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Family Guy
| 8 :02x01 - Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater (Sep/23/1999) | | When Lois' aunt unexpectedly dies, the Griffin's are surprised to learn that she left them her large mansion. As a surprise, Peter sells their current home in Quahog so that they can permanently move to the mansion, and pay to keep the staff. At first, the family is hesitant on this decision, but after a song from Peter they are bought. But soon, Peter realizes he doesn't fit in with the wealthy people around him, and asks Brian to help him become one of them. The change works perfectly, but a little too perfectly. Lois misses the old Peter who wasn't just another snobby rich guy, and Peter bids ten million dollars he doesn't have at an auction. | | Guest Stars: Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Alex Thomas as Various, Robin Leach as Himself, Gregory Jbara as Various, Bill Escudier as Various, Fairuza Balk as Connie DiMico, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Various | Director: Jeff Myers (1) Writer: Chris Sheridan | | | |
| 9 :02x02 - Holy Crap (Sep/30/1999) | | After Peter's super-religious, workaholic dad is forced to retire from his job at the mill, he moves in with the Griffin's. Peter thinks this is a perfect time to get to know his father better, and make him proud. However, nothing he does seems to interest his father who just wants to work. So Peter gets him a job at the Toy Factory, and after just one day is father is promoted. He is now working the entire staff to the bone, and Peter can't take it. In a final, desperate attempt to make him proud, Peter kidnaps his idol: the Pope. | | Guest Stars: David Zuckerman as Various, Olivia Hack as Various, Andrew Gormley as Various, Charles Durning as Francis, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Carlos Alazraqui as Mr. Weed, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Florence Stanley as Peter's Mom, Patrick Warburton as Various, Dwight Schultz as Various | Director: Neil Affleck Writer: Danny Smith (6) | | | |
| 10 :02x03 - DaBoom (Dec/26/1999) | | Peter is warned by a Giant Chicken that the world is going to end at midnight. So he traps his entire family in the basement, where they actually do survive a nuclear holocaust. In order to survive in the new world, the Griffin's travel to a Natick, where they believe there could be a twinky factory. When they get their, they realize they were correct, and start a new town called "New Quahog" with Peter as the mayor. However, after everyone realizes Peter is a lousy Mayor, they kick the Griffin's out of town. Meanwhile, on the way there, Stewie falls in some radioactive waste, which mutates him into an octopus creature. | | Guest Stars: Jack Perkins (2) as Himself, Will Sasso as Various, Victoria Principal as Pamela Ewing, Patrick Duffy (1) as Bobby Ewing, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Joey Slotnick as Various | Director: Bob Jacques Writer: Neil Goldman, Garrett Donovan | | | |
| 11 :02x04 - Brian in Love (Mar/07/2000) | | When mysterious urine stains begin appearing around the Griffin house, Brian blames Stewie. This makes Lois believe Stewie is ready to be potty-trained. Outraged at being falsely accused, Stewie refuses to be trained. After a mishap a the grocery store, it becomes aware that Brian is actually the carpet wetter, and Stewie has no trouble rubbing it in. Brian then goes to see his psychologist, who tells him that he is in love...with Lois. | | Guest Stars: Sam Waterston as Dr. Kaplan, D. D. Howard (1) as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Jack Dyer Writer: Gary Janetti | | | |
| 12 :02x05 - Love Thy Trophy (Mar/14/2000) | | Peter's idea to make the Quahog Harvest Day Parade's theme "Who's the Boss?" is accepted, and the neighborhood joins together to make the best float in the parade. However, when they win, everyones eyes are on the trophy. They finally decide to have to have it on top of the float which is planted in the center of the block. But, when the trophy disappears one morning the neighborhood literally goes to war. Meanwhile, in order to make more tips at the local diner so she can buy a "prodabag", Meg tells the customers that Stewie is her crack addicted baby whose father won't pay child support. The plan backfires when Stewie becomes addicted to pancakes and a child services lady comes to see how his home life is, and sees the neighborhood at war. They take him away, and the neighborhood must now set apart their differences to save him. | | Guest Stars: Debra Wilson (1) as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Jennifer Tilly as Bonnie, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Tara Strong as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Jack Dyer Writer: Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker (1) | | | |
| 13 :02x06 - Death Is a Bitch (Mar/21/2000) |  | When Lois finds a lump on Peter's breast, he heads to the doctors fearing the worst. He comes out clean, but the bill is huge. In order to avoid paying, Peter writes that he is dead. Death gets a copy of his form, and thinking he is really dead, comes to collect. Peter makes a run for it, and Death sprains his ankle chasing after him. The Griffin's take him in, hoping their kindness will persuade him not to take Peter. However, when Peter learns that since Death is hurt the rules of death no longer apply; he goes out jumping off buildings and shooting himself. The word quickly spreads, and Death tells Peter he'll let him live if he fills in for him until he recovers. In order to show the world the rules of death apply again, Death tells Peter he has to kill a popular group of kids, namely the stars of Dawson's Creek. While on the plane with them, Peter chickens out and accidentally kills the pilots sending the plane into the ground. Everyone inside comes out okay, and Death tells Peter that since the pilot's deaths made the news, everything is okay. He leaves the Griffins' with a promise to return soon. | | Guest Stars: Cara Newman as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Tara Strong as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Norm MacDonald (1) as Death [uncredited] | Director: Michael Dante DiMartino (1) Writer: Ricky Blitt | | | |
| 14 :02x07 - The King Is Dead (Mar/28/2000) | | After Lois inherits control over the Quahog players theater group, she decides to make her first production the play: "The King and I". Everything is going great until she gives Peter a pity part as the Producer to get him off her back, and he takes it too far, gaining complete control over the play, and turning the once masterpiece into a cyborg battle. Lois thinks that Peter will make a fool of himself when the play opens to the public, and that that will be her revenge on him, but the audience ends up loving it. Baffling Lois. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Warburton as Joe, Phil LaMarr (1) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Carlos Alazraqui as Mr. Weed, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Monte Young Writer: Craig Hoffman | | | |
| 15 :02x08 - I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar (Mar/28/2000) | | After Peter tells an inappropriate joke at work, a woman takes it as sexual harassment, and reports him. As punishment, Peter must spend a week at a woman's camp in order to get in touch with his feminine side. However, the process works a little too well, and Peter becomes very sensitive and girly. At first Lois loves the new sensitive and caring Peter, but after Peter tries to breast feed Stewie, Lois realizes he is way past sensitive, and begins to miss the old Peter. However, she can't seem to snap him out of it. | | Guest Stars: Candice Bergen as Gloria Ironbox, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Jennifer Tilly as Bonnie, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Various, Phil LaMarr (1) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Carlos Alazraqui as Mr. Weed, Faith Ford as Corky Sherwood | Director: Monte Young Writer: Chris Sheridan | | | |
| 16 :02x09 - If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin' (Apr/04/2000) | | When Peter's learns that his favorite show, Gumbel 2 Gumbel, has been canceled he schemes up a plot to trick 'The Make-A-Dream-Come-True' Foundation into making the network bring it back. He contacts them at says that his son Chris has the deadly disease 'tumorsyphillis-itis-osis', and that his last wish is for Gumbel 2 Gumbel to come back on the air. They grant his wish, but come back to check up on Chris, who has been "miraculously cured".The word of the Miracle spreads, and Peter becomes the "Miracle Healer" of Quahog, making God angry. Peter brushes it off at first, but when the Griffin's begin to experience mysterious plagues, Peter must find a way to make God happy before the final plague comes true. | | Guest Stars: Peter Roth as Various, Martin Mull as Mr. Harris, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Fred Tatasciore as Chevy Chase, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Swinton O. Scott, III Writer: Chris Sheridan | | | |
| 17 :02x10 - Running Mates (Apr/11/2000) | | With the schools best interest in mind, Lois runs for school board unopposed. However, when Peter discovers that Lois agree's with the firing of his favorite teacher, he jumps in the race. In order to win, Peter spreads around a dirty picture of her, and he begins to pull ahead in the race, eventually winning. Meanwhile, Chris gets busted for peeping in the girls locker room, so Peter gives him some dirty magazines to look at instead of the real thing. However, when Chris gets busted with the magazines at school, Peter's reputation is nearly ruined. In order to get out of it, James Carville suggests Peter blame it on someone else...namely Lois. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Bristow as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Dwight Schultz as Various, Lee Majors as Himself | Director: John Holmquist Writer: Neil Goldman, Garrett Donovan | | | |
| 18 :02x11 - A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks (Apr/18/2000) | | Chris paints an original painting for Peter for his birthday, and Peter uses it to cover a hole in the window in his car. When a real artist spots it, he offers Peter 1,000 dollars for it, and suggests the family come to New York where Chris could become a real artist. However, at the gallery managers request, Chris must never speak to his father again, which Peter doesn't take lightly. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes the new Calvin Klein baby underwear model. | | Guest Stars: Charles Kimbrough as Jim Dial, Dee Bradley Baker as Various, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Jennifer Tilly as Bonnie, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Joe Regalbuto as Frank Fontana, Faith Ford as Corky Sherwood, Candice Bergen as Murphy Brown | Director: Gavin Dell Writer: Craig Hoffman | | | |
| 19 :02x12 - Fifteen Minutes of Shame (Apr/25/2000) | | Meg sets her family up on a talk show after they embarrass her during a slumber party. However, their wacky antics are seen on live television, and a network executive thinks they would make great reality TV. He gets Peter to sign a contract, that will make their lives a reality TV show called "the Real Live Griffin's". After a few days Meg can't stand it anymore, and quits the show, moving in with the neighbors. She is replaced with a 'perky' blond girl, who steals the spotlight from the rest of the family, making them realize how dumb the whole situation really is. The entire family is re-cast, and forced to move into a motel. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Warburton as Joe, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Will Ferrell (1) as Fisherman, Lisa Wilhoit as Various, Jennifer Tilly as Bonnie, Tara Strong as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Jay Mohr as Trevor | Director: Scott Wood Writer: Steve Callaghan | | | |
| 20 :02x13 - Road to Rhode Island (May/30/2000) | | Brian offers to pick Stewie up from visiting the Pwedersmchidts in Palm Springs, but Brian gets drunk at the airport and they miss their flight home. During their car-stealing, train-hopping, hitch-hiking trip back to Rhode Island, they stop by Austin, Texas where Brian hopes to find his mother and deal with the fact that he was abandoned. However, at the farm, they find out that she died years ago and was stuffed; now being used as an end table. Brian steals her from the farm owner, in order to give her a proper burial. Now, they must find their way back home. Meanwhile, Lois makes Peter watch relationship communication videos which he begins to enjoy after they turn out to be pornography. And Chris bothers Meg with a stupid word guessing game. | | Guest Stars: Victoria Principal as Amanda Rebecca, Brian Doyle-Murray (1) as Salty, Wally Wingert as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various | Director: Dan Povenmire Writer: Gary Janetti | | | |
| 21 :02x14 - Let's Go to the Hop (Jun/06/2000) | | A plane smuggling in toads from Colombia crashes near Quahog, and toad-licking becomes the popular new drug of choice for the students of James Woods High. After Lois finds one in Megs pants pocket, Peter meets with the principal with the suggestion that he go under cover as a student in order to convince all the kids to stop licking toads. It works, and Peter ends up becoming one of the most popular kids in school. Meg gets Peter to go with her to the dance, hoping this will make her popular, but the popularity goes to Peter's head and he dumps Meg for Connie, the most popular girl at school. | | Guest Stars: Tom Dorfmeister as Various, Wayne Collins (1) as Various, Patrick Bristow as Various, Mary Kay Bergman as Various, Fairuza Balk as Various, Gregg Allman as Himself, Fred Tatasciore as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Joey Slotnick as Various | Director: Glen Hill Writer: Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker (1) | | | |
| 22 :02x15 - Dammit Janet (Jun/13/2000) | | Lois enroles Stewie in a day care program when she begins to think he is not spending enough time with kids his own age. At first Stewie hates the idea, but once in the day care he falls in love with a girl named Janet. Meanwhile, Lois takes up a job as a flight attendant in order to keep her busy. However, after a few days Lois realizes she hates the job, but Peter makes her stay secretly because he has been getting free flights to wherever he wants. They eventually end up on the same flight, and Lois realizes what Peter's been up to. To make matters worse, the flight gets hijacked. | | Guest Stars: Camryn Manheim as Various, Mo Collins as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Tara Strong as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Barker (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane, Haley Joel Osment as Various | Director: Bert Ring Writer: Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker (1) | | | |
| 23 :02x16 - There's Something About Paulie (Jun/27/2000) | | When Lois realizes that the family can't survive with just one car she drags Peter out to buy a second one, but he goes for quantity instead of quality and they end up with a piece of junk. He can't take it back, but when gets an offer from the mob to steal his crappy car so he can get insurance to pay for another one, he takes them up on it. However, soon after, the mob comes looking for a favor in return. The Don requests that Peter take his obnoxious nephew, Big Fat Paulie, out to the movies. But the movies isn't enough for Big Fat Paulie, and he ends up coming home with Peter for dinner. When Lois refuses to let Peter befriend him, he tells Big Fat Paulie, and taking it the wrong way he puts a mob hit on Lois. Before Peter can call off the hit, Paulie is killed, and Peter and Lois must have to go ask the Don to call off the hit as a favor on the day of his daughter's wedding. | | Guest Stars: Alan King (1) as Don, Brent Michael (1) as Various, Diane Robin as Various, Jerry Sroka as Various, Debra Wilson (1) as Various, Jon Cryer as Kevin, Michael Chiklis as Big Fat Paulie, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Kevin Michael Richardson (2) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Robert Costanzo (2) as Various, Haley Joel Osment as Various | Director: Monte Young Writer: Ricky Blitt | | | |
| 24 :02x17 - He's Too Sexy for His Fat (Jun/27/2000) | | When Chris wants to loose weight, Peter offers to help, however when working out doesn't seem to work, Cleveland suggests liposuction. Chris isn't into the idea, while Peter becomes addicted to it. Meanwhile, Stewie's plan to make Chris feel bad about his weight backfires, and he becomes incredibly fat himself. | | Guest Stars: Jay Mohr as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Nicole Sullivan as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Phil LaMarr (1) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Gary Cole as Various | Director: Glen Hill Writer: Chris Sheridan | | | |
| 25 :02x18 - E. Peterbus Unum (Jul/12/2000) | | When Peter discovers that their house is not part of Quahog, or even the United States, he forms his own country: Petoria. However when he feels that he is not being respected as a country, he invades Joe's pool. This worries the US, and they stage a war with Petoria, cutting the Griffin's off from heat, water, and electricity. Lois and the kids abandon Petoria, while Peter is stubborn and calls in support from other countries. | | Guest Stars: Shawn Pyfrom as Oliver, Wally Wingert as Various, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Phil LaMarr (1) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Chris Cox as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Johnny Brennan (1) as Various, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Rob Renzetti Writer: Garrett Donovan, Neil Goldman | | | |
| 26 :02x19 - The Story on Page One (Jul/18/2000) | | When Meg needs extracurricular activities to get into Brown, she joins the school paper. After an interview with Mayor West, she finds out he is wasting millions of the tax payers dollars on nonsense, and writes a moving article. However, Peter feels that the article is boring, and writes a fake one about Luke Perry being gay. But when Perry threatens to sue, Peter tries to get false evidence of him really being gay. | | Guest Stars: Mary Kay Bergman as Various, Wally Wingert as Various, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Nicole Sullivan as Various, Rachael MacFarlane as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Luke Perry (1) as Himself | Director: Gavin Dell Writer: Craig Hoffman | | | |
| 27 :02x20 - Wasted Talent (Jul/25/2000) | | When Peter and Brian win a trip to the brewery factory, he comes home drunk. Meanwhile, Lois is desperate to find a piano student who can play well enough to win the competition. A drunken Peter goes up to bat, and surprisingly is a brilliant pianist...when he's drunk. This puts Lois between a rock and a hard place, as she wants to win the competition, but making Peter get drunk frequently is unhealthy. Now she must pick between the two. | | Guest Stars: Julia Sweeney as Various, Jonathan Osser as Various, Michael McKean as Pawtucket Pat, Adam West as Mayor Adam West, Patrick Warburton as Joe, Nicole Sullivan as Various, Danny Smith (6) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Adam Carolla as Death, Carlos Alazraqui as Mr. Weed, Lori Alan (1) as Diane | Director: Bert Ring Writer: Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker (1) | | | |
| 28 :02x21 - Fore, Father (Aug/01/2000) | | When Peter realizes that Chris isn't the model son, he becomes a father figure for the hyped up Cleveland Jr., who is incredibly good at golf, making Chris jealous. Looking for a new father figure, Chris turns to Quagmire, who isn't exactly father of the year. Meanwhile, in order to get back at Stewie for destroying his 1st edition books, Brian tells Stewie that his injection at the doctors is actually a mind control method. | | Guest Stars: Patrick Warburton as Joe, Nicole Sullivan as Various, Phil LaMarr (1) as Various, Mike Henry (1) as Various, Gary Cole as Various, Wally Wingert as Various | Director: Scott Wood Writer: Bobby Bowman (2) | | | |
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