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Family Guy: I Take Thee, Quagmire

Peter goes on a game show and wins a maid for a week. When the week is finally to an end, Peter decides to make the most of it by inviting the guys over to make the biggest mess ever! But when Quagmire lay's eye's on this beauty, he immediatly falls in love. After a few dates he even asks her to marry him, and she says yes. But at the wedding party he see's Lois and realize's he has made a terrible mistake. But when he tries to break things off, Joan threatens to kill herself. How will he get out of the marriage now? Meanwhile, Lois tries to ween Stewie, and he realizes he's addicted to breast milk.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 4x21
Production Number: 4ACX23
Airdate: Sunday March 12th, 2006

Alternate Airdates:

UK (itv2) Jan 23, 2007

Guest Stars
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Glenn Quagmire
Adam CarollaAdam Carolla
voiced Death
Adam WestAdam West
voiced Mayor Adam West
Alex ThomasAlex Thomas
voiced Dolphin #1 | Dolphin #4
Beth LittlefordBeth Littleford
voiced Jane Kaczmarek
Bryan CranstonBryan Cranston
voiced Himself
Danny Smith (1)Danny Smith (1)
voiced Minister
Darrel HeathDarrel Heath
voiced Dolphin #2 | Dolphin #3
Fred TatascioreFred Tatasciore
voiced Alec Baldwin | Crewman
Jennifer TillyJennifer Tilly
voiced Bonnie Swanson
John VienerJohn Viener
voiced Announcer
Lacey ChabertLacey Chabert
voiced Meg
Patrick WarburtonPatrick Warburton
voiced Joe Swanson
Steve CallaghanSteve Callaghan
voiced Operator
Alex TrebekAlex Trebek
voiced Himself
Christy RomanoChristy Romano
voiced Joan | Mother
Pat SajakPat Sajak
voiced Himself
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Various Characters
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin | Various Characters
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Chris Griffin | Various Characters
Mike Henry (1)Mike Henry (1)
voiced Cleveland Brown | Various Characters
Lacey ChabertLacey Chabert
voiced Meg Griffin
Episode Notes
Chris did not appear in this episode.

In this episode, Meg's voice is done by Lacey Chabert due to the unavailability of Mila Kunis.

We learn that Stewie has apparently been feeding off Lois' breast milk for quite some time, and has even become addicted.

One of the prizes in the game show was a "ceramic dalmation". This was a real prize for many years on the Wheel of Fortune.

Patrick Warburton and Christy Carlson Romano have also worked together on the animated series Kim Possible.

Death appears in this episode, his first time since "Perfect Castaway".

Peter brings forth a confirmation of Quagmires foot fetish.

Episode Quotes
Peter: I'll take the fat man in the bubble.
Alex Trebeck: That's you.
Peter: Oh, how embarrassing.

Joan: Hi, I'm Joan. I'm your maid for the week.
Peter: Me, Peter. You, maid.
Joan: Um, I do speak English.
Peter: You, maid, clean for me, Peter. You clean Peter mess.
Lois: Peter, stop it!

(Peter and some children ride on the great space coaster for 7 years)
Peter: Well, we are officially lost.
Ricky: On the great space co -
Peter: Shut up, Ricky. Just shut up. Unless the next words out of your mouth are directions back to the fish skeleton, I'm going to punch you right in the stomache.

Stewie: By the way, you call those cheap implants boobs? Those aren't boobs. They're lies!

Peter: (on Wheel of Fortune) I'll take a Z........a 4.......a Q......another Q.........a third Q........and a batman symbol.

Death: Sorry I'm late, I had a meeting over at NBC about Joey.

Peter: Hey Lois... what's this word?
Lois: Evil.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Knievel.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Was.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Born.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: In.
Peter: And this one?
Lois: Montana.
Peter: Ah... oh, hey Lois did you know Evil Knievel was born in Montana?

(Looking at Peter's butt as he's bent over in the Daisy Duke outfit)
Brian: It's like a walrus flossing!

Peter: (To Joan) You know, ninjas in wheelchairs, nazi's, and robots come get ya and dinosars eat the remains, you've seen the news.

Peter: (Slowly, to maid) Hi.
Maid: I speak english, you know.
Peter: (Slowly) up.......Peter....mess.

Quagmire: Giggity-giggity-giggity... God, I made a terrible mistake!

Quagmire: Cleveland, how did you end your marraige?
Cleveland: You slept with my wife.

Stewie: Okay, whip them out woman! It's time for the afternoon meal!

Episode Goofs
Lois gives Stewie formula in subsitution for breast milk. But formula isn't for 1 year olds, it's meant for babies much younger.

Brian's tag is missing when he's sitting on the couch right before Lois comes in and shows where Stewie bit her breast.

Cultural References
Chinese Guys with Yellow Jackets

When Peter is riding the maid and is challenged by two chinese men in yellow jackets; this is a reference to the movie Better Off Dead, where the same situation happened to the main character several times.

Planet of the Apes

When Adam West see's the giant foot of the Statue of Liberty and yells his dialogue; this is a reference to the movie the Planet of the Apes, where there was a similar scene at the end of the movie.

Jurassic Park

Peter's tune and act out of Quagmire being eaten by a giant dinosaur are both direct references to the Jurassic Park movies.


Peter's show "Tomahawk'd" (in which he hits random people with Tomohawks) is a spoof of Ashton Kutcher's show Punk'd.

The Great Space Coaster

Peter's ride through space is a reference to the TV show The Great Space Coaster.

Stewie: That's more disgusting than when Peter went through that Daisy Duke phase!

Daisy Duke was a character on of the show The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985) who popularized the fashion trend of very short cut off shorts named "Daisy Dukes"

Aluded Movies: Lord of The Rings, Beauty and the Beast, Lady and the Tramp and Alladin.

Mr. Mxyzptlk

Adam West gets Alex Trebek to say his name backwards sending him to the "fifth dimension". This was also the way Superman defeated one of his enemies, Mr. Mxyzptlk.

Woody the Woodpecker

Several things Quagmire does in this episode are direct references to Woody the Woodpecker. Such as carving his name in the wall.

Episode References
It's been a running joke lately that Quagmire attach something to the end of "Giggity-Giggity-Giggity". In this episode it was "Giggity-Giggity-Giggity...God!". In previous episodes we have heard "Giggity-Giggity-Giggity...Gone!". And so on and so forth.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
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