Meanwhile, Meg unwittingly makes friends with a girl who belongs to a cult.
Peter gets put under house arrest (after punching out a man who turns out to be a pregnant woman) and builds a bar in his basement, where Lois becomes a sensation as a lounge singer. Meanwhile, Stewie begins teething and builds a time machine so he can fast-forward through the pain.
Peter searches for a replacement pitcher for Happy-Go-Lucky Toys' softball team and finds one in his new neighbor, Joe Swanson, which he welcomes with open arms...until it's revealed that Joe is wheelchair-bound.
After Chris gets kicked out of the Youth Scouts, the Griffins head to the New York headquarters to reinstate his membership. The trip is derailed, however, when Peter needs to use the bathroom and the family stops at an Indian casino, where Lois loses the car in video poker.
To earn money for a new air conditioner, Peter enters Brian in a dog show, but Brian disqualifies himself after refusing to perform a demeaning stunt...and ends up fighting for his legal rights as an anthropomorphic dog after getting in trouble with the law.