Part one of two. Brian's exceptional olfactory skills nets him a job as a drug-sniffing dog, but when the job turns Brian into a cocaine addict, Brian is sent to rehab (with Peter tagging along after missing out on a vacation).
When a hurricane hits Quahog, Horace sells the Drunken Clam, which is transformed into a British pub. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to teach a British girl with a heavy Cockney accent how to speak proper English.
Peter questions his masculinity when he finds out his son, Chris, has a bigger penis than he does. Meanwhile, Meg joins the flag girl squad in an attempt to be one of the popular kids.
Meg goes for an internship at Quahog News 5 in order to get closer to her crush, Tom Tucker, but is disgusted when pervy class nerd, Neil Goldman, lands the internship as well. Meanwhile, Stewie fights back against a bully who stole his tricycle.
When Chris witnesses a robbery, the FBI sends the Griffin's into the witness protection program in the South. Once there, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. Meanwhile, Peter pisses off the Southerners during a Civil War Reenactment, and Chris becomes greatly confused when Sam kisses him. Back at home, one of the FBI agents accidentally lets the Griffin's location out, and the robber comes looking for them.
In this Christmas episode, Lois struggles to keep her Yuletide cheer after Peter accidentally gives away the family's Christmas presents and Brian sets the kitchen on fire.
Meanwhile, Stewie makes a conscious choice to be good to impress Santa.
This episode was a special episode, divided up into 3 different stories apparently submitted by viewers. The story lines were different from any others in the series, and had no effect on it. The episode was hosted by Stewie and Brian.
Li'l Griffins: In the first Li'l Rascal styled segment, the boys are anti-girl, until they meet Lois who says that she likes a brave man. In order to prove to her who is the bravest, they try to stake it out overnight in a haunted house.
No Bones About It: Peter opens a bottle of beer and a Genie bursts out, telling him he has 3 wishes. In order to escape being beaten up, for his last wish, he wishes he had no bones. He escapes from the beating, but becomes a big strain on the family.
Super Griffins: When the Griffin's are hit with radioactive waste, the each gain a super power. At first the vow to use their powers only for good, but it quickly goes to their heads.
When Peter loses a big amount of money on an insurance scam, he decides he needs a Jewish man to control his money. Coincidentally, one happens to have car problems in front of his house. The Jewish man does great, and saves Peter a lot of money. This makes Peter decide that in order to be successful in life, Chris needs to become Jewish. Instead of studying hard, Peter takes Chris to Las Vegas for a Vegas Bar Mitzvah.