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Family Guy
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| Title: | Patriot Games |
| Episode Number: | 70 |
| Season: | 4 |
| Season Episode #.: | 20 |
| Production Number: | 4ACX25 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday January 29th, 2006 |
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| | Other Release Dates: (Edit) | | Country: | Aired On: | |
 United Kingdom |
Jan 23, 2007 |
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After accidentally showing Tom Brady his stuff, Peter is offered to join the New England Patriots football team. Peter turns out to be an MVP of sorts, and everything is going well until his new founded fame goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie, and when Brian does pay up, Stewie brings the pain.
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| Tom Brady was also animated last year when he starred in The Simpsons.
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| | Artist | Song Title | Played When | | •Music Man | Shipoopi | |
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| Peter: You know, Mike Tyson once beat up his wife. But there's nothing funny about that. (long pause then light laughter)
| Peter: I want to thank God. I want to thank the Lord God 'cause it's really not up to me, it's up to him. Errm, and I want to thank the devil too errr you know, cos err, 'cause, err, you know that's why God is there. He's minding the fence to make sure that guy never comes back. You know if it weren't for the devil God'd probably go insane and blow his brains out from boredom. Everybody likes to feel useful. Make-a the world-a go round. Back to you Tom.
| Tom Brady: What happened to you?
(Stewie Gives Brian an Evil Glare)
Brian: I fell down the stairs.
Stewie: You should be more careful.
| Stewie: Where's my money bitch?!
| Stewie: So, uh, its been 24 hours. You got my money?
Brian: Oh, just give me 'til next Friday. I'll have it for you.
Stewie: That's funny. I could have sworn I said have it today.
Brian: Yeah, I don't have it.
Stewie: Well, alright then. (drinks rest of orange juice) Mmm, that's good OJ. (jumps up and smashes orange juice glass on Brian's head) (while Brian is screaming) Did that hurt? Did that hurt?
Brian: What the hell?! What the hell?!
Stewie: That don't feel so good. No, huh? (kicks Brian's kneecap in, then punches him twice in the rib. Stewie then throws Brian on to the ground.) That's what happens man. Yep, that's what happens. (kicks Brian several times in the ribs, then punches him in the mouth five times.) You gonna give me my money? You gonna give me my money? Where's my money? (punches Brian in the mouth one last time, knocking teeth out, then starts punching him in the nose. Stewie then takes down metal towel rack and begins beating Brian with it.) Where's the money?! Where's the money?! (grabs Brian by his collar and drags him to the toilet, then dunks him in there, and begins smashing his head in with the toilet seat.) Where's the money, man?! Where's my money?! (throws Brian on the floor.) You got 'til 5:00, you hear me? You got 'til 5:00.
Brian: You freakin' psychopath!
Stewie: (throws towel at Brian) Clean yourself up!
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| Shipoopi
Shipoopi (the song Peter sings after making the touchdown) comes from the musical "The Music Man".
| The episode title "Patriot Games" may be a reference to the 1992 action film of the same name 'Patriot Games' but more than likely simply be referring to the episode plot being 'Peter gets the chance to play for the New England Patriots.'
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