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Family Guy :: Petergeist (04x26)

 
Episode Information
 
Title: Petergeist
Episode #: 04x26
Production Number: 4ACX29
Original Airdate: Sunday May 07th, 2006
9.7/10 (3 Votes cast)
Other Release Dates: (Edit)
Country: Aired On:
UK (BBC THREE) Feb 13, 2007
Episode Crew
Director: Sarah Frost
Writer: Alec Sulkin
Wellesley Wild
 
Episode Summary
 
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When Peter tries to build a multiplex in their backyard in order to top Joe's new home theater system, he discovers an ancient Indian burial ground. The family warns him not to mess with any of the grounds ancient remains, but Peter does not fall into the superstition and takes out the Indian chief's skull. The house soon shows signs of being haunted, and when Stewie gets sucked into the TV, they are sure of it. However, this is only the beginning of their problems.
 
There are no foreign summaries for this episode: Contribute
 
Guest Stars
 
Guest Stars
Adam CarollavoicedDeathRecurring (7th appearance)
Danny Smith (6)voicedPaulieRecurring (44th appearance)
John VienervoicedRocky / John TravoltaRecurring (16th appearance)
Johnny Brennan (1)voicedMortRecurring (16th appearance)
Lori Alan (1)voicedDiane SimmonsRecurring (33rd appearance)
Patrick WarburtonvoicedJoe SwansonRecurring (40th appearance)
Jim J. Bullock (1)voicedHimself 
Scott "Carrot Top" ThompsonvoicedHimself 
 
Main Cast
 
Seth MacFarlanevoicedPeter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glen Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Jake Tucker, Carter Pewterschmidt, Kevin Swanson, Seamus, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Jasper, God, Jesus, Various
Alex BorsteinvoicedLois Griffin, Loretta Brown, Tricia Takanawa, Barbara Pewterschmidt, Various
Seth GreenvoicedChris Griffin, Neil Goldman, Dylan (Brian's son), Various
Mila KunisvoicedMeg Griffin
Mike Henry (1)voicedCleveland Brown, Herbert, Bruce, Fouad, Cleveland Jr., Greased Up Deaf Guy (Jay), Various
 
Featured Songs
 
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
The Oak Ridge BoysElvira 
 
Episode Quotes
 
(Intro Music)
TV Announcer: We now return to JAG
Mac: Harm, I found that evidence we need. Now we can finally clear the chief petty officer of all charges... oh what's the point does anybody even watch this show?
Harm: Well yeah, old people. They don't really pay attention, they just like the noise and the company.
(Looking into camera) Hey how ya doing? How's that hip doing there? Remember the 40's?
(Doorbell rings)
Cleveland: Hey everybody, I'm just here to let ya'll know that movie night's been moved to Joe's place.
Peter: What!? But we always do it here. Movie night at the Griffin house is a tradition.
Cleveland: Yeah but Joe just finished putting in his new home theater. It's gonna be tight ya'll!
 
{The Swanson's House}
Lois: Oh my god Joe how did you do this?
Joe: I built it myself with supplies I got at the Home Supply downtown.
(whispering) Peter: Between you and me I hear Joe's got a little free time these days. I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months
Joe: Peter, you just whispered that to me.
Peter: Shhh here he is... Joe what a great job you've done here
Joe: Alright, let's get this started.
Female Voice: Thank you for choosing Joe Swanson Theaters
(Joe's version of the TriStar Logo with Joe replacing the horse)
(Preview of Rocky VI)
Adrian: Rocky, please don't go to Mars and fight the martians.
Rocky: I gottado what I gottado
Adrian: But there's no oxygen on Mars.
Rocky: Yeah, that means there's no oxygen for him neither. That martian wants a fight he'll get a fight.
Adrian: Ya can't win Rock, you're 60 years old!
Paulie?: Hey look what Rocky bought me with his money
 
Peter: Joe with his home theater has to top everything I do. Well tomorrow I'm gonna go to that Home Supply and I'm gonna build an entire mutiplex.
Lois: Well let's just hope it looks better then that balcony you built.
{Griffin living room}
Peter: Boy that was a great episode of Lost wasn't it fellas?
Waldor: Well at least the show's got the right name
Statler: Yeah I couldn't follow any of it
(Both laugh)
Peter: HeHeHeHe They don't care for most things.
 
{At Home Supply}
Male Employee: Can I help you?
Peter: Yeah, I hate my neighbor and I wanna build something crazy outta spite.
Male Employee: Well I take to our one-upmanship ailse.
Peter: Yeah, this place has everything. I bet you could even get one of those gay mailboxes.
Gay Mailbox: Hello, Hello right here, just go ahead and put that right in here. num num num Gulp, just kidding.
Mayor West: Uh pardon me, I just bought a rotwieller and I need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is.
Female Employee: Well we have exactly what...
Mayor West: Ahhh yes, here it is 'One Way', so people will know if they step into my yard, there's only one way out. In a body bag... from dog injuries. Good day maam.
 
{In Griffin backyard}
Peter: This'll teach Joe to steal my movie night. I'm going to have my own multiplex theater. I haven't been this excited since I learned how to speak braille.
(Sitting with a blind guy in the park) Peter: Hey bump, bump, no bump, bump, three vertical bumps, four bumps and a square.
Blind Guy: HaHaHaHa Yeah I've heard they all look alike
{Griffin back yard}
Peter: Hey look what I found.
Brian: Wow authentic Native American remains. Peter I'd put that back if I were you, you may be disturbing an ancient burial site.
Peter: Hey look it's Robin Willaims, blah blah blah blah black preacher voice blah blah blah gay Elmer Fudd
Chris: HaHaHaHa the more you hear it the funnier it gets
 
{Griffin dining room}
Peter: Want some more peas Chief Diamond Phillips?
Brian: Peter I really think you should put that back where you found it.
Peter: You know Brian I really don't think you should breast feed the skull.
Brian: Uh, I'm not breast feeding...
Peter: Alright fine, god you're pushy, suck suck suck suck
Brian: HEY HEY Cut it out!
Peter: No I'm Brian I'm proving sustenance, look at me I'm breast feeding in public even though it's wrong.

{Griffin Bedroom}
TV Announcer: And now back to 1943's 'Fast Talking High Trousers'.
Man #1: Well isn't this a fine song and dance
Man #2: What are you getting so hot about
Man #1: Keep your shirt on
Man #2: Where do you get off making remarks like that?
Man #1: Supposin' I say you're a lunk head?
Man #2: Well I ain't much for supposin'
Man #1: Well supposin' you were
Man #2: Well maybe I'm through supposin' and fix to start figurin'
Man #1: Aw horseradish
Man #2: Well aren't you a pocket full of firecrackers
Man #1: Oh yeah, you got something to say about it?
Man #2: I'll say plenty
Peter: I can't wait to see the expression on Joe's legs when I open my multiplex.
Lois: I have to say I'm a little concerned about the zoning... Peter, are you peeing in that skull?
Peter: No Lois! I'm getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom and doing it there...Pain in the ass.

(On TV) Tom Tucker: This concludes our broadcast day. The only time of the day I get to try out my Fred Schneider B52's voice.
Now-Try-To-Get-Some-Sleep-Out-There
Not bad, getting better. (TV cuts to static)
(Stewie wakes and walks to Peter and Lois' bedroom, sits in front of TV)
Stewie: Yeah.
Uh huh.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh you didn't see it. Ross and Rachel got back together it wasn't that great.
(Ghostly hand reaches from tv, enters wall and causes room to shake)
Peter: Holy crap!
Brian: What the hell was that!
Lois: Stewie? What are you doing?
Stewie: They're heeeere
Brian: Who's here?
Stewie: The TV people.
(turns back to the TV) What?
No they did a spin off, he's still playing Joey but uhhhh, not doing so well.

 
{The Griffin kitchen}
Brian: Uh Lois, have you noticed some spooky things going on ever since Peter brought that skull into the house
Lois: No what are you talking about?
Brian: Well like the whole business last night with the tv, I'm just saying, maybe we have a poltergeist.
Lois: Brian, there's no such things as ghosts, it's all *gasps*
(Chairs and fridge are stacked on the kitchen table)
Oh, I must have accidentally stacked all those thing upside down and then just forgot about it. yeah, that's probably what happened.
Brian: I haven't seen this much denial since John Travolta married Kelly Preston.
{Cut to John and Kelly's wedding day}
Priest: John do you take Kelly to be your wife?
John: I totally do I mean yeah yes absolutely and I'm going to do stuff to her too, like touch her?
(Kelly shakes her head yes)
Yeah, touch her and uh, kiss her?
(Kelly shakes her head yes)
And touch her penis
(Kelly shakes her head no)
I mean no not that, not that.
 
{Stewie's bedroom}
Stewie: Ok Ok try to think of a happy place to be happy place, um okay I'm on the MTV's Jackass.

Okay, I'm Stewie Griffin and I'm going to be kicking my dad's ass all day today
(Stewie enters the bathroom and beats on Peter who's sitting on the toilet)
Peter: Ah! Ah What the hell! Stewie... stop! Knock it off!
(Stewie leaves bathroom)
Come on! Come on Stewie, you're acting crazy out there man.
{Stewie's bed}
Stewie: AHHHH!
(The contents of Stewie's room start to enter the closet)
I haven't seen anything suck this much since I Heart Huckabees!

{The bathroom}
(Peter looks into mirror and starts to rip his flesh off revealing 'King of the Hill' Hank Hill)
Peter: HeHeHeHeHe Propane.

{Chris' Room}
Chris: Oh I wish that scary looking clown at the end of my bed would go away
(Ronald McDonald makes the 'M' logo)
AAGGHHHHH! (Tree smashes window and drags Chris out)
(speaking to tree monster) Herbert: Hey skinny britches. That there's my man, why don't you pick on someone your own size!
(Tree tosses Chris aside and fights w/ Herbert)
You shall not pass!
(Herbert and the tree monster fall in a deep cavern ala The Lord of the Rings)

{Stewie's room}
Lois: Stewie? Oh my god Stewie honey, where are you?
{Griffin bedroom}
Peter I can't find him anywhere!
(from the TV) Stewie: Mommy
Lois: Stewie! Where are you?
Stewie: Look behind you you stupid cow!
Lois: Stewie, oh my god what's happening?
Stewie: Oh wait... hold on a second I want to try something.
I remember,
I remember don't worry worry
How could I ever forget the hurt doesn't show
but the pain still grows
no stranger to you and me
 
{Griffin dining room}
Lois: Thank you for coming, we've never hired a spiritual medium before but I'll do anything to get my baby back
Brian: You know Peter, we wouldn't have to messing around with ghosts if you hadn't of desecrated those Indian remains.
Peter: Probably a bad time to mention I'm wearing the skull as an athletic cup.
Bruce: Okay, let's talk to some spirts.
Hey how ya'll ghosts doing? Ya'll got a little friend of ours named Stewart up there. We was just wondering if you could send him back?
Uh huh.
Well yes but I...
Well I don't see how that's anybody's business but my own.
Well how bout you and my father go hang out at the gun range some afternoon and you can spend the whole day just agreeing with each other.
Lois: What are they saying, is my baby alright?
Bruce: They said that your baby entered their world through the closet upstairs and the exit is, well I don't know how else to say this, but the exit is your daughter's bum
Chris: Meg's ass!
 
{Stewie's room}
Peter: You ready down there?
Lois: Okay Meg, if this works we might just have a chance of getting Stewie back. Are you ready?
Meg: No
Lois: Ready!
Peter: Okay here we go (throws baseball into closet)
(baseball exits Meg's butt)
Lois: Got it!
Chris: Cool! Assball!
Lois: Peter it worked! We found the portal to the other side.
(A golf ball exits Meg's butt) Meg: AHHH!
Lois: Peter what the hell are you doing up there?
Peter: We're going to get those terrorists now watch this drive
Lois: Stewie, Stewie if you can hear me head for Meg's butt
Stewie: Have you lost your mind?!
(from upstairs) Peter: Hey Lois, get ready to laugh, get ready to laugh
(Peter's head sticks out of Meg's butt) Peter: Gee must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque
 
{Griffin living room}
Lois: Are you sure Stewie can find his way out?
Bruce: We've just got to be patient Lois, like waiting on the results of a blood test, a real important blood test.
Chris: Will I ever see my baby brother again?
Bruce: Only if he can find his way into the light Chris. For some people it's easier then others, some people just get lost on the way to the light.
They're walking along and stop and say oohh is that a new restaurant, that place must have just opened up because I remember there was another place there a few weeks ago.
I went in there once and there was a guy with a hair lip eating soup and I was like eewwww, it wasn't the restaurants's fault I know but I still never went back there.
I mean I guess there only like 1 in 50 chance of me getting the same spoon that he had but I still don't like them odds.

Lois: Oh I can't bare this any more, if Stewie can't find his way out of Meg's ass we have to enter the other realm and get him ourselves.
Bruce: Lois I told you it ain't safe
Peter: I'll tell you what's not safe, going hunting with Dick Chaney.
{Cut to the woods with Peter & Dick}
Peter: So, you all set to go hunting?
(Dick shoots Peter 10 times)
Dick: Sorry, I thought you were a deer

{Stewie's bedroom}
Peter: Be careful Lois
Lois: I will Peter
(Lois enters Stewie's closet)
Meg: I don't feel anything!
Peter: Now she knows how I felt when I was at her piano recital (laughs with Chris)
No, no you're doing fine Meg.
(Lois and Stewie exit Meg's butt)
Lois: Stewie! You're alright
Peter: Oh thank god you guys are ewww you're covered in slime.
Stewie: This must be how Tom Arnold felt on his wedding night.
(Meg screams as ghosts emerge from her butt)
Peter: Holy crap, let's get out of here!
(in the car)
Lois: Wait a minute, where's Meg?
Brian: I don't know
Stewie: I didn't see her
Chris: Yeah I kinda thought you guys would attend to that
Lois: Peter you got to go back and get her
Peter: Oh yeah right like I'm going back for Meg
Lois: Peter!
Peter: Lois damn it we both agreed remember, if we could only save 2 we'd leave Meg.
Lois: I know but...
Meg: You Bastard! How could you leave me in there?
Peter: Okay see it resolved itself
Oh I forgot one thing (Peter throws skull in the trash)
(Griffin house implodes)

 
{Quahog 5 News Special Report}
Tom: A bit of breaking news, a local family was forced out of their home by ghosts. Who they gonna call?
Dianne: Ghostbusters Tom?
Tom: No Dianne, their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
And now, back to Disney's too many ostriches starring Don Knotts
Don: There's way too many ostriches, why are there so many ostriches? The brochure said there'd only be a few ostriches. This is a terrible vacation.
 
{At Quagmire's door}
(Peter knocks)
Brian: So, what was it like on the other side?
Stewie: Well, I met Jesus up there.
Brian: Wow, what's he like?
Stewie: Uh, believe it or not, he's Chinese.
Brian: Really?
Stewie: Yup, Jesus is Chinese. In fact his last name is 'Hong'. 'Jesus Hong'. He says he has no idea where people are getting 'Christ'.
(Glen opens the door wearing a diaper, pacifier & bonnet)
Peter: Quagmire you gotta help us, we pissed off a bunch of ghosts and now our house is gone and we got no place to stay.
Glen: Uh... Peter this is not the best time.
(Woman's voice from inside) Woman: Glen are you coming?
Glen: Yeah, honey I'll be right there Whaa Whaa I'll be right there. Peter I'm really slammed right now, can you give me the short version.
Peter: Uh, what uh... what's going on in there?
Glen: Nothing.
(Inside a woman exits the bedroom riding a donkey wearing a powdered wig followed by a naked man driving a tractor)
Glen: So uh, as you can see my family's here and uh, it's game night. We're playing... sex.
(Glen slams the door)

{At Quahog Soup Kitchen}
Meg: Ugh, a soup kitchen dad? Isn't there any other place we can go?
Peter: We're homeless Meg, this is where homeless people go.
Brian: Well it'll just be good to get some food in us.
Woman: Hi and welcome to the soup kitchen. I'll just start you off with a basket of pizza crusts and apple cores.
Oh and we do have one special today, it's an avocado pit with a little bit of avocado still on it and that comes on a ripped pair of boxer shorts.
Peter: Now I'm trying to decide between the tossed spaghetti on a newspaper & the half yogurt with a balled up tissue in it
 
{Quahog Public Library}
Peter: Hi there, do you have books on how to get rid of ghosts?
Librarian: Have you tried telling them you're ready for a commitment *laughs*
Stewie: Oooohhh like a relationship
Librarian: Exactly, that'll send them running huh?
Stewie: I like her
Librarian: Here you go, maybe this'll help
(Librarian gives a book titled 'A Guide to the Occult' by Beverly Cleary)
Brian: Alright, here it is. To vanquish poltergeists one must restore all disturbed remains to their original resting places
Lois: So all we gotta do is bring the skull back home and bury it
(Brian walks to Peter and grabs his crotch)
Peter: What are you doing?
Brian: You said you were using the skull as an athletic cup
Peter: I was but don't you remember I threw it in the garbage
Brian: Oh. So, you're not wearing it now.
Peter: No, that's pretty much just me you're grabbing
Chris: That's how my old scout master shakes hands
 
{At City Dump}
(Brian rolling in garbage)
Stewie: Ewww that is vile
Brian: I know I hate myself but it's so good
Man: Can I help you folks find something?
Peter: No we're just browsing. God I hate it when the pester you like that.
Lois: Peter! Yes we need help
We're looking for a skull that my husband threw away
Man: A skull? Well you want the human remains bin but I should warn you folks, we're pretty cleaned out right now cause Carrot Top comes by every morning to rummage for new props.
Peter: Well we'll just have to pay this Carrot Top a visit.
Chris: He's funny, except for that one show he did in Ohio after the airline lost his luggage.

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman Carrot Top
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: : Alright, you guys look like a good crowd.
I hope it goes well cause I don't have my prop trunk, I normally have a case with all my little props and gadgets and whatnot but it's okay you can use your imagination.
Like maybe a piece of luggage that shoots dog biscuits, so if you had weed in your bag and you went to the airport you can shoot the dog biscuits out and the drug dog would go away from your bag.
You could imagine the dog barking... man it's a lot funnier if I had my prop.

{Griffins arrive at Carrot Top's house}
Lois: Well there it is, Carrot Top Manor
(Griffins enter home)
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: So you having a good time there Chief Diamond Phillips?
Peter: Oh hey that's funny he came up with the same thing... alright Carrot Top I want that skull
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: Who the hell are you?
Peter: I'm Peter Griffin and that skull belongs to me
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: Well it's hardly just a skull Mr. Griffin. I put it on my head and it's a skull cap
(Peter laughs)
Put it with David Ducovney and it's agent Skully
(Peter laughs) Peter: You gotta appreciate that... hey don't distract me now hand it over Mr. Top!
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: Very well Mr. Griffin I'll give you the skull but you have to catch me first
(Peter chases Carrot Top into a hall of mirrors)
Looks like you found me Mr. Griffin, but which one of is the real king of prop comedy and not just an illusion huh?
That's right Mr. Griffin, just a little further
(Peter falls through a trap door)
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: HaHaHa Sucker
(Peter grabs Carrot Top from behind)
What the hell?! How'd you get through the trap door?
Peter: I found the saw with glasses on it.
Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson: Oh that's my see saw
(Peter laughs) Peter: Oh my god, oh my god you are so f__king funny, you are so funny, F__k you for being so funny, oh my god, you know what here, keep it keep it you deserve it. just take it.
Naa Naa, I need it, I need it.
 
{In the Griffin back yard}
Peter: Well chief, it's time for you go back where you came from
(Peter reburies the skull & the Griffin house returns from the void)
Lois: Peter you did it
(The Griffin house reenters the void)
Lois: What the hell?!
Peter: HeHeHeHeHe (Pokes the skull eye sockets with his fingers)
(Lois knocks the skull back in the hole & the house returns again from the void)
Lois: Oh Peter I'm so proud of you. Once again you brought our family to the edge of the abyss and at the very last minute you saved us all. I love you honey.
Peter: And I've grown fond of you Lois, Let's go home.
(Lois rolls the TV outside the front door)
(Peter brings the TV back in and puts Meg out)

 
 
Cultural References
 
Poltergeist

The title, and basic plot of the episode is an obvious spoof of the 1980 movie Poltergeist. Some of the more obvious references would be Stewie being trapped in the TV, the meat coming out of Peter's face, the tree attacking Chris, and many more.
 
King of the Hill

When looking into the mirror Peter's head reshapes to look like another person. He then says "heh, propane". The person he reshaped into was Hank Hill, from King of the Hill.
 
McDonalds

Chris says "I wish that scary clown at the end of my bed would go away". The scene then switches down to show a clown, who makes a yellow "M" with his fingers. The clown they are showing is obviously Ronald McDonald, the yellow "M" he makes in the infamous McDonald's trademark.
 
Statlor & Waldor

The men in the balcony Peter built are from The Muppet Show.
They would sit in a private box and harshy critique the show but mainly heckle Fozzie Bear.
 
Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

The scene where Herbert (the creepy old man) fights the tree into the demon world is an obvious spoof of a scene from the famous movie the Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring.
 
 
Other Episode Crew
 
CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
 
 
Episode Notes
 
 
 
Episode Goofs
 
 
 
Episode References
 
 
 
Analysis
 
 

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