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Family Guy: Chick Cancer

Stewie reunites with his old flame Olivia and the two decide to get married. However, their relationship soon begins to dull out. Meanwhile, after Lois introduces Peter to "chick flicks" he decides to make his own.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 5x7
Production Number: 5ACX02
Airdate: Sunday November 26th, 2006

Guest Stars
Adam WestAdam West
voiced Mayor Adam West
Alec SulkinAlec Sulkin
voiced Various
Alex BreckenridgeAlex Breckenridge
voiced Various
Danny Smith (1)Danny Smith (1)
voiced Various
Dave BoatDave Boat
voiced Richard Gere
Drew BarrymoreDrew Barrymore
voiced Jillian
Jeff BergmanJeff Bergman
voiced Various
John VienerJohn Viener
voiced Various
Johnny Brennan (1)Johnny Brennan (1)
voiced Various
Lori AlanLori Alan
voiced Diane Simmons
Patrick WarburtonPatrick Warburton
voiced Joe Swanson
Rachael MacFarlaneRachael MacFarlane
voiced Olivia
Stacey ScowleyStacey Scowley
voiced Various
Lizzy CaplanLizzy Caplan
voiced Various
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Various Characters
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin | Various Characters
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Chris Griffin | Various Characters
Mila KunisMila Kunis
voiced Meg Griffin
Mike Henry (1)Mike Henry (1)
voiced Cleveland Brown | Various Characters
Episode Notes
Rachael MacFarlane reprises her role as Olivia for the first time since "From Method to Madness".

Olivia's "hit" commercial was apparently for a brand of juice called "Tasty Juice". Their motto being: "Tasty Juice: Drink it, then convert it to pee.".

Brian's girlfriend, Jillian (voiced by Drew Barrymore), appears once again in this episode (apparently Brian still has not broken up with her). It is also revealed that she has an eating disorder.

Although it is uncertain, it is possible that Olivia died at the end of the episode.

Censorship: During Peter's "Steel Vaginas" movie, Peter says that Vageena Hurtz (Lois) died of an "angry hymen" on the TV version (both network TV and cable versions). On the DVD, Vageena Hurtz's cause of death is "a rotten vagina".

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
RushTom Sawyer 

Episode Quotes
Tom Tucker: Coming up, a New Orleans man says his socks are finally dry.

Brian: So what happened?
Stewie: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian, what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like, why can't you just hang out with guys, you know, just live with someone of your own sex, just do what you would do with women, but with your buddy? You know wha...why don't guys just do that?
Brian: They do, it's called being gay.
Stewie: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh, yeah, I could totally get into that.

Peter: Lois, I'm just warning you, if this movie turns me gay, I'm gonna start bringin' gay guys home. And I don't mean the classy "maybe they are, maybe they're not" gay guys, I mean those big "Oh my God, here they come, floatin' around, makin' noise" gay guys, not the fix up your house gay guys.

Stewie: Sorry we're late everyone, but JonBenét here took forever with her make-up.
Olivia: Ah yes, and we probably would've shaved a few minutes off our trip, but Mr. Cheap-O here refused to let the valet touch his Big Wheels, so we had to drive around the block six times till' we could find a spot, but to his credit it's a great spot to get mugged.
Stewie: Oh wouldn't that be a shame, if they took all my money in both our wallets.

Brian: (talking to himself in the mirror) There we go, you are ready for your date. (Ruffles up his hair) Yeah, that's a bed head, yeah. Hey, look at you, you just got out of bed. You're the underachiever every woman wants to sleep with.

Stewie: So, uh, what's for dinner?
Olivia: Play-Doh spaghetti.
Stewie: (pauses) Oh..
Olivia: What?
Stewie: No, no, it''s nothing, just had Play-Doh spaghetti last night, (pauses; under his breath) and that's all we had last night.
Olivia: What does that mean?!
Stewie: Oh, I don't know Olivia, uh maybe that we are in a sex-less marriage, we have yet to have sex.
Olivia: Do you even know what sex is?
Stewie: That's not the point! (Befuddled) Don't change the!'s a kind of cake...

(A naked woman covering herself with a bed sheet runs out onto Quagmire's lawn; Quagmire stands in the doorway in his underwear)
Woman: I am not doing that Glen!
Quagmire: Oh, come on beautiful, keep an open mind.
Woman: You're a sick man!
Quagmire: Hey! Keep it down, I don't want my neighbors seeing a fat, old, dirty whore screaming at me on my front lawn.
Woman: Whore? Well maybe I should come inside.
Quagmire: Well maybe you should.

Stewie: I mean, what kind of a man would I be if I ran off now?
Brian: Well, you would be a black man.
Stewie: Wow, wow, whoa, what was that?
Brian: Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that was my father talking.
Stewie: You uh, gotta work on that man. (Uncomfortably walks away)...bad dog.

Stewie: (Wearing Brian's hair on his chest; some of it sticks out of his diaper) Hey Baby!
Jillian: Hi Stewie!
Brian: What the hell are you doing?
Stewie: Eh, not much really. Just me and mah pubes, haaangin' out.
Brian: Oh dear God.
Stewie: Boy, I am so beat from doin' adult stuff all day.
Jillian: So am I.
Stewie: (leans back) I just feel like kickin' it tonight. (A pair of big fuzzy car dice fall out of the bottom of his diaper) Oh! Look at that, I'm growin' all the time.
Brian: Hey, uh, Jillian, can you give me a minute?
Stewie: Ya ever just let yer balls hang out B-ri? Ya ever do that B-roni? Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was Bry?

Brian: Stewie?
Stewie: Yeah?
Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: What?
Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: I know.
Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: (annoyed) I know.
Brian: No, Stewie, Stewie. It's not your fault.
Stewie: Don't do this to me man, not you man!
Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: Screw you, cut it out man!
Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: (starts crying) Why is it so hard? I didn't know it was going to be so hard.

Stewie: Hey babe, what do ya say, we goin' out Saturday night?
Olivia: Stewie, what are you doing here? I told you, I'm just into a different type of guy.
Stewie: Oh yeah? I'll tell you what you're into. Bein' ugly.
Olivia: (hurt) Stewie, you're being mean.
Stewie: No, if I was being mean, when you opened the door, I would have said "Oh, Hey Ray Liotta, is Olivia home? Oh wait, you're Olivia". You see, I thought you were Ray Liotta, because your skin has the texture of a decorative autumn squash. (Olivia starts crying) So, I'll pick you up at seven?
Olivia: (while crying) That sounds wonderful.

Peter: Alright Joe, let's lose the wheelchair and shoot this thing.
Joe: Peter, I can't lose the wheelchair, I need it to move.
Peter: Okay, yeah, but your character can walk.

Lois: Peter, have you been up all night watching chick movies?
Peter: Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis. Now they make me cry through my eyes.

Stewie: Well if you think I'm a baby, then perhaps I should act like a baby! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!
Man: (from another table) Hey can you keep that kid quiet?
Stewie: Oh, oh, oh, what's that? What's that sir? What's that, uh ,uh I'm, I'm sorry am I being too loud for you? You want to come over here and quiet me down?
Olivia: Stewie, let's not do this.
Brian: Oh God Stewie, come on.
Jillian: I'm scared.
Stewie: No, it's okay, it's okay. Sir, do you feel strong? You want to come over here?
Man: No, I want to stay here and have my steak!
Stewie: Oh yeah?!
Man: Yeah!
Stewie: What is that, the Porterhouse?!
Man: Yeah!
Stewie: How is it?!
Man: What do you care?!
Stewie: If we weren't fighting, would you recommend it?!
Man: Yeah, I would!
Stewie: (to the rest of the table) Well, I know what I'm getting.

Cultural References
Stewie: Look at that guy.

The scene where Stewie and Olivia make fun of people walking by in the park is a reference to a scene from the movie Annie Hall. The scene where they are under the bridge is a reference to (the movie) Manhattan. Both of these movies starred Woody Allen and Diane Keaton.

Chester Cheetah: It ain't easy being cheesy.

The scene with the tiger pouring out a bag of cheeto's and then snorting them is making fun of Chester Cheetah, the "mascott" for "Cheeto's", a brand of Cheese Doodle's. Chester is known for his crazy attitude in Cheeto's commercials, and even often really says the line: "It ain't easy being cheesy".

Stewie: Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was Bry?

Stewie's line is a spin off the line "Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry?" from the popular song American Pie.

Stewie: This is worse than the time I roomed with Q*Bert.

Stewie is referring to the 'old school' video game Q*Bert. The way the game is animated in the show is exactly the way it looks in real life. The objective of the game was to light up every square block on the pyramid without getting stopped.

Peter: I was the original Pretty Woman.

Peter is referring to the very popular 1990 movie Pretty Woman. The scene that follows with the man giving him the necklace is actually a real scene from the movie (re-animated, of course).

Brian: It's not your fault.
Stewie: What?
Brian: It's not your fault.

The scene where Brian keeps telling Stewie it's not his fault is taken directly (basically) line-by-line from the movie Good Will Hunting.

Rebel Pilot: You just kinda....called me out in there.

The scene where the Rebel Pilot (verbally) fights with Luke Skywalker is a spoof of a scene from Star Wars.

The music that plays after the fight is over is the theme music from the show Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Mister Ed

While making the 'chick flick', Peter tells Chris to go get peanut butter to put in Joe's mouth. This is what they did to the horse in the classic show Mister Ed to make it look like he was talking.

Tom Tucker: Coming up, a New Orleans man says his socks are finally dry.

Tom Tucker is referring Hurricane Katrina that struck New Orleans in August of 2005.

Episode References
Stewie: I mean, what kind of a man would I be if I ran off now?
Brian: Well, you'd be a black man.

Brian shows strong signs of uncontrolled racism again just like he did in "Don't Make Me Over".

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
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