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Family Guy
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| Title: | Barely Legal |
| Episode Number: | 88 |
| Season: | 5 |
| Season Episode #.: | 8 |
| Production Number: | 5ACX03 |
| Original Airdate: | Sunday December 17th, 2006 |
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Meg is having problems finding a date for her prom, and she needs some help, even though he is dating his girlfriend Jillian, he decides to go with Meg to the prom. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to get the night over, and ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her "Boyfriend" (even though he is of a different species) and begins to spend every moment with him. In the mean time, Peter, Quagmire and Cleaveland decide to join the Police Force.
| There are no foreign summaries for this episode
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| The following items fell out of Quagmire during his cavitiy search: (in order) Cellphone, doorknob, wedge of cheese, toy car, fish, Good Burger (movie), and a Xylophone.
| The text on Quagmire's shirt while he is at the police academy: "One In The Oven" (underneath the text was a large arrow pointing down).
| Meg's text message to Brian: "U R EZ 2 LUV. LOL, MEG" (You are easy to love. Lol, Meg).
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| Tom Tucker: Now let's go to Ollie Williams' Cooking Corner. What are you making, Ollie?
Ollie: Eggo!
| Stewie: Here she is, Brian I present to you your polish turd for the evening.
Meg: How do I look Brian?
Brian: Ahhh...you sure do Meg.
| (Peter is teaching a group of little boys to pick pocket)
Peter: All right boys, the best targets are old, rich people. There's one now. Go get him.
(The group of boys surround Herbert and begin searching him for money)
Herbert: Oh no, there's no police here to help me! I hope you don't find the money strapped to my thigh.
| Meg: Hi Jimmy, umm I heard you didn't have a date to the dance and I was wondering if you would like to go with me...?
Jimmy: Oh...uhhh...I...uhhh...h-hang on. (Jimmy closes the door and goes back inside; two gun shots are heard; he comes back out crying) I'd love to go Meg, but...(sniffs)...I have to go to my little brother's funeral that night.
| (Peter's giraffe breaks through Quagmire's window and starts licking him)
Quagmire: Oh, good morning honey. That feels really good. What...? Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell?! You're not the same giraffe from last night! Get out of here!
| Meg: (to Brian) I'm going to the mall later, (voice tone changes to more provocative) maybe you can come and help me pick out some underwear?
Brian: Uh, I don't think that's going to be a possibility...uh, I have...plans, um (Chris enters the room) with Chris! Chris and I, uh, have plans this afternoon.
Chris: We do?
Brian: Yeah, yeah we're doing that, thing. We're doing what you usually do on a Thursday afternoon.
Chris: Masturbate?
Brian: That's it, that's what we're going to do together.
Chris: Well, maybe back to back, but I got to tell ya, I'm not a hundred percent on this.
| Brian: Hello? Oh, hey Jillian, what's up?
Jillian: Brian, are you coming over to watch Laguna Beach tonight?
Brian: Uh, what time does it start?
Jillian: Ten o'clock, Eastern and Specific Time.
Brian: What? What did you say? Specific Time? Don't you mean Pacific Time?
Jillian: No, I think it's called Specific Time. Like it starts specifically at ten o'clock.
| Stewie: Oh, let me have some of that Cool Hwhip.
Brian: What'd you say?
Stewie: You can't have a pie without Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Hwhip?
Stewie: Cool Hwhip, yeah.
Brian: You mean Cool Whip.
Stewie: Yeah, Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
Brian: You're saying it weird. Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?
Stewie: What are you talking about? I'm just saying it. Cool Hwhip. You put Cool Hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Say whip.
Stewie: Whip.
Brian: Now say Cool Whip.
Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
Brian: Cool Whip.
Stewie: Cool Hwhip.
| Meg: Oh, just relax. We're going to be here for a hwhile.
Brian: Well, I don't know if... Wait. What?
Meg: We're going to be here for a hwhile.
Brian: A hwhile?
Meg: Yeah, a hwhile.
Brian: You mean a while.
Meg: A hwhile.
Brian: A while.
Meg: A hwhile.
Brian: A while.
Meg: A hwhile.
Brian: A while.
Meg: Brian, you're acting hweird.
Brian: Oh, come on! That one doesn't even have an H in it!
| Brian: (drunk) You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg: Brian, let's just go.
Brian: (drunk) No, no, no, no, no. Now hang on...hang on, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So, you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19, you're going to be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your step-dad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?
| Meg: We should totally be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Brian: Well, Meg, uh, you know what's strange? I think I might be gay. Um, I saw this penis on the Internet today and I thought to myself, "Well, that's...that's just fine".
| Lois: Oh Brian, it is so nice of you to do to take Meg to this dance. It really means a lot to her.
Brian: You got any weed?
Lois: I put some in your coat pocket.
| Stewie: (to Brian, about Meg) And FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length.
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| The giraffe that breaks through Quagmire's window has a pink tongue, however real giraffe's normally have a light blue, dark blue, or black tongue's. Although they occasionally have mixtures of pink and black, they are never fully pink.
| When Joe is spying on Bonnie getting dressed with binoculars he is looking through the front window of the Griffin's house. However, Joe and Bonnie live to the right of the Griffin's, so Joe would actually be looking at Quagmire's house.
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| Good Burger
A copy of the movie Good Burger falls out of Quagmire during his cavity search. Good Burger is a real movie starring Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell.
| Romancing The Stone
The movie Mayor West is seen watching is infact Romancing The Stone, a 1984 action-adventure/comedy-romance movie.
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| Cleveland: (Peter's giraffe crashes into Cleveland's house and completely shatters the front of it) What the hell? (His bathroom floor begins to tilt forward) No no no no no! (His bathtub slides down and smashes on the front lawn with him still in it) I got to stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans.
Cleveland is probably tired of this happening because something very similar happened to him in "Hell Comes to Quahog".
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