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Season 5

81 :05x01 - Stewie Loves Lois

Sep/10/2006
After Rupert is violently ripped to shreds by a stray dog, Lois sows him back together. Grateful for saving his beloved teddy, Stewie becomes obsessed with spending time with her. At first Lois loves all the loving attention, but after time all his love wears her out. Meanwhile, Peter files a lawsuit on the local doctor after he misinterprets his prostate exam.
Guest Stars: Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Anne-Michelle Seiler as Woman | Dave Boat as Rupert | Ellen Albertini Dow as Elderly Woman | John Viener as Various | Alec Sulkin as Various | Alex Breckenridge as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | Kevin Michael Richardson as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Phil LaMarr as Various
Director: Mike Kim (1)
Songs: Kenny Loggins -- I'm Free (Heaven Helps The Man)

82 :05x02 - Mother Tucker

Sep/17/2006
Peter's mother divorces his dad and begins dating Quahog anchorman Tom Tucker, who becomes Peter's new father figure. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own radio show and Stewie can't help but stir things up.
Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Tom Tucker | Joe Lomonaco as Weenie | Gore Vidal as Himself | Phyllis Diller as Thelma Griffin
Director: James Purdum
Writer: Tom Devanney
Songs: June Christy -- Give Me The Simple Life, Starship -- Nothing's Gonna Stop us Now

83 :05x03 - Hell Comes to Quahog

Sep/24/2006
Everyone is uncomfortable when a heat wave strikes Quahog. To make matters worse, a big box store (a - la Wal-Mart) sets up a new division in Quahog, which runs every other store out of business. Including the brewery. At first, Peter rallies up a gang to go against the the corporation, but once he enters inside the air-conditioned heaven he ends up getting a job there with Meg as his boss. Meanwhile, a car salesman talks Peter into buying a tank (yes, a tank) instead of car for Meg, which Brian and Stewie use to their advantage to take the big corporation down.
Guest Stars: Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | Phil LaMarr as Ollie Williams | Rachael MacFarlane as Fat Chick | Dave Boat as Ben Stiller | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Carrie Fisher as Angela
Director: Dan Povenmire
Songs: Walter Murphy -- A Fifth of Beethoven, Lisa Loeb -- Stay

84 :05x04 - Saving Private Brian

Nov/05/2006
When Chris is asked to join the military, Brian is outraged, and heads down to the recruiting office to speak his mind. Once there, Stewie is swindled into signing him and Brian into the military. They are shipped to Iraq, where they desperately try to get honorably discharged in any way possible. Meanwhile, back in Quahog, Chris joins a Goth band.
Guest Stars: John Viener as Various | Gary Cole as Principal Shepherd | Phil LaMarr as Various | Louis Gossett, Jr. as Sergeant Angryman | Macaulay Culkin as Joey
Songs: Elmer Bernstein -- The Theme Song From "Stripes"

85 :05x05 - Whistle While Your Wife Works

Nov/12/2006
When Peter gets injured on the job his boss finds out he's been falling behind; Lois goes down there to help him speed things up. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to get Brian to dump his new beautiful but not so intelligent girlfriend.
Guest Stars: Johnny Brennan (1) as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Drew Barrymore as Jillian | Carrie Fisher as Angela
Director: Greg Colton

86 :05x06 - Prick Up Your Ears

Nov/19/2006
When Lois starts teaching sex-ed at Chris' school, parents become upset with her uncomfortable honesty. She is replaced with a conservative christian who has all of the condoms removed from James Woods High, but the kids find an interesting loophole. Meanwhile, Stewie sets up a trap to destroy the Tooth Fairy after he loses his first tooth.
Guest Stars: David Cross as Jerry Kirkwood | Gary Cole as Various | Drew Barrymore as Jillian | John Viener as Various
Director: James Purdum

87 :05x07 - Chick Cancer

Nov/26/2006
Stewie reunites with his old flame Olivia and the two decide to get married. However, their relationship soon begins to dull out. Meanwhile, after Lois introduces Peter to "chick flicks" he decides to make his own.
Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various | Stacey Scowley as Various | Dave Boat as Richard Gere | Lizzy Caplan as Various | Jeff Bergman as Various | Rachael MacFarlane as Olivia | John Viener as Various | Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Drew Barrymore as Jillian | Alex Breckenridge as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | Johnny Brennan (1) as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various
Songs: Rush -- Tom Sawyer

88 :05x08 - Barely Legal

Dec/17/2006
Meg is having problems finding a date for her prom, and she needs some help, even though he is dating his girlfriend Jillian, he decides to go with Meg to the prom. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to get the night over, and ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her "Boyfriend" (even though he is of a different species) and begins to spend every moment with him. In the mean time, Peter, Quagmire and Cleaveland decide to join the Police Force.
Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various | John Viener as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Lisa Wilhoit as Beth and Connie | Barclay Deveau as Various | Chris Sheridan as Various | Tamera Mowry as Esther | Garrett Morris as Himself | Phil LaMarr as Various | Alex Breckenridge as Various | Drew Barrymore as Jillian | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | Kerrigan Mahan as Various | Natasha Melnick as Various
Director: Zac Moncrief
Songs: Richard Marx -- Hold on to the Nights, Annie Lennox -- Why

89 :05x09 - Road to Rupert

Jan/28/2007
When Brian accidentally sells Rupert at a garage sale him and Stewie go on a quest to find him. Meanwhile, Peter loses his drivers license and Meg has to drive him around. Surprisingly, they bond.
Guest Stars: Ted McGinley as Helicopter Rental Agent | Rob Lowe as Stanford | George Wendt as Norm Peterson | Bill Fagerbakke as Patrick Star | Tom Kenny as Spongebob Squarepants | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Adam West as Mayor Adam West
Director: Dan Povenmire
Songs: Herman's Hermits -- I'm Into Something Good

90 :05x10 - Peter's Two Dads

Feb/11/2007
When Peter accidentally kills his father it jogs his memory that Francis once told Peter he wasn't his real father. After Thelma tells him that his real father actually lives in Ireland Peter and Brian travel there to find him. Meanwhile, after Lois hits Stewie he discovers that he loves being spanked, and does everything possible in order to get spanked again.
Guest Stars: Seth MacFarlane as Mickey McFinnigan | Charles Durning as Francis Griffin | Phyllis Diller as Thelma

91 :05x11 - The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Feb/18/2007
When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but the kid is so annoying that Peter ends up beating him up. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian accidentally leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.

Source: FOX
Guest Stars: Jeff Bergman as Various | Mary Kay Bergman as Various | Chris Sheridan as Various | Keir Gilchrist as Kyle | John Viener as Various | Beth Littleford as Various | Kevin Michael Richardson as Fozzy | Alec Sulkin as Various | Chris Cox as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Mike Barker (1) as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson
Director: Julius Wu
Songs: The Dream Academy -- Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want

92 :05x12 - Airport '07

Mar/04/2007
Peter takes Quagmire to the airport for work and messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. Quagmire cant find another gig, so Peter and Cleveland devise a plan to help him get his old job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day

Source: thefutoncritic.com
Guest Stars: Barclay Deveau as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | John Viener as Various | Rachael MacFarlane as Airport Employee | Alec Sulkin as Various | Phil LaMarr as Ollie Williams | Mark Hentemann as Various | Ralph Garman as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Hugh M. Hefner as Himself | Adam West as Mayor Adam West
Director: John Holmquist
Writer: Tom Devanney
Songs: David Rose -- Closing Theme from Little House on the Prarie, Elmer Bernstein -- Theme Music from Airplane, Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens -- Theme song from Top Gun

93 :05x13 - Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey

Mar/11/2007
After Peter hurts himself trying to fix a flat tire on former president Bill Clinton's limousine, an appreciative Clinton sets out to show the depressed Peter a good time. Then Clinton has some fun with Lois as well. Meanwhile, Stewie toilet trains Brian.
Guest Stars: Conway Twitty as Himself (Archive Footage) | Roy Scheider as Himself | Alec Sulkin as Starbucks Guy | Barclay Deveau as Various | John Viener as Various | Wally Wingert as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Adam West as Mayor Adam West
Director: Dominic Polcino
Songs: Conway Twitty -- You've Never Been This Far Before, Conway Twitty -- Your Love Had Taken Me That High, (Unknown artist) -- Night Court theme song

94 :05x14 - No Meals On Wheels

Mar/25/2007
After a historical coin is found under the Griffin's carpet, Peter and Lois start a family restaurant, which soon turns into a favorite place for the paraplegic community of Quahog. But Peter turns against them.
Guest Stars: Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Arnold McCuller as Various | Keith Ferguson as Various | Steve Callaghan as Various | Barclay Deveau as Various | Chris Cox as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Johnny Brennan (1) as Various | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | John Viener as Various | Alec Sulkin as Various | Chris Sheridan as Various | Patrick Stewart as Himself
Director: Greg Colton
Writer: Mike Henry
Songs: Elton John -- I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

95 :05x15 - Boys Do Cry

Apr/29/2007
The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he's possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.


Source: FOX
Guest Stars: Alex Breckenridge as Various | Bill Engvall as Duke Dillon | Ralph Garman as Various | Mark Hentemann as Various | Camilla Stull as Baby Girl | Kirker Butler as George W. Bush | Adam West as Mayor Adam West | Alec Sulkin as Announcer #2 | Gilbert Gottfried as Horse | Drew Barrymore as Jillian | John Viener as Priest | Chris Cox as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons
Director: Brian Iles
Songs: June Pointer -- Little Boy Sweet, Rossini -- William Tell Overature

96 :05x16 - No Chris Left Behind

May/06/2007
When Chris gets expelled from school, the family enrolls him in a snooty boarding school Mr. Pewterschmidt attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter, but you'll never guess how it all ends.

Source: FOX
Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Construction Worker | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Gary Cole as Various | John Viener as Various | Josh Radnor as Ted Mosby | Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson

97 :05x17 - It Takes A Village Idiot, And I Married One

May/13/2007
When Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, she isn't the front-runner until she 'dumbs down' her political views. Once in office, she's corrupted by the power and starts accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive trinkets. Meanwhile, Peter's enjoying being the "first lady" and all of the perks that go along with it.

Source: FOX
Guest Stars: Carrie Fisher as Angela | Phil LaMarr as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | Keith Olbermann as Bob Grossbeard | Fred Tatasciore as Various | John Viener as Various | Lori Alan as Diane Simmons | Johnny Brennan (1) as Various | Danny Smith (1) as Various | Gary Cole as Various | Don Most as Himself | Adam West as Mayor Adam West
Director: Zac Moncrief

98 :05x18 - Meet the Quagmires

May/20/2007
Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire.


Source: Fox
Guest Stars: Alec Sulkin as Various | Will Sasso as Various | Chris Cox as Various | Johnny Brennan (1) as Various | Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson | John Viener as Various | Adam Carolla as Death | Luke Adams (3) as Singer (“Earth Angel” Performer)
Songs: Harold Faltermeyer -- Axel F aka Beverly Hills Cop Theme, Kenny Loggins -- Mr. Night
Warning: Family Guy guide may contain spoilers
Classification: Animation
Genre: Adult Cartoons | Comedy
Status: Returning Series
Network: FOX ( USA)
Airs: Sundays at 09:00 pm
Runtime: 30 Minutes
Premiere: January 31, 1999
Episode Order: 21
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KYLEd (Challenge)

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