Peter Griffin (a fat, beer-drinking toy assembly lineman) gets fired from his job at Happy-Go-Lucky Toys and secretly puts his family on welfare. Meanwhile, Stewie (the homocidal youngest son of the family) plots on killing his mother, Lois.
Peter teaches Meg to drive, which leads to Meg failing her driver's test...and things get worse when Peter knocks out the town's TV reception and pins the blame on his own daughter. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a weather-controlling machine so he can destroy broccoli plants.
Lois prepares for Stewie's first birthday, which Peter nearly ruins when he refuses to make reservations at Cheesy Charlie's and scrambles to set up a party at home. Meanwhile, Meg unwittingly makes friends with a girl who belongs to a cult.
Peter gets put under house arrest (after punching out a man who turns out to be a pregnant woman) and builds a bar in his basement, where Lois becomes a sensation as a lounge singer. Meanwhile, Stewie begins teething and builds a time machine so he can fast-forward through the pain.
Peter searches for a replacement pitcher for Happy-Go-Lucky Toys' softball team and finds one in his new neighbor, Joe Swanson, which he welcomes with open arms...until it's revealed that Joe is wheelchair-bound.
After Chris gets kicked out of the Youth Scouts, the Griffins head to the New York headquarters to reinstate his membership. The trip is derailed, however, when Peter needs to use the bathroom and the family stops at an Indian casino, where Lois loses the car in video poker.
To earn money for a new air conditioner, Peter enters Brian in a dog show, but Brian disqualifies himself after refusing to perform a demeaning stunt...and ends up fighting for his legal rights as an anthropomorphic dog after getting in trouble with the law.
When Lois's Aunt Marguerite suddenly dies, Lois is surprised to learn that she stands to inherit Cherrywood Manor, Lois's summer home back when she lived with her rich, snobby parents.
Songs: Contours -- Do You Love Me
After Peter's devout Catholic, workaholic dad is forced to retire from his job at the mill, he moves in with the Griffins and vexes them all with his Bible-thumping ways (particularly Lois, who is Protestant).
Peter freaks out when a man in a chicken suit warns him about the end of the world coming due to the Y2K computer virus and ropes his family into staying with him in the basement on New Years' Eve.
When mysterious urine stains begin appearing around the Griffin house, Stewie is blamed and forced into being potty-trained. But when Brian has an accident at the supermarket, he is sent to therapy to find out why he keeps wetting himself.
Songs: Air Supply -- I'm All Out Of Love
Peter fights with his neighbors, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland, after winning a trophy for a parade float. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job as a diner waitress to earn money for a Prada bag by telling the boss that she's a single mother with a crack-addicted baby (Stewie).
During a night of lovemaking, Peter finds a breast lump...on his own chest and fears it may be cancer. After days of worrying, Peter discovers that the lump isn't cancerous, but his medical bill is huge. To get out of paying it, Peter writes down that he's dead, prompting a visit from The Grim Reaper, who ends up incapacitated after breaking his ankle.
Songs: Paula Cole -- I Don't Want to Wait
After Lois inherits control over the Quahog players theater group, she decides to direct her first play, "The King and I", of which Peter inadvertently takes control.
Peter gets in trouble for telling a sexist joke at work and is forced to go on a women's retreat in order to be more sensitive to the opposite sex (and to keep his job at Happy-Go-Lucky Toys), but the therapy works too well as Peter begins acting too much like a woman.
Songs: Singer: Ray Charles Music: Joe Raposo -- “Three's Company” theme
When Peter learns that his favorite TV program, a cop drama called Gumbel 2 Gumbel, has been cancelled, Peter lies to a charity service, stating that his teenaged son, Chris, is dying and that his final wish is to have Gumbel 2 Gumbel put back on the air.
With the school's best interest in mind, Lois runs for school board unopposed. However, when Peter discovers that Lois agrees with the firing of his favorite former teacher, he jumps in the race and uses dirty tactics (and a dirty picture of his wife) to win the election.
When an art dealer discovers Chris's painting for Peter, The Griffins head to New York, where the art dealer attempts to change Chris into the art world's next big thing.
Meg sets her family up on a talk show after they embarrass her during a slumber party. However, when their wacky antics are seen on live television, a network executive thinks the Griffin family would make a great subject for a reality TV show.
Brian offers to pick Stewie up from visiting Lois's parents in Palm Springs, but Brian gets drunk at the airport and they miss their flight home. Meanwhile, Lois orders a relationship-building video, which Peter becomes addicted to when he discovers its secret pornographic content.
When toad-licking becomes the popular new drug of choice for the students of James Woods High, Peter goes undercover as a high schooler to stop it--but ends up dating popular girl, Connie D'Amico.
Songs: Simple Minds -- Don't You Forget About Me, Billy Ocean -- Get Out of My Dream, Get Into My Car
Lois enrolls Stewie in a daycare center when she worries about his social skills, where Stewie falls for a girl named Janet.
Meanwhile, Lois gets a job as an airline stewardess to combat her boredom at home, but Peter ends up taking advantage of the situation after Quagmire tells him that family members of stewardesses can travel on airplanes for free.
After ignoring Lois' advice, Peter gets tangled with the mob after they solve his car problem. The time comes for Peter to return the favor and the Don asks Peter take his obnoxious nephew, Big Fat Paulie to the movies.
Peter accidently puts a hit out on Lois.
Chris becomes self-conscious about his weight, so Peter helps him exercise. When the exercise doesn't work, Peter opts for Chris to get liposuction and ends up getting liposuction himself.
While fighting with City Hall over the right to dig in his own yard, Peter discovers that his house is not shown on the map of Quahog. Using his interesting loophole, Peter secedes his house and family from the United States and creates his own country.
Meg joins the newspaper team to boost her extracurricular activities so she can get into Brown. She writes an article about Mayor West wasting taxpayer money on an inane project, but Peter replaces Meg's newsworthy article with one that claims that Luke Perry (from the original Beverly Hills, 90210 cast) is a homosexual. Meanwhile, Stewie fits Chris with a mind-control helmet so he can force him to do his bidding.
Peter drinks himself stupid in order to find a golden ticket to the Pawtucket Patriot Brewery.
Meanwhile, Lois desperately searches for a excellent piano player for an upcoming competition...and finds one in Peter, who can only play like a pro when he's drunk.
When Peter realizes that Chris has no ambition, he sets his sights on being a father figure to Cleveland's hyperactive son, Cleveland, Jr. Meanwhile, Stewie gets a vaccination at the doctor's office, and thinks it's a mind-control serum when he begins to fall ill.
Part one of two. Brian's exceptional olfactory skills nets him a job as a drug-sniffing dog, but when the job turns Brian into a cocaine addict, Brian is sent to rehab (with Peter tagging along after missing out on a vacation).
Conclusion. Following the events in "The Thin White Line," Brian decides to leave home and become a Hollywood writer. Meanwhile, Lois signs Stewie up to appear on "Kids Say the Darndest Things".
When a cigarette company takes over Happy-Go-Lucky-Toy Factory, Peter is made company president and gets sent to Washington, D.C. to convince Congress that the tobacco companies are not bent on selling cigarettes to children.
When a hurricane hits Quahog, Horace sells the Drunken Clam, which is transformed into a British pub. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to teach a British girl with a heavy Cockney accent how to speak proper English.
Peter questions his masculinity when he finds out his son, Chris, has a bigger penis than he does. Meanwhile, Meg joins the flag girl squad in an attempt to be one of the popular kids.
On their wedding anniversary, Peter keeps Lois distracted with a scavenger hunt while he plays golf, but a lightning storm kills Peter and Death returns to show Peter how much Lois means to him.
Songs: Peter Frampton -- Baby I Love Your Way
Lois takes martial arts to fight back against the New Yorkers who have overrun Quahog, but Lois worries that her violent antics may have a bad influence on her family.
Meg goes for an internship at Quahog News 5 in order to get closer to her crush, Tom Tucker, but is disgusted when pervy class nerd, Neil Goldman, lands the internship as well. Meanwhile, Stewie fights back against a bully who stole his tricycle.
Peter, once again, finds himself out of work when his boss, Mr. Weed, dies, and the toy factory gets demolished in order to make a disease control center. After unsuccessfully trying to hold down a series of jobs (including prostituting himself), Peter becomes a Renaissance fair knight, who must fight his idol, The Black Knight.
Now overweight and still unemployed, Peter chooses Fishing as his new career. But when the pickings are slim, Peter puts his house in debt to buy a boat he can use to hunt Daggermouth, a famous fish which would earn him a lot of cash. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg to spring break and teaches her how to have a good time, a little too well.
When Peter and Lois help Lois's sister, Carol, have a baby, Peter and Lois decide to have another child, which doesn't sit well with Stewie.
When Chris witnesses a robbery, the FBI sends the Griffin's into the witness protection program in the South. Once there, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. Meanwhile, Peter pisses off the Southerners during a Civil War Reenactment, and Chris becomes greatly confused when Sam kisses him. Back at home, one of the FBI agents accidentally lets the Griffin's location out, and the robber comes looking for them.
Peter finally begins to impress Carter, and the two become friends after Peter gives Carter a tip on beating Ted Turner in poker, but the friendship is shattered when a horny Brian has sex with Carter's favorite race dog, Sea Breeze.
After Chris starts talking “street”, Peter decides to teach him about the Griffin ancestry.
He finds out he had a black ancestor named Nate Griffin who was owned by the Pewterschmidt family.
Meanwhile, Stewie goes undercover as a cheerleader.
Peter helps Joe raise his spirits after he fails to capture a crook in a Jimmy Carter mask by training him for the Special Olympics.
Meanwhile, Meg, Chris, and Stewie find a money clip containing $26.00 and fight over who gets to keep it.
In this Christmas episode, Lois struggles to keep her Yuletide cheer after Peter accidentally gives away the family's Christmas presents and Brian sets the kitchen on fire.
Meanwhile, Stewie makes a conscious choice to be good to impress Santa.
When Brian gets busted for a DUI, he is sentenced to care for a bitter, old, reclusive woman.
Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard, and ends up housing a family of baby birds.
Peter and Lois find it hard to understand a family of nudists they meet, and forbid Meg to see their son who actually likes her. Meanwhile, Stewie enrolls in an acting school, and must team up with his enemy Olivia in order to stay.
Out of fear of Peter's jealousy, Lois sneaks around to meet with an old boyfriend.
When Peter sees her with out w/ the man, the truth comes out, and Lois suggests they enter marriage counseling.
The counselor suggests the spend some time apart, and date other people.
Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get accidentally super glued together at the hand, and must remain that way for a week.
Believing he would have a better life, Stewie runs off to “Jolly Farms”, a British made children's television show.
Peter and Lois travel to KISS-Stock.
This episode was a special episode, divided up into 3 different stories apparently submitted by viewers. The story lines were different from any others in the series, and had no effect on it. The episode was hosted by Stewie and Brian.
Li'l Griffins: In the first Li'l Rascal styled segment, the boys are anti-girl, until they meet Lois who says that she likes a brave man. In order to prove to her who is the bravest, they try to stake it out overnight in a haunted house.
No Bones About It: Peter opens a bottle of beer and a Genie bursts out, telling him he has 3 wishes. In order to escape being beaten up, for his last wish, he wishes he had no bones. He escapes from the beating, but becomes a big strain on the family.
Super Griffins: When the Griffin's are hit with radioactive waste, the each gain a super power. At first the vow to use their powers only for good, but it quickly goes to their heads.
When Peter loses a big amount of money on an insurance scam, he decides he needs a Jewish man to control his money. Coincidentally, one happens to have car problems in front of his house. The Jewish man does great, and saves Peter a lot of money. This makes Peter decide that in order to be successful in life, Chris needs to become Jewish. Instead of studying hard, Peter takes Chris to Las Vegas for a Vegas Bar Mitzvah.
When Peter crashes the car on the way to their second honeymoon, he is determined to make it up to Lois. He ends up posing as Mel Gibson to use his private room at a new hotel, and once there they discover a secret upcoming movie: "The Passion of Christ 2". In order to save the world from viewing another Passion movie, Peter steals the film. Meanwhile, back at home, Stewie and Brian pose as parents. And Chris gets falsely accused for drinking at a school dance.
After Chris' teacher quits, Brian fills in as his new teacher. All is well at first, until he is moved down to the intermediate class where the troubled kids wear him down to his last nerve. Meanwhile, Chris crushes on his new, hot, teacher. And she tells him that in order to be with her, he has to kill her husband.
After Mort bowls a perfect game, and Quagmire earns a key to the city after saving a young lady, Peter begins to feel that he has not accomplished much in his life. To make amend for this, he decides to set the record for most nickels eaten. However, one to many nickels leaves him blind.
When Meg gets turned down by yet another guy, she begins to feel sorry for herself. In order to cheer her up, Lois takes her to the mall for a makeover. Meanwhile, Peter puts a band together consisting of him, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire. They aren't very successful, until Meg with her shows up with her new look.
-- Don't Stop Believing
When Peter and Brian walk in on Loretta and Quagmire, they feel they owe it to Cleveland to tell him. When Cleveland confronts Loretta about it, she actually kicks him out! Although, Cleveland doesn't seem phased by any of this. But, with a little motivation from Peter, Cleveland becomes furious...and goes to kill Quagmire.
After Peter wins a game of Trivial Pursuit, he is convinced he is a genius. Brian tries to bring him down to earth by telling him to take the MacArthur Genius test. Not only does the test prove he's not a genius, but it turns out he is mentally challenged. He has a good time taking advantage of this, until he puts Lois in the hospital and the kids are taken from him.
Songs: Pat Benetar -- The Warrior
In order to get Cleveland "back on the prowl", the gang takes him to "the Bachelorette" screening auditions. Thanks to Peter, Cleveland doesn't get on the show, but Brian and Quagmire do. Although Brian is at first precautios about it being a T.V. show, he eventually falls for the girl (Brooke), and ends up in the final 2 with Quagmire. Things start to go wrong when the final 2 have to bring Brooke to dinner with their families. Meanwhile, Chris is controlled by an evil pimple.
When Peter over-runs his tab at Goldmans Pharmacy, he signs Meg over to Mort Goldman so his son Neil can finally have Meg. Meg of course rejects, but it turns out Neil has already gotten over Meg and found a new girlfriend. After a while Meg gets jealous and steals Neil "back". But after a while Meg realises she never really liked Neil, and now she must find a way out of the contract. Meanwhile, Stewie gets a new "hot" babysitter who he tries to impress. But things go wrong when her boyfriend shows up.
When Lois feels her life lacks excitement, she begins to steal in order to bring some of it back. However, she takes her kleptomania a little too far, and ends up in jail. Back at home, everything begins to fall apart, so the family decides to break Lois out of jail. They make the escape, and start a new life in "Asian Town". However, it is not too long before they are found.
Songs: Henry Mancini (Composer) -- Hong Kong Fireworks
When her old room brings back old memories, Lois begins to get fed up with the fact that her father never let her take chances. So she decides to relive her old dream of becoming a model. Success comes easy...especially with the over use of dieting pills. All of this brings a new look and attitude, neither of which are healthy. Peter realizes that he will need to team up with Mr. Pewedersmhidt to snap Lois out of it.
In order to impress his new, black, girlfriend, Brian suggests that the school board should rename James Woods High School in honor to Martin Luther King Jr.. In order to stop this, Peter flys out James Woods, and they end up becoming great friends. Brian, upset that Peter ruined his plans, refuses to talk to Peter. And Peter, upset that Brian cares more about his new girlfriend than him, refuses to talk to Brian.
Peter and the gang travel to a dangerous area in order to catch more fish, and a giant tsunami destroys their boat. The gang is stranded for months on an island, until a cruise ship eventually spots them. Back at home, things have changed. Lois has gotten remarried...to Brian.
When Chris has trouble getting adjusted to life as a high school freshman, he runs off and joins the Peace Corps, who sends him far away to and island filled with helpless natives. He quickly adjusts, and ends up getting married! Meanwhile, back at home, Peter gets demoted at his new job at the brewery after getting drunk on the job.
Songs: Alice Cooper -- No More Mister Nice Guy
After a controversial mishap occurs on TV, the FCC decides to step in and take charge by censoring ANYTHING remotely "unappropriate". This ticks Peter off to the highest extent, so he creates his own TV broadcasting station. When things get out of hand, Lois betrays Peter and calls the FCC who come and begin to censor real life! Soon the whole family is sick of them, now how do they get rid of them?
When Brian loses the job of his dreams because he never finished college, he decides to go back. Stewie tags along. As Brian struggles to pass his classes, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, back at home, the gang takes winning the A-Team costume contest a little too far.
When Stewie realizes he has been wasting his time, and losing his main objective to kill Lois, he once again begins to scheme up plots. His preschool teacher shows Lois drawings he made of him killing her, but the teacher and Lois don't notice. All they see is that Peter isn't in any of them. So Peter and Stewie begin spending time together, but nothing is bringing them closer. Until Peter realizes that Stewie enjoys seeing Lois in pain. Stewie and Peter grow very close because of this interest and things get out of hand. When Lois punishes Stewie and Peter does nothing about it, Stewie turns on Peter. In order to make up, Peter takes Stewie to Disney World, where things get crazy. Meanwhile, In order to pay off a broken window, Chris begins to spend more time with Herbert (the creepy old guy). Only hilarity can come from this.
A physical confirms what Peter and Lois have been fearing all along: Peter is too fat. Instead of trying to get skinny, Peter creates the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, after Lois finds an old picture, she discovers she has a long-lost brother, Patrick. It turns out that Patrick is in a nut house, but Lois gets him out. However, Patrick's hatred of fat people makes him a suspect when a bunch a fat men turn up dead.
When Grandpa Griffin comes for a visit, he, as usual, tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. This causes Peter to search for a new religion, his own religion. Of course, he turns to his idol: the Fonz, and establishes a Church of the Fonz, which proves to be a bigger success then they could ever have imagined. Meanwhile, a mishap puts Stewie living in a bubble.
After a near-death experience, Brian takes a new lease on life. He finds his niche in singing, and lands a nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr.. But he begins to take his new lifestyle a little too far. Meanwhile, Meg begins to question her sexuality in order to impress some new friends.
Songs: Eric Gales -- Foxy Lady
After accidentally showing Tom Brady his stuff, Peter is offered to join the New England Patriots football team. Peter turns out to be an MVP of sorts, and everything is going well until his new founded fame goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie, and when Brian does pay up, Stewie brings the pain.
Peter goes on a game show and wins a maid for a week. When the week is finally to an end, Peter decides to make the most of it by inviting the guys over to make the biggest mess ever! But when Quagmire lay's eye's on this beauty, he immediatly falls in love. After a few dates he even asks her to marry him, and she says yes. But at the wedding party he see's Lois and realize's he has made a terrible mistake. But when he tries to break things off, Joan threatens to kill herself. How will he get out of the marriage now? Meanwhile, Lois tries to ween Stewie, and he realizes he's addicted to breast milk.
After a pregnancy scare, Lois convinces Peter to get a vasectomy. Just in case they wanted to have more children, Peter goes to a sperm bank to preserve his sperm. But in a mishap, Peter breaks all the jars and fills them up with his own sperm. Thus, creating Stewie's half-brother and rival Bertram when a lesbian couple decide they want a baby. Meanwhile, Stewie takes his place as king of the playground but when Betram shows up he must defend his terf.
After Brian gets a $400 parking ticket, he realizes that Mayor West is a money scamming corrupt Mayor, and sets out to expose the truth. However, Meg, Mayor Wests new more than personal assistant, is dead set against it. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois decide to write songs to perform at Chris' talent show. They break out the marijuana for some "inspiration".
After reading an erotic novel, Peter begins to think he could write a half-decent one. Which he does. But in order to publish it, he'll need Lois' father, Carter, to put down some cash. Which he does. But when a man crashes his car while listening to "Peterotica- On Cassette" Carter is sued for every penny he has, and is forced to move in with the Griffin's. Now Peter must help his regain his former wealth. Meanwhile, Stewie trains for the Olympics. Which is not gay!
Songs: Del Amitri -- Roll To Me
When Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged, Brian suggests they get married right in the Griffin's house. However, when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog, Brian desperately tries to change his decision; turning to Lois for support, who is not sure about her feelings on gay marriage. Meanwhile, Chris joins an extremist "Young Republicans" group to impress a girl.
When Peter tries to build a multiplex in their backyard in order to top Joe's new home theater system, he discovers an ancient Indian burial ground. The family warns him not to mess with any of the grounds ancient remains, but Peter does not fall into the superstition and takes out the Indian chief's skull. The house soon shows signs of being haunted, and when Stewie gets sucked into the TV, they are sure of it. However, this is only the beginning of their problems.
When there's a stir downstairs in the middle of the night, the family runs into Peter's panic room to escape the robbers. Now trapped inside until they are rescued, Peter tells the story of the Griffin family name. Starting all the way back to the caveman era, to his black slave ancestry. Meanwhile, the family chooses Meg (big surprise) to sneak out of the panic room and alert the police.
Songs: The North Star Kids Choir -- Are You Ready For The Summer
After Stewie has a near death experience at the local swimming pool, he decides he needs to make changes in his life in order to become a better person. Meanwhile, after Tom Tucker overhears one of Peter's mindless rants, he asks him to make it a segment on the evening news. However, Tom Tucker soon regrets his decision after Peter begins to steal the spotlight.
After Stewie sees a man on TV in San Fransisco who looks identical to him, he is convinced this man is his father. In another adventure, Stewie, Brian, and Quagmire travel to San Fransisco to find the man, who may or may not be Stewie's real father. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois think that Meg and Chris need to spend more time on the dating scene, and give them dating tips hoping they will spend more time out of the house; so they can have more alone time.
Songs: Jerry Reed -- Eastbound & Down
Stewie and Brian find the man they saw on TV, who turns out to be not Stewie's father, but Stewie's future self, Stu. When Stewie sees what kind of life he will turn out with, he decides he must . However, the changes Stewie makes end up ruining Stu's life.
Songs: English Beat -- March of the Swivelheads
After Rupert is violently ripped to shreds by a stray dog, Lois sows him back together. Grateful for saving his beloved teddy, Stewie becomes obsessed with spending time with her. At first Lois loves all the loving attention, but after time all his love wears her out. Meanwhile, Peter files a lawsuit on the local doctor after he misinterprets his prostate exam.
Peter's mother divorces his dad and begins dating Quahog anchorman Tom Tucker, who becomes Peter's new father figure. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own radio show and Stewie can't help but stir things up.
Songs: June Christy -- Give Me The Simple Life, Starship -- Nothing's Gonna Stop us Now
Everyone is uncomfortable when a heat wave strikes Quahog. To make matters worse, a big box store (a - la Wal-Mart) sets up a new division in Quahog, which runs every other store out of business. Including the brewery. At first, Peter rallies up a gang to go against the the corporation, but once he enters inside the air-conditioned heaven he ends up getting a job there with Meg as his boss. Meanwhile, a car salesman talks Peter into buying a tank (yes, a tank) instead of car for Meg, which Brian and Stewie use to their advantage to take the big corporation down.
When Chris is asked to join the military, Brian is outraged, and heads down to the recruiting office to speak his mind. Once there, Stewie is swindled into signing him and Brian into the military. They are shipped to Iraq, where they desperately try to get honorably discharged in any way possible. Meanwhile, back in Quahog, Chris joins a Goth band.
When Peter gets injured on the job his boss finds out he's been falling behind; Lois goes down there to help him speed things up. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to get Brian to dump his new beautiful but not so intelligent girlfriend.
When Lois starts teaching sex-ed at Chris' school, parents become upset with her uncomfortable honesty. She is replaced with a conservative christian who has all of the condoms removed from James Woods High, but the kids find an interesting loophole. Meanwhile, Stewie sets up a trap to destroy the Tooth Fairy after he loses his first tooth.
Stewie reunites with his old flame Olivia and the two decide to get married. However, their relationship soon begins to dull out. Meanwhile, after Lois introduces Peter to "chick flicks" he decides to make his own.
-- Tom Sawyer
Meg is having problems finding a date for her prom, and she needs some help, even though he is dating his girlfriend Jillian, he decides to go with Meg to the prom. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to get the night over, and ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her "Boyfriend" (even though he is of a different species) and begins to spend every moment with him. In the mean time, Peter, Quagmire and Cleaveland decide to join the Police Force.
When Brian accidentally sells Rupert at a garage sale him and Stewie go on a quest to find him. Meanwhile, Peter loses his drivers license and Meg has to drive him around. Surprisingly, they bond.
When Peter accidentally kills his father it jogs his memory that Francis once told Peter he wasn't his real father. After Thelma tells him that his real father actually lives in Ireland Peter and Brian travel there to find him. Meanwhile, after Lois hits Stewie he discovers that he loves being spanked, and does everything possible in order to get spanked again.
When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but the kid is so annoying that Peter ends up beating him up. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian accidentally leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.
Songs: The Dream Academy -- Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
Peter takes Quagmire to the airport for work and messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. Quagmire cant find another gig, so Peter and Cleveland devise a plan to help him get his old job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day
David Rose -- Closing Theme from Little House on the Prarie, Elmer Bernstein
-- Theme Music from Airplane, Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens -- Theme song from Top Gun
After Peter hurts himself trying to fix a flat tire on former president Bill Clinton's limousine, an appreciative Clinton sets out to show the depressed Peter a good time. Then Clinton has some fun with Lois as well. Meanwhile, Stewie toilet trains Brian.
Songs: Conway Twitty
-- You've Never Been This Far Before, Conway Twitty -- Your Love Had Taken Me That High, (Unknown artist)
-- Night Court theme song
After a historical coin is found under the Griffin's carpet, Peter and Lois start a family restaurant, which soon turns into a favorite place for the paraplegic community of Quahog. But Peter turns against them.
Songs: Elton John
-- I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he's possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
Songs: June Pointer -- Little Boy Sweet, Rossini -- William Tell Overature
When Chris gets expelled from school, the family enrolls him in a snooty boarding school Mr. Pewterschmidt attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter, but you'll never guess how it all ends.
When Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, she isn't the front-runner until she 'dumbs down' her political views. Once in office, she's corrupted by the power and starts accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive trinkets. Meanwhile, Peter's enjoying being the "first lady" and all of the perks that go along with it.
Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire.
Songs: Harold Faltermeyer -- Axel F aka Beverly Hills Cop Theme, Kenny Loggins -- Mr. Night
The outrageous antics of the Griffin family show no signs of stopping as Family Guy takes a look back at the funniest and most satiric scenes of the past on a special all-new half-hour tribute.
The Family Guy tribute special celebrates the side-splitting irreverent humor of this fan-favorite animated series by taking a look back at some of the funniest moments, satirical spoofs and music numbers of the past 100 episodes.
"Stewie Kills Lois," Family Guy's 100th milestone episode, will air immediately following the special beginning at 9:00 ET/PT.
When the power goes out in the Griffin home, Peter decides to educate his family and pass along the greatest story ever told, the story of Star Wars!
After Princess Leia (Lois) comes under siege by Darth Vader (Stewie) and his evil Storm Troopers, C-3PO (Quagmire) and R2-D2 (Cleveland) escape to find the only person who can help the Rebel Alliance.
On their quest thorough the desert planet of Tatooine, C-3PO and R-2D2 find extra help in Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert), Luke Skywalker (Chris), Han Solo (Peter) and Chewbacca (Brian) and head back to battle the Death Star in an epic intergalactic fight to the death.
Songs: Stephen Bishop -- It Might Be You, Cab Calloway & The Blues Brothers -- Minnie the Moocher
When Peter convinces Brian to move in with his dense girlfriend Jillian, she ends up smothering him, but he keeps her around for the lovin'. Stewie moves in with them to help pay the rent, but he tries to get Brian back on the playing field by throwing him a drunken party and interfering with their relationship. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job at the local convenience store, as does Chris, who gets chummy with the manager, Carl. While Chris and Carl talk about their favorite movies, Meg is saddled with all the hard work. She eventually stands up for herself and as a result gets fired.
After Bonnie (Jennifer Tilly) tells Joe (Patrick Warburton) that she is tired of being married to a handicapped person, Joe decides to get a leg transplant. Excited about his new ability to walk, Joe dives head first into extreme sports and begins to hang around more active friends. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys are upset at how Joe is acting and decide to teach him a lesson. In doing so, they re-cripple him and he is back to normal.
Songs: Gloria Gaynor
-- I Will Survive, The Brady Kids -- It's A Sunshine Day
After Lois and Peter go on a cruise without inviting the kids, it upsets Stewie. A jealous Stewie gets back that urge he once had, for the urge to kill his mother has returned with a vengance.
In order to obtain world domination Stewie goes undercover and tries out for American Idol. Lois mysteriously returns to Quahog after being presumed dead. Lois discovers what Stewie is up to and decides it is finally time to take control and confront her baby.
Peter discovers that he was really born in Mexico and his mother has never filled out his U.S. citizenship papers, making him an illegal alien. This causes his firing from the brewery and his hiring as a worker at the Pewterschmidt estate.
Peter starts to treat Megan with more respect and dignity after she was hurt in an accident and Stewie and Brian try their hand at house flipping.
Peter decides to grow a moustache, but then he's mistaken for a fireman (because they all have moustaches), so he lends a hand when a fire breaks out at a local fast food restaurant.
The owner gives him unlimited burgers as a "thank you" but he eats so many that he eventually has a stroke. When Peter recovers, he vows to expose the fast-food company and becomes friends with a genetically engineered cow (Montalban) he meets after infiltrating the McBurgertown warehouse
Songs: Bob Dylan
-- Hurricane, R.E.M.
-- It's The End of the World As We Know it (and I Fee, The Monkees
-- Pleasant Valley Sunday
James Woods returns after being locked in a crate to seek revenge against Peter.
First, James steals Peter's identity and moves in as head of the Griffin household. Then, Peter goes out and ruins James career and image
Peter and Lois's marriage is on the rocks, but when Brian wins the New England Rising Writer's award, the three of them head to Martha's Vineyard for a relaxing vacation.
As Peter's drinking spirals out of control, so does Brian's self restraint as he professes his undying love for Lois. Peter and Brian test their friendship over the woman of their dreams.
When Brian is afraid that he has lost his chance at love, he goes in search of a former flame Tracy (Harvey Fierstein) only to discover he is the father of her unruly son, Dylan. After Brian’s surprise visit, Tracy drops Dylan off at the Griffin’s so Brian can raise him. Subsequently, his new little angel begins terrorizing the Griffin household and Brian’s self-important attitude toward parenting infuriates Peter and Lois.
During a visit to the vet Peter steals a parrot, and decides to become a pirate. Meanwhile Chris falls for the vet's intern. (Amanda Bynes)
-- Clocks, Erich Wolfgang Korngold -- Music from “Sea Hawk”, James Thomson (Lyrics) & Thomas Arne (Music) -- Rule Britannia
Narrated by Mathew Horne, this BBC3 special goes behind the scenes of the hit animation comedy Family Guy.
It includes exclusive interviews with the cast and creators, sneak peek clips from season 8 and an inside look at how the show is created.
Narrated by Mathew Horne this BBC3 special takes a look at how the multi award winning animation show was originally created.
A must for all Family Guy fans, the show includes exclusive interviews with the cast and creators, sneak peak clips from season eight and examines the success of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane.
Dissatisfied with his current love life, Brian decides to slow things down when he meets the girl of his dreams, Carolyn.
However, Cleveland soon sweeps Carolyn off her feet, and Brian must do anything he can do, to win her back, even if it means involving Cleveland's ex-wife, Loretta
When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "Surfin' Bird," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again!
Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face, none other than Jesus.
Songs: Geto Boyz -- Still, The Trashmen -- Surfin' Bird
While looking for a bathroom, Mort Goldman time travels back to Poland right before the Nazi invasion. Brian and Stewie decide to go back and save him.
Songs: (Unknown artist) -- Through Poland To A Jewish Village
Peter wins a year of unlimited gas, and Brian suggests that the family use the funds to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. So the Griffins pack up the car and hit the road, but leave some very precious cargo at home. When the family finally realizes that they have left behind one of their own, it's a mad, explosive, hilarious dash back to Quahog.
Songs: Marvin Gaye -- Let's Get It On, The Dream Academy -- Power To Believe, Huey Lewis & The News -- The Power of Love, Righteous Brothers -- Unchained Melody
After watching Johnny Knoxville on Jackass, Peter and the guys film their own shenanigans. When Brian gets hurt, the family worries that he's getting too old, so Peter brings home a new dog. Everything is great until the 'New Brian' crosses the line.
Songs: Grieg -- 'Peer Gynt' Suite No. 1, Op. 46 - 'Morning'
Peter's boss Angela sends him back to the third grade so that he can qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie open the coolest club in Quahog
After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie!
Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper.
Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a loan shark to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt
Songs: Men Without Hats -- Safety Dance
To help pay off his incredible debt, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash.
First, he is injected with the "Seth Rogen" gene (guest voice Rogen) that "gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny."
Then he is injected with a gene that leads him to a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind.
Although the family is crushed, they quickly realize the most important thing is that Peter is happy
Songs: Charmian Carr & Daniel Truhitte from “The Sound of Music” -- Sixteen Going on Seventeen
In this "lost" episode, Peter wins a chance to go golfing with infamous football player, O.J. Simpson.
Songs: Kansas -- Dust in the Wind, Conway Twitty -- I See the Want in Your Eyes
Lois lands a job as a news reporter where her first assignment is to shoot an investigative expose on a liberal filmmaker, but when her story implicates a conservative radio host she gets canned. Meanwhile, Peter uses his wife's connections with FOX to create and pitch his own cartoon series.
Stewie builds a transporter and brings the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation into his room so he can spend the day with them. Meanwhile, Meg catches the mumps--and becomes a born-again Christian while watching a religious TV show starring Kirk Cameron.
Songs: Queen -- “Flash” (from the “Flash Gordon” Soundtrack)
Brian leads a protest to have marijuana legalized after Brian gets arrested for possession. Meanwhile, Peter accidentally kills Quagmire's pet cat.
Songs: The Bangles -- Walk Like an Egyptian
After Stewie gets his baby butt kicked by Joe’s infant daughter, he starts hitting the gym with Peter.
It seems like all of Stewie’s hard work is paying off until Peter drops a bombshell when he reveals just how Stewie got those six-pack abs.
Meanwhile, Chris starts to date Connie D'Amico and quickly realizes that popularity is like physics – as in what goes up must come down.
Source: Stewie's Playground
Songs: Chuck Mangione -- Feels So Good, Q Lazzarus -- Goodbye Horses, Starship -- We Built This City
When Brian discovers that his ex, Jillian (guest voice Drew Barrymore) is getting married, he is devastated until he meets “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad.
Brian quickly discovers that Lauren just might be his perfect match – if only he can let Jillian go.
Source: Stewie's Playground
Songs: The Eyeliners -- I'll Do It Over Again, Sum41 -- In Too Deep
Peter hosts a special episode that features adaptations of 3 of Stephen King's greatest works: Stand By Me, Misery & The Shawshank Redemption.
Songs: Buddy Holly -- “Everyday”, The Rembrandts -- “Friends” Theme Song, Gwen Stefani -- “Hollaback Girl”
Cleveland's psychic relative reveals that Peter in a past life, founded Quahog as Griffin Peterson.
Within the vision, Griffin falls for Lois Redbush which angers King Stewie.
Seth MacFarlane invades FOX's Sunday Night “Animation Domination” with a commercial-free variety special starring MacFarlane and his “Family Guy” co-star Alex Borstein.
This half-hour special will highlight the duo's subversive and unique comedic sensibilities and feature original animation, live-action performances of “Family Guy's” most memorable musical numbers, comedy sketches and surprise celebrity guests
Writer: Wellesley Wild
, John Viener
, Alec Sulkin
, Danny Smith (1)
, Patrick Meighan
, Seth MacFarlane
, Artie Johann
, David Ihlenfeld
, Andy Goldberg
, Cherry Chevapravatdumrong
, Alex Borstein
, Aaron Blitzstein
Stewie & Brian embark on a journey through different alternate universes.
Things go awry when they get stuck in a universe where dogs are the dominate species.
Songs: Van Halen -- Drop Dead Legs
After a medical scare, Lois is shocked to discover she is actually Jewish.
After embracing the Jewish lifestyle Peter receives a visit from the spirit of his father telling him to return to his Catholic roots.
When he tries to forbid Lois from practicing Judaism, she rebels and embraces her true heritage.
Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd (starring as themselves) move to Spooner Street and hit it off with the Griffins culminating in Stewie and Brian becoming involved with a spy mission in Russia.
Songs: Jennifer Lopez -- Let's Get Loud
Brian dates an older woman despite the ribbing he gets from his family.
It only gets worse when he's forced to become her errand boy after she breaks her hip.
Stewie attends a concert of a teen superstar and discovers a surprising secret about the singer.
Meanwhile back at home, Chris tries to prove to the family that the Evil Monkey is real.
Quagmire is shocked to discover a baby left on his doorstep but quickly realizes he's not daddy material.
Meanwhile, Stewie clones himself.
Realizing they need to find a replacement for Cleveland, the guys decide they need another black guy.
They happen to meet Jerome who fits in perfectly only to find out he has a history with Lois.
Meanwhile, after Brian volunteers to be the group's fourth, he finds out Glen hates him.
When Brian accidentally kills another dog, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one.
Meanwhile, Lois hires Consuela as their maid.
After Carter has a stroke and falls into a coma, Peter assumes control of Pewterschmidt Enterprises.
However, things don't go as planned after he fires the entire staff.
After an accident on the set of Family Feud, Peter suffers complete amnesia.
When he doesn't remember his marriage to Lois and invites other woman into their bed, Lois leaves Peter and runs to Quagmire for support.
Songs: Foreigner -- Feels Like the First Time
After Brian gets a job writing about the typical American teenager he decided to follow Meg.
He is shocked to discover she is in a relationship with a teenage convict. Things get even more complicated when Luke breaks out of prison and winds up at the Griffin's house.
Songs: Billy Joel -- The Ballad of Billy the Kid
Peter mistakenly believes he has psychic powers.
Meanwhile, Chris develops a crush on a girl w/ Down Syndrome at school.
After Stewie is rejected when he auditions for the American version of Jolly Farm Review, he figures out a different way to get the part.
Meanwhile, after Peter makes Lois feel old, she becomes attached to Meg's new boyfriend.
Songs: Stephen Bishop -- It Might be You
Stewie gets the part in his school play but is overcome with stage fright, meanwhile, Peter decided to become a member of the paparazzi after encountering Richard Dreyfus.
After Lois convinces Brian to submit an old script to a TV producer his show gets picked up. However, Brian is outraged when James Woods is hired as the star.
Meanwhile, Chris and Meg seriously injure Stewie and try to cover it up
When the local news announces that the Earth will be destroyed by a black hole in 24 hours, everyone in Quahog goes nuts trying to live out their last day.
In the mayhem Peter reveals his true feelings about his family.
Stewie & Brian spend 3 days locked in a bank vault where they discover the truth about each other.
Guest Stars: Lori Alan
as Diane Simmons (From “You've Got A Lot to See” Song) | Tom Brady
as Himself (From “Shipoopi” Song) | Adam West
as Mayor Adam West (From “You've Got A Lot to See” Song) | Mike Henry
as Herbert (From “All I Need Is The Boy” Song) | Mila Kunis
as Meg Griffin (From “You've Got A Lot to See” Song)
Glen's father, Dan Quagmire, pays him a visit only to reveal a startling secret.
Songs: Nancy Sinatra -- These Boots Are Made For Walkin'
After Peter soils himself with the repeated telling of a dirty joke, he, Glenn & Joe decide to find out the source of the world's dirty joke.
Their journey takes them to Virginia where Cleveland joins their search.
Songs: Asia -- Only Time Will Tell, REO Speedwagon -- Take It on the Run, Henry Mancini (Composer) -- “What's Happening” Theme Song
During a second power outage, Peter tells the story of Star Wars Empire Strikes Back.
Songs: Paula Cole -- Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
While at her 20th college reunion, Lois meets up with her friend Naomi who asks Lois and Peter for a big favor.
Naomi and her husband Dale ask Lois is she will be a surrogate mother to their child.
Lois agrees to carry their child but after she becomes pregnant, Dale and Naomi are killed in a car crash so she must make the difficult decision whether to terminate the pregnancy or carry to term.
After receiving mysterious and anonymous invitations, The Griffins, The Swansons, The Goldmans, Glen Quagmire, Jillian, Derek, Adam West, Tom Tucker, Diane Simmons, Herbert, Carl, Dr. Hartman & Seamus arrive at a secluded ocean side mansion.
They quickly realize all is not what it seems when someone starts killing off the guests.
When Brian learns that Rush Limbaugh is singing books and the Quahog Mall, he decides to go down there and give him a piece of his mind. However, when Rush comes to Brian's rescue during a gang beating, he gives Rush's books a second look and the 2 become fast friends.
After Carter forces Peter's silence upon the discovery of his affair, Peter realizes he has Carter over a barrel.
However, Peter spills the beans and Barbara divorces Carter which leaves Peter reintroducing Carter to single life.
Songs: (Unknown artist) -- Jeepers Creepers
Peter and Joe team up for their annual tradition of mean spirited pranks on Glenn.
Meanwhile, Brian takes Stewie for his very night of trick or treating. However, their night gets sidetracked by three bullies which leaves Stewie seeking revenge.
During a night of 'Foxy Boxing' Peter volunteers Lois to take part.
To everyone's surprise Lois takes a liking to the matches. Although, when she is confronted by the reining champ, she's unsure she can rise to the challenge.
Uncredited: Adam West
as Mayor Adam West (Deleted Scene)
After one final rejection from his book, Brian decided to throw in the towel but with Stewie's help give it one last chance with a self-help book.
Meanwhile, Lois decides that she and Peter need separate beds, a decision that leaves Peter looking for a new cuddle buddy.
Stewie’s favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is making an appearance at the mall, he begs Brian to take him so that he can tell Santa in person what he wants for Christmas.
Brian begrudgingly takes Stewie to the mall, only to get the brush-off from Santa. As a result, Stewie and Brian travel to the North Pole to find Santa and teach him a lesson in holiday cheer
After a home made energy drink, Peter suffers complete kidney failure. His only chance is a transplant which Brian agrees to.
Meanwhile, Chris wins an essay contest that gives him the privilege of introducing the President of United States, Barack Obama.
The only problem, Meg wrote the winning essay.
Uncredited: Scott Baio
as Charles (“Charles in Charge” Opening) | Willie Aames
as Buddy Lembeck (“Charles in Charge” Opening) | Sandra Kerns
as Ellen Powell (“Charles in Charge” Opening) | Nicole Eggert
as Jamie Powell (“Charles in Charge” Opening) | Josie Davis
as Sarah Powell (“Charles in Charge” Opening)
Lois becomes friends with Joyce Kinney, the new local news anchor.
When Lois spills a secret about her youth, Joyce reveals it on the local news which leaves Lois picking up the pieces of her reputation.
After a drunken incident at the movies, Peter and Brian are arrested & sentenced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous.
They decide the meetings can be more entertaining with the introduction of drinking.
Meanwhile, Death returns and shows Peter what his life would be like alcohol free.
Chris meets a puppeteer named Franz, an old acquaintance of Herbert’s.
When Bonnie goes out of town, Meg offers to check in on Joe, but she soon becomes a little too involved and starts freaking everyone out – especially Joe.
Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he’s losing his edge as the toughest baby on the block, so he hooks himself up to a machine that is supposed to make him more evil than ever before.
Chris and Meg think their parents have it easy, but Peter and Lois beg to differ, so in order to teach them a lesson, they all trade roles.
Chris goes to work at the brewery while Meg runs the house.
While things start off well, it’s not long until the stress of running a household and being the sole breadwinner break down Chris and Meg
When the local dry cleaner loses Peter’s favorite white shirt, he goes ballistic.
Meanwhile, Brian tries to score on a date with a new friend, Denise (guest voice Stroup), but ends up striking out.
Instead of calling it quits on love, he decides to enlist Quagmire’s help, but things get nasty when they start to compete for the affections of each other’s old flames, Cheryl Tiegs (guest-voicing as herself) and Jillian (guest voice Barrymore)
Distraught over her 9th divorce, Lois’ sister, Carol (guest voice Hagerty), comes to stay with the Griffins.
During her stay Carol meets Adam West and it's love at first sight and decide to get married, however Lois has misgivings about Carol entering another relationship so soon after her recent split.
Meanwhile, Peter is thrilled with the prospect of having a brother in Adam West.
When Stewie uses his time machine to embarrass Brian in the past, an accident lands the 2 outside the space time continuum.
The only way to return to reality is to explode the return pad. Once safely home, Stewie discovers his return pad explosion was the origin of the universe.
While trying to find plutonium to build another return pad, Bertram discovers Stewie has a time machine and hatches a plan to destroy one of Stewie's ancestors without realizing Stewie's destruction means the end of all existence.
Bonnie and Lois take a little trip to Paris, but Bonnie crosses the line in the City of Love.
Meanwhile, Peter home schools Chris and Meg using some unorthodox teaching methods.
Uncredited: Mick Jagger
as Himself (Footage from “Dancing in the Street” Video) | David Bowie
as Himself (Footage from “Dancing in the Street” Video)
After a third power blackout, the family (albeit reluctantly) tells the story of “Star Wars: Return of the Jedi”.
Uncredited: Ted Knight
as Judge Elihu Smails (Footage from “Caddyshack”) | Conway Twitty
as Himself (Archive Footage)(DVD Only)
Peter blows his savings on lottery tickets and the family writes it off as one of his usual shenanigans until they end up millionaires.
In true Griffin fashion, they can’t handle the good fortune and struggle to stay grounded
Uncredited: Ricardo Montalban
as Khan (Footage from “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan”) | William Shatner
as Captain Kirk (Footage from “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan”)
When a storm hits in Quahog, to help pass the time and calm his nerves, Brian consumes some questionable substances and has trouble sobering up.
Meanwhile, Meg goes off the deep end after the family takes one too many jabs at her.
Quagmire lands in the hospital and his sister, Brenda, and her boyfriend, Jeff, rush to Quahog to nurse him back to health. As Glenn recovers he quickly realizes that Brenda is the one who needs help
Ryan Reynolds pays a visit to Quahog and becomes obsessed with Peter.
Meanwhile, Stewie tries to be a big boy and steals the family car for a joy ride but lands in a bit of trouble
Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the pilot episode of Family Guy to change history, and then to change history again.
During Thanksgiving dinner, to everyone's surprise, Kevin Swanson returns home.
On the return from an adventurous day at an amusement park, the Griffins’ car breaks down in Amish country and they are stranded with no way out. When Meg falls for an Amish boy, the Griffins then find themselves in a crusade against the conservative locals.
Peter and the guys take a stand against their wives and flee to the Deep South on a road trip. On their Deep South road trip, Peter and the guys earn a one-way ticket to jail, then decide to make a run for it.
It’s winter in Quahog, and Lois’ parents take Stewie away on a trip. But when Carter falls asleep at the wheel, the family decides it might be time for him to retire.
Peter and Lois take the clan to Florida to check out some fine retirement communities, but Carter refuses to go down without a fight.
Quagmire shows interest in Meg on her 18th birthday
Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs.
Meanwhile, the Griffin family installs a new staircase in their home when Peter keeps falling on the old one and decides to live upstairs full-time.
When Stewie’s new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a critical, but treatable, disease.
However, the boy’s parents refuse treatment due to their religious beliefs, leaving Lois no choice but to take drastic measures to seek treatment for the boy herself.
When Peter decides to become a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker’s agent as his first step toward stardom but things don't go as planned when an old acquainted shows up.
Meanwhile, Chris dates a girl who looks disturbingly like a member of the Griffin household.
When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor to a helpful dolphin named Billy Finn (guest voice Ricky Gervais).
When Billy shows up at Peter's door looking for a place to stay after his wife throws him out, he reluctantly lets him stay.
After a few days, Peter finally tires of his new house guest & tries to reunite Billy with his wife.
Meanwhile Stewie tells Brian about his abusive nursery school teacher but Brian is reluctant to take action when she turns out to be someone he wants to date.
Uncredited: John Banner
as Sergeant Schultz (Footage from “Hogan's Heroes”)
Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. However, things take a turn for the worse when the trio decides to burn it down to collect insurance money
When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweight kids.
Meanwhile, Stewie is traumatized by the frightening cover of a Queen album
-- Killer Queen
When a seemingly innocent guy’s night out takes a sudden turn, Peter, Joe, Brian and Quagmire wake up in a hospital and discover that their memories have been erased and Quahog has been deserted.
Songs: The Trash Men -- Bird is the Word
After Peter’s favorite children’s television show gets cancelled, he takes matters into his own hands by creating and starring in his own show for kids.
Meanwhile, Meg begins an internship at the hospital with Dr. Hartman
Stewie meets a girl who's just as precocious as he is, and it turns out that they have much in common including a love of advanced weaponry. Meanwhile, Lois is tired of being crushed in bed by the sleeping Peter, so she gets twin beds. This upsets Peter, who needs to cuddle to fall asleep.
Songs: Dr. Hook -- Sharing the Night Together
Meg takes a solo trip across Europe but after she's kidnapped, Brian & Stewie travel abroad to save her.
When Peter's business is shut down by city hall, he joins the Tea Party and successfully shuts down the government.
Meanwhile, Carter reaps the benefits with all the chaos in Quahog.
Stewie & Brian present another round of viewer inspired segments.
Songs: Leon René -- Rockin' Robin
With Peter's encouragement, Joe has an affair on Bonnie, but when she insists on a divorce, Lois forces Peter to get them back together.
Meanwhile Peter meets up with an old foe.
Family Guy fans get a behind-the-scenes look at this irreverent comedy’s most outrageous moments, through fascinating interviews with creator Seth MacFarlane and voice actors Mila Kunis, Alex Borstein and Seth Green.
Additionally, the special will give fans an exclusive glimpse into the cast and crew’s 200th episode party in Los Angeles, from the red carpet to MacFarlane serenading the party-goers, accompanied by an orchestra.
After reuniting with Ross Fishman, Lois insists the family have dinner with them despite Peter's protests.
After the Fishman's condescending attitude leaves the Griffins feeling second rate, they decide they are going to climb Mount Everest.
The Griffins are chosen to be a Nielsen family, however when Peter's enthusiasm gets the better of him, his changes to TV anger Quahog.
When Brian discovers Carter is dying of cancer, he soon discovers a much larger secret.
Meanwhile, Quagmire reveals a hair-raising secret of his own.
When Brian uses Stewie's time machine to impress women he meets at bars, he accidentally causes time to run in reverse causing serious consequences for Stewie. So the two must work together to set things right before Stewie is “unborn.”
After 15 years, the man who shot Joe leaving him in a wheelchair gets caught but soon escapes leaving Joe to take the law into his own hands.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Griffins take a liking to Glenn's cat when they cat-sit while he's away.
After Peter makes Lois feel bad about her age during a surprise birthday party. she decided she needs a younger lease on life.
Peter enjoys the new Lois but soon realizes he can't keep up with her lifestyle.
Meanwhile, Stewie adopts a turtle from the park but soon discovers it has a hidden agenda.
Meg finally asks out the boy she's had a crush on, Kent, but after he reveals he's gay Meg decides she will have him regardless of the cost.
Meanwhile, Stewie think he has a secret admirer.
It's Christmas time again & Peter tells his own version of the Nativity.
To boost Chris’ self-esteem, Peter and Lois send him to space camp. When camp ends and the Griffins come to pick Chris up, they accidentally are launched into outer space, and it’s up to Chris to land the clan safely back on earth
Brian writes a play that’s a hit in Quahog, but his confidence is shaken when he reads a play Stewie wrote that’s much better than his. Soon, Stewie’s work is Broadway-bound, causing a rift between the two
When Peter, Quagmire and Joe visit the Harvard University campus, Quagmire accidentally marries a prostitute. In order to get out of his marriage, Quagmire pretends to be lovers with Peter.
Love is in the air on Valentine’s Day. Meg dates a guy from the internet, Stewie uses his time machine and falls for a girl in the ‘60s and Peter and Lois decide to stay in bed all day.
Meanwhile, Brian’s ex-girlfriends pay him a visit and Quagmire gets in touch with his feminine side.
To buy new sneakers, Chris steals money from Lois' purse. When Meg catches him in the act, she forces him to do all of her chores in exchange for keeping mum.
But Chris finally tires of the pact, and runs away to live with Herbert.
Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian become obsessed with singer Anne Murray (guest-voicing as herself), and visit her to find out the true meaning of “Snowbird”
When the Griffins find themselves in a financial bind, Lois is forced to find a job of her own. She gets discovered by a "voiceover" talent agent named Randy, who actually runs an adult-only phone line and pays his employees generously.
As Lois settles into her new gig, she hears Peter's voice on the other end of the line.
When Peter, Quagmire and Joe need a jolt in their mundane lives, they decide to go skydiving. But after an unfortunate accident, Peter ends up in the hospital, where he befriends Mahmoud (guest voice Omid Abtahi), who convinces Peter to convert to Islam.
Quagmire and Joe are suspicious of Mahmoud’s intentions and try to stop the friendship from progressing
Songs: Leo Delibe -- Flower Duet
A bloody murder occurs at Mayor West’s mansion, and he is the prime suspect. The mayor is put on trial, and it is up to the citizens of Quahog to determine if he is guilty or not.
When Peter, Quagmire and Joe fly on a private plane to Canada, they crash in the middle of the wilderness, far from civilization.
Peter is chosen to find help, but ends up going missing for two months, only to be found as a feral creature with no ability to communicate intelligently. The Griffins must find a way to bring back Peter to his old self.
After discovering Lois had sent Rupert back due to a product recall, Stewie sets out to rescue him.
Meanwhile, while Peter is sick in bed Lois fills in during a bowling tournament & befriends Quagmire & Joe which causes Peter to become jealous of the time they're spending together without him.
When the owner of the Clam is killed, the bar closes and Peter, Quagmire and Joe must find a way to save their beloved watering hole.
Meanwhile, Meg gets an after-school job at a funeral home.
When a heightened crime rate strikes the Griffin house with a break in, Peter moves the family to a farm.
Struggling financially, they discover a meth lab in their basement, they decide there's only one way to save the farm.
Songs: Kid Rock
-- Bawitdaba, Ratt
-- Round and Round, Queen
-- You're My Best Friend
When Brian wins tickets to a Céline Dion concert he invites Stewie to come along.
After Stewie suggests they take his new experimental transporter, it malfunctions creating an alternate pair of Stewie & Brian leading to one pair having a great trip and the other having a bad.
When Chris make the acquaintance of the daughter of the owner of the Barrington Country Club, the Griffins are introduced to the new club lifestyle much to the chagrin of Carter.
Carter eventually gets kicked out of Barrington and Peter agrees to help him get back in.
Believing a restaurant's children's place mat is a real treasure map, Peter drags the family all over Quahog in search of it.
Although, after spilling the beans on the news about a crucial clue, the whole town is now looking for the treasure pitting friends against friends.
Peter discovers that he has a vestigial twin, whom he names Chip, growing out of his neck. It’s not long before Peter resents the fact that everyone seems to love Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin.
However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.
When Quagmire takes his new laptop in for repairs he meets Sonya, a woman who is as kinky as he is.
However things go very wrong when Sonya's games get too rough, even for Glenn & he ends up missing.
Meanwhile, after finding his old teddy bear, Oscar, in the attic a love triangle of sorts begins brewing between Stewie, Oscar & Rupert.
Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed “Mental Mike.” When he sets the date for her end on Friday, Meg tries to get out of it.
Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point
The Griffins take a trip to Italy where Lois hopes to rekindle the spark between her & Peter.
The family takes to Italy quite well so Peter destroys their passports but after feeling homesick must try to find a way back home.
After a disastrous trip to colonial Jamestown, Stewie decided once & for all to destroy his time machine.
However he regrets the decision when Brian needs his help the most.
Later, the Griffins welcome a new member into the family with the addition of Vinny.
While protecting themselves from a bee, Glenn & Peter discovery they have great harmony so the decide to form a singing duo.
However things go from good to bad when fame goes to Peter's head.
The family takes Stewie to Quahog Mall's Christmas Carnival only to discover it's been canceled by Carter.
Peter decides to revive Carter's holiday spirit & get the carnival back, however, it still doesn't help Stewie's Christmas blues.
He finally realizes what he really wants for Christmas, but it's the one thing he just can't have.
After getting fired from the Pawtucket Brewery, Lois lands a job as Assistant Manager of the Quahog Grocery Store. However, due Lois being the breadwinner, Peter has trouble performing his marriage duties so he enlists the help of Glenn & Joe to get his libido back.
Songs: AC DC
-- Back in Black
Family Guy puts its own spin on three classic fairy tales, “Jack and the Beanstalk,” “Little Red Riding Hood,” & “Cinderella”
Dylan surprises Brian by visiting Quahog with the news he's starring in his own TV show filming in town, but things don't go as planned when the only thing Brian is interested in is working on Dylan's show.
Meanwhile, after Peter accidentally shoots Glenn during a hunting trip, Quagmire declares their friendship over which leave Joe having to choose one of them.
After learning his mother, Thelma, has died of a stroke, Peter befriends one of her neighbors however things get rather uncomfortable when she gets a little too friendly.
Meanwhile, Stewie tries to make sense of the concept of death.
Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.
When Chris learns that he is the heir to Carter’s fortune, but refuses to take the money, Peter takes drastic measures to keep the wealth in the family.
Songs: Pat Benatar
-- Hit Me With Your Best Shot, John Philip Sousa -- Stars & Stripes Forever
Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke.
Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school
Brian gives Stewie an STD.
Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam
Peter brings home the wrong child from the park, prompting Lois to call him an idiot again.
Peter decides to change his way and class up his act.
When Chris begins to date Jerome's daughter, Pam, Jerome forbids it.
But when Chris and Pam run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find their kids.
Meg has a surprisingly good time partying with Peter when he takes her on a college tour.
Meanwhile, Brian must learn how to live as an 'outside dog' when he's thrown out of the house after getting sprayed by a skunk.
Cleveland returns home to Quahog and everything is fine until Donna disciplines Chris for breaking her grandmother's vase.
Furious, Lois forbids the Griffins from ever seeing the Browns again, which includes Peter not seeing Cleveland.
It's the last straw for Stewie, when his favorite TV show is interrupted by Peter & Chris' latest shenanigans.
To be rid of the Griffins once and for all, he decides to go back in time and break Peter & Lois up so he's never born.
Doing this however, causes him to be born in a seemingly ideal, British aristocratic household.
The Griffins travel through Springfield where the meet The Simpsons who greet their their new "albino" friends with open arms.
Homer & Peter debate which is the better beer, Bart shows Stewie some classic pranks, Lisa attempts to find Meg's talent & Marge & Lois become bosom buddies.