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Family Guy: Prick Up Your Ears

When Lois starts teaching sex-ed at Chris' school, parents become upset with her uncomfortable honesty. She is replaced with a conservative christian who has all of the condoms removed from James Woods High, but the kids find an interesting loophole. Meanwhile, Stewie sets up a trap to destroy the Tooth Fairy after he loses his first tooth.

Episode Info

Episode number: 5x6
Production Number: 5ACX01
Airdate: Sunday November 19th, 2006

  • Currently 8.8/10
8.8/10 (4 Votes cast)
Guest Stars
Drew BarrymoreDrew Barrymore
voiced Jillian
Gary ColeGary Cole
voiced Various
John VienerJohn Viener
voiced Various
David CrossDavid Cross
voiced Jerry Kirkwood
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glen Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Jake Tucker, Carter Pewterschmidt, Kevin Swanson, Seamus, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Jasper, God, Jesus, Various
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin, Loretta Brown, Tricia Takanawa, Barbara Pewterschmidt, Various
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Chris Griffin, Neil Goldman, Various
Mila KunisMila Kunis
voiced Meg Griffin
Mike HenryMike Henry
voiced Cleveland Brown, Herbert, Bruce, Fouad, Cleveland Jr., Greased Up Deaf Guy (Jay), Various
Episode Notes
List of Family Guy characters waiting in line to hit Stewie: Cleveland with a wrench, Mayor Adam West with a machine gun, Herbert (the creepy old guy) with a revolver, the Evil Monkey with a bat, Dr. Hartman with a knife, and The Kool-Aid Guy wearing boxing gloves.

Censorship: The following scenes that are shown uncut on Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" line-up and the season five DVD set have been edited/altered on the FOX version:

1) The scene where Peter vows to be abstinent--The FOX version has a brief scene where Peter keeps mispronouncing "abstinent" as "absinthe" and "obstinent" with Meg correcting him. On Cartoon Network and the DVD version, Peter says he'll be "as untouched as the turn signal on an Asian woman's car", followed by a cutaway of an Asian woman causing an accident on an eight-lane highway.

2) The scene where Lois dresses up as Grimace--On the FOX version, Peter calls Grimace "Ronald McDonald's autistic friend". On the Cartoon Network and DVD version, Peter calls Grimace "Ronald McDonald's retarded friend"

3) When Brian complains about the jelly in his sandwich, Peter yells, "It's been on my penis" on the Cartoon Network and DVD version. On the FOX version, he yells, "It's been on my crotch."

4) The scene where Peter has ear sex with Lois--On the FOX version, the screen goes black and Lois yells, "Peter, get off my ear!" followed by a shoving sound, then the lights go up and a naked Peter is shown on the floor. On the Cartoon Network and DVD version, Lois yells, "What the hell are you doing? Peter!" and turns the light on, revealing a naked Peter hunched over Lois's head with his crotch in her ear.

Episode Quotes
Peter: (to a group of drug addicts) There's a lot of ways for you guys to save money. For example, you're all shootin' up, why not share needles? That's a no brainer. More money in your wallet, more drugs in your veins. My second piece of advice, have as many kids as you can, 'cuz that makes it more likely that one of those kids'll grow up an make it big in Hollywood. Then who's payin' the bills huh? Hollywood Kid. Class dismissed.

Stewie: Alright men your mission tonight is to stave off the invading forces of the Tooth Fairy. SpongeBob you watch the east, StarScream you take the west, and Man-E-Faces you take center patrol since you have many faces.

Peter: Hey, uh Lois, I wanted to get KY Jelly for the class today, but they were all out, so I got Smuckers.

Young Michael Jackson: The kid in me likes the frosted side.
Adult Michael Jackson: But the grown-up in me likes the kid in me.

Rev. Kirkwood: Sure, sex is fun, but you can't have it before you're married, even if you use a condom. Because not only do condoms fail one hundred percent of the time, they're also majorly unsafe. Hey, you wouldn't put a plastic bag over your grandmother's head would you?

Tom Tucker: In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High.
Diane Simmons: That's right Tom, it appears that students have taken to having ear sex, in lieu of traditional intercourse.
Tom Tucker: Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf".

Mayor Adam West: Pizza delivery man, prepare to meet your maker, at the hands of my cat launcher

Lois: Look Meg, A, ear sex is just unnatural, and B, how do I say this, vaginal intercourse is...it...it's just tops! It's the bee's knees, Meg. Oh, when your rattle it around just right, oh my god! I mean, you remember when we had that old car with the bad shocks, and I used to take the old dirt road on purpose?! Meg...Meg?
(Meg is gone; Brian is in the doorway)
Brian: I love you.

TV Announcer: We now return to Laguna Beach.
Girl 1: Like right?
Girl 2: I know!
Girl 3: Whatever because, duh!
Girl 2: I know, right?
Girl 1: Whatever, because I mean, like, totally, full out.
Girl 2: Full on.
Girl 3: Right?
(Peter watching TV)
Peter: I guess it's not easy growing up anywhere.

Brian: Hey, my sandwich tastes funny. Is there something wrong with the Smuckers?
Peter: (from another room) Yeah, its been on my crotch.

Peter: (Reading from Meg's pamphlet) If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it. (pauses) Well that's something I'd like to avoid.

Lois: Peter, what the hell is this?
Peter: My chastity belt.
Lois: A chastity belt? What in God's name is that for?
Peter: I'm abstinent Lois, it's all in these pamphlets Meg brought home from school. Sex turns straight people gay, and Gays into Mexicans, everyone goes down a notch!

Episode Goofs
When Brian walks in Stewie's room the trap is set and he is tied upside down to the ceiling by his legs. Stewie cuts down the rope, but after Brian hits the floor the rope that was around his legs (which Stewie never cut off) is missing.

Cultural References
Rainbow Brite & Shakespeare

The doll Peter takes out during the sex education class is in fact a Rainbow Brite doll. Rainbow Brite is an old kids TV show about a young nature loving girl. The statue head he takes out is Shakespeare, a classic poet.

Lois: I'm gonna steal your burgers!

The big purple blob Lois dresses up as for Peter is the Grimace from the old McDonald's mascot group. The Grimace was a good friend of Ronald McDonald. In recent years, however, the Grimace and the rest of the McDonald's mascot group (with the exception of Ronald McDonald) have been replaced with the new "I'm Lovin' It" advertising campaign.


When Peter is the block character in the game; the game is in fact Tetris. An older video game still popular today.

TV Announcer: We now return to Laguna Beach.

Laguna Beach is a reality TV show on MTV following a group of teenagers as they grow up, and move on through High School in Laguna Beach, California.

Stewie: Alright men your mission tonight is to stave off the invading forces of the Tooth Fairy. SpongeBob you watch the east, StarScream you take the west, and Man-E-Faces you take center patrol since you have many faces.

Stewie's army of toys consists of Starscream from Transformers, SpongeBob from SpongeBob SquarePants, and Man-E-Faces from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

Tom Tucker: Once you go Black, you go deaf.

A play on the phrase "Once you go Black, you never go back."


The scene where everyone is lining up to hit Stewie (see notes section) is a reference to a scene from the movie Airplane!.

Knight Rider

The scene with the car driving forward in the purple desert background that plays after Lois gets fired is a reference to the show Knight Rider.

Peter: Hey, uh Lois, I wanted to get KY Jelly for the class today, but they were all out, so I got Smuckers.

KY Jelly is a name brand of personal lubricant; Smuckers is a brand of jelly.

Young Michael Jackson: The kid in me likes the frosted side.
Adult Michael Jackson: But the grown-up in me likes the kid in me.

A reference to the old Frosted Mini-Wheat cereal comercials in which an adult sitting in a chair eating the cereal would say something along the lines of "The adult in me likes the wheat side", and then the adult would change into a little kid in adults clothes who would then say "but the kid in me likes the frosted side!".

The Michael Jackson (1958-2009) angle is referring to his legal battles in which he was accused of sexually molesting several young boys.

Chris:...Genital Hospital.

The name of the porno Chris and his friends watch (Genital Hospital) is a play on the title of the soap opera, General Hosptial.

Fisher Price Little People

Stewie plays with the original 70's style version of Little People

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
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