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Family Guy: Peter's Daughter

Peter starts to treat Megan with more respect and dignity after she was hurt in an accident and Stewie and Brian try their hand at house flipping.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 6x7
Production Number: 5ACX21
Airdate: Sunday November 25th, 2007

Director: Zac Moncrief
Writer: Chris Sheridan

Alternate Airdates:

UK (itv2) Jun 01, 2008

Guest Stars
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Bob Saget
Alec SulkinAlec Sulkin
voiced Various
Alex BreckenridgeAlex Breckenridge
voiced Various
Barclay DeveauBarclay Deveau
voiced Various
D.D. HowardD.D. Howard
voiced Various
Jeff BergmanJeff Bergman
voiced Fred Flintstone
John VienerJohn Viener
voiced Marriage Counselor | Jodi Foster
Lisa WilhoitLisa Wilhoit
voiced Connie DiMico
Lori AlanLori Alan
voiced Diane Simmons
Ralph GarmanRalph Garman
voiced Various
Steve CallaghanSteve Callaghan
voiced Various
Tamera MowryTamera Mowry
voiced Various
Casey KasemCasey Kasem
voiced Himself (Deleted Scene: Volume Seven)
Damien FaheyDamien Fahey
voiced Dr. Michael Milano
Pat Crawford BrownPat Crawford Brown
voiced The Sanka Girls

Conway TwittyConway Twitty
As Himself (Archive Footage)
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Various Characters
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin | Various Characters
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Chris Griffin | Various Characters
Mila KunisMila Kunis
voiced Meg Griffin
Mike Henry (1)Mike Henry (1)
voiced Cleveland Brown | Various Characters
Episode Notes
This episode is the second to air since MacFarlane joined the picket lines with the other WGA members

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Conway TwittyHello Darling 

Episode Quotes
(Opening Theme)
{on tv} Tom: Good evening I'm Tom Tucker with a channel 5 news special report.
Dianne: And I'm Dianne Simmons. A flash flood warning is in effect as rain continues to pound Rhode Island.
Tom: Let's go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa who's gonna-tell-us-all-about-the-rain.
Tricia: Tom, residents all over Quahog have been effected by the heavy rains. Although some are doing their best to ride it out. For example, I'm standing here with 'rides a ten speed everywhere' guy. Sir, why are you riding your ten speed in the rain?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: I don't mind, a little drizzle never hurt anybody. I like riding the ten speed because it's fun it gives me energy and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: What do you do for a living?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: I work at accounts receivable at Quahog Insurance, it's not to demanding, the pay is good and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: Well we should wrap this up, you're getting wet.
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: Well I'm living life before the cancer I have kills me so I don't mind the rain. The water feels good on my skin, it's cool refreshing and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: What kind of cancer?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: It's rectal cancer, it's slowly eating away at my lower insides. It's a quick process, both painful and untreatable and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tom: Thank you Tricia. Some local residents have even been evacuated to Quahog stadium for their own protection.
{cut to Quohog stadium}
Cleveland: Why do I have to stay here?
National Guardsman #1: We just think you'll be safer.
Cleveland: But my house is dry.
National Guardsman #2: Here's a blanket.
National Guardsman #1: If you're looking for a bathroom, it's all around you.

{The Griffin House}
Brian: Oh crap! Peter it's a flash flood!
Peter: Oh man I better save my autographed picture of Dean Cain.
You know before he got all desperate for attention.
{cut to Dean sitting on a park bench w/ other man}
Dean: Hey is that Dean Cain sitting on that park bench.
Oh God!
{Griffin house}
Peter: Lois! Uh, you may wanna come down here.
Lois: Oh my God!
Peter: I know, about the water right?
Chris: WOW Cool!
Peter: Hey Chris Come here.
Chris: What? Why?
Peter: Just come here.
Chris: What is it dad?
Peter: Does it feel like the water suddenly just got warmer?
Chris: No
Peter: Oh that's right it's pee that makes it warmer.

Lois: Peter the water's rising fast! We gotta get outta here!
Peter: Hang on Lois, there's a case of beer in the fridge, I can't leave that behind.
Meg, you're a good swimmer go get it.
Meg: What! but dad...
Peter: and for God's sake do not be afraid to make me a sandwich while you're in there.
{Meg dives underwater}

Lois: Peter Meg's been in there a long time.
Peter: Boy you cannot wait to criticize her at every turn can you?
{Peter swims underwater and resurfaces}
Peter: Well Lois I am sorry for snapping at you earlier, you were right to criticize Meg. She could not even handle this simple task. She's in there right now taking a nap underwater.
Lois: For God's sake Save her!
{Peter dives and saves Meg}
Brian: My god we'd better get her to a hospital. She doesn't look too good

Stewie: Yes she looks worse then Andy Garcia when he had his conjoined twin.

{Cut to Andy on a date}
Andy: I had a great time with you tonight. You're really amazing.
Andy's Date: Thanks Andy. I had a great time too.
Conjoined Twin: HEY how 'bout some love for shoulder guy over here.
Andy: (sigh)
Conjoined Twin: Shoulder guy wants to get in on this.
Andy: Just ignore him.
Andy's Date: Ooookay
Andy: So, do you maybe want to go in the other room?
Andy's Date: Sure sounds good.
Conjoined Twin: Ooohhh and shoulder guy's going with you
Andy: Rick, Shut up!
Conjoined Twin: Hey bitch, wanna suck on my tooth?

{Cut to Quahog Hospital}
Dr. Hartman: Mr and Mrs Griffin, I'm afraid your coma is in a daughter.
HAHAHA I mean, I mean your daughter's in a coma... Wha... oh my god did you, did you hear what I said? HAHAHA Brainfreeze. HAHA Oh my, that one's going in the Christmas letter.
Lois: Oh my god Peter, what if she doesn't come out of it?
Peter: I know Lois, I never realized until now how much I've taken her for granted. I mean she's my only daughter and I feel like I've never treated her as well as I should've.
Peter: Hey Meg, you got something on your shirt. HAHAHAHA
(Peter trips her)
Meg: Hi Dad. (Peter shoots her)
{end flashback}
Lois: Don't be too hard on yourself Peter. We all do things that we're not proud of.
Peter: I am gonna change. You hear me Meg, if you come out of this I'm going to treat you like a princess for the rest of your life cause I've been a worse father then Abraham.
{cut to Abraham and his son walking down a mountain}
Abraham's Son: Do you want to tell me what the *beep* that was!?
{Cut back to Quahog Hospital}
Dr. Milano: Excuse me, I'm Dr. Milano. I'm the intern for this floor. You know you guys can probably go on home. We'll let you know if there's any change in your daughter's condition.
Peter: Wow you're a real doctor? Hey does Scrubs work here? I love that guy, I want to meet Scrubs... Oh and I want to meet black Scrubs too.

{Meg opens her eyes}
Dr. Milano: Well hello sleepy head. I'm Michael.
Meg: Hi Michael, I'm Meg.
Lois: MEG!
Peter: Oh my god Meg you're okay! Oh Meg my beautiful daughter, things are going to be different. No more will I treat you like some kind of Alien.
{Cut to Ripley and Newt running}
Alien Queen (w/ the voice of Bruce): Stop. Not so fast y'all. You think you can just up and run away you're crazy. I like to eat people from other planets. Especially y'all.
Little Alien Mouth: I like to eat you with my little mouth too.
Alien Queen: Oh no, y'all get back up inside me little mouth.
Little Alien Mouth: I wants to play too.
Alien Queen: Get back inside, I'll get you when we's eating them

{Cut to Spooner Street}
Brian: So what is it you wanted to show me?
Stewie: That Brian.
Brian: What it's a run down old house.
Stewie: Well yes, I suppose to the untrained eye that's what it would look like.
Walk inside with me Brian.
Brian: This is disgusting, smells, it's falling apart and you can hear the mice humping in the walls.
Mice: Oh Oh Oh OHOHHH That was so awesome.
Stewie: That's why we can get it for a steal Brian. We fix it up and sell it for a huge profit.
Brian: You're crazy! No I'm not going to buy this house with you.
Stewie: Fine I'll just give the profits to another investor. Plenty of others interested.
Brian: oh yeah, like who?
Stewie: Mort Goldman for one. He says it's a smart investment but what does he know he's only Jewish.
Brian: Alright, I'm in.

{Cut to Griffin House}
Peter: Oh there's my little angel. Here let me get that for you sweetie.
Meg: Thanks Dad.
Lois: Wow Peter I gotta say you've really been true to your word about treating Meg better.
Peter: She's my only daughter Lois, she needs to be protected like a rare gemstone or the herniated scrotum of an older gentleman.
Lois: Well I think you've been wonderful like when you took her to that new movie "I'm Rich You're Poor But Let's Dance Together"
{Cut to theater}
Girl: I'm rich and you're poor but let's dance together.
Man: Society won't like it.
Girl: I don't care.
(in audience) Peter: Good for you, good for you.
Meg: Yeah and I can't believe how you stood up to Connie Demico for me.
{Cut to school hallway}
Connie: Hey Meg.
Meg: Uh... Hi Connie
Connie: I can't fit all my books in my locker can I put the rest of them on your ginormous ass? HaHaHa
Peter: Hey Connie, Peter Griffin Meg's father. Say can you do me a favor, you see that fire extinguisher there?
(Peter smashes Connie head face first into extinguisher 18 times)
Meg: Dad that's enough!
(Peter cries)
{Cuts back to Griffin kitchen}
Peter: I just want you to know if there's anything you ever want all you gotta to do is ask.
Meg: Really, well there kinda is one thing
(Doorbell rings)
Meg: There he is now!
Michael: Hey Meg, You ready to go?
Meg: Dad you remember Michael Milano from the hospital. He's my date.
Peter: Oh. Say Michael can you do me a favor, you see that fire extinguisher there

Peter: Stay away from my daughter you possible rapist!
Meg: Dad Stop it! Michael's my date!
Peter: Meg, I almost lost you once I'm not going to lose you again. This guy my look harmless on the outside but on the inside he could be a complete bastard, like Fred Flintstone.
{Cut to the Flinstones in a lawyer's office}
Mr. Stoneberg: So why exactly do you want this separation?
Fred: Well Mr. Stoneberg in a nutshell, the cat put me outside. I was banging on the door for like 20 minutes shouting Wilma!
Wilma: I didn't hear you.
Fred: Ooohh there's no way you didn't hear me
Wilma: I was in the shower
Fred: Ooohh she was in the shower
Wilma: The elephants trunk was on full blast I couldn't hear you...
Fred: You could've been on the other side of the door and you wouldn't have done a damn thing...
Wilma: And besides you're always yelling about something... How the hell should I know when to pay attention...
Fred: All you do is spend my money on expensive clothes and hairdos but when I want to get my rocks off you're nowhere to be found you passive aggressive bitch.

{Cut back to Griffin House}
Peter: Meg can I talk to you in the kitchen please?
Meg: Dad what the hell!
Peter: Lois did you know Meg had a date?
Lois: Yes with that nice boy from the hospital. What's the matter?
Peter: We don't know him. Maybe he's not even a boy, maybe he's 2 dwarfs in an overcoat wanting to see what sex is like with a big person. Uh? Is that what you want? 2 crafty dwarfs in your house after your daughter... wait to dwarfs grant wishes?
Lois: No Peter. They're people like you and me.
Peter: Well goodbye phone in the bathroom but I still don't like Meg dating that boy.
Guys that age, all they care about is putting their thing in everything. I'm not going to let Meg turn out like my Nerf football in the hall closet.
Meg: Didn't you say you'd give me whatever I wanted? Well I want to go out with Michael.
Lois: Peter, you're being over protective. Look why don't you just talk to him, you might find out he's not so bad.
Peter: Ohhh alright Lois but I know what my gut tells me and right now it's telling me I have... INDIGESTION... but I'll suck it up and talk to Michael even though I also got... DIARRHEA.

Peter: So, you are here to take out my daughter. What are your intentions?
Michael: I just think Meg is really cool and I want to get to know her better.
Peter: You know Michael, my daughter's womb is not a wildfire for you to dose with your adolescent seed.
Michael: I understand.
Peter: Do you Michael? Do you? We'll see.
Let me ask you a question, ever sit on your arm til it falls asleep and then play with yourself and pretend like someone else is doing it?
Michael: Honestly? Yes.
Peter: Not anymore you don't. Cause you're going out with my daughter.

{Cut to Stewie and Brian's flip house}
Stewie: Morning Brian, here put this on.
Brian: How long have you been here?
Stewie: 7am, alright here's your hammer, here's your walkie and here's your stud finder. BeepBeepBeepBeep oh well, it's working HaHaHa
Alright, joke time is over work time has begun. You get started with this drywall, I'm gonna start pulling out those floorboards in the kitchen.
Hey Brian... Knock Knock
Brian: Who's there?
Stewie (whispering): 2 friends building a house together.

{Cut to resteraunt}
Michael: Hey Meg, I got you something for our 3 week anniversary.
Meg: WOW a Maroon 5 CD!
Michael: Yeah I remember how you told me you like terrible music so I thought you might appreciate it.
Meg: You're so thoughtful.
Michael: Uh... what the hell?
Meg: What's wrong?
Michael: Uh Meg I'm not sure but I think your dad is sitting at that table over there.
Meg: What? Where?
Michael: Well I can't tell if it's him, I think he's wearing some kind of disguise.
Meg: Oh my god Dad!
What do you think you're doing?
Peter (in Chinese accent): Peter? Who Peter?
Meg: I didn't say Peter I said Dad!
Peter: ooooohhhhh
Meg: Have you been spying on us the entire time we've been dating?
Peter: Meg it's only because I want to make sure this guy treats you right and doesn't try anything funny.
Michael: Meg, this is more then I can deal with. If your father is this opposed to our relationship I don't see how it can work out.
Meg: But Michael...
Michael: I'm sorry Meg, I promise I won't forget you.
Peter: See look Meg he just walked out on you, he's a bad man, like Jodie Foster.
{Cut to Jodie Foster in bed with a woman}
Woman: Oh no Jodie it's my husband, he's home from work early!
Jodie (in a man's voice): Don't worry baby, he had to find out sometime

{Cut to Stewie and Brian's flip house}
Stewie: Alright Brian, I'm going to go to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get up there.
Brian: Okay
Stewie (on walkie): Brian pick up. over.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Brian, please say over when you're finished talking. over.
Brian: (sign) What? over
Stewie: Do you see the wire yet? over.
Brian: No.
Stewie: Nooo what? over.
Brian: No. over.
Stewie: Okay I'm gonna start feeding it through. over.
Brian: Wait if you haven't started feeding it why did you ask me if I could see it?
Stewie: Didn't copy that over.
Brian: I said why did you ask me if I could see it if you haven't started feeding it? over.
Stewie: Oh that's better I can hear you now over. Do you see it yet over.
Brian: You know you're a jackass. For the record I don't want to hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what Brian? over.
Brian: I said I don't want to hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what? You have to finish your sentence. over.
Brian: That's it my sentence is over.
Stewie: Your sentence is what Brian? over.
Brian: My sentence is... Wait a minute I have to say over even is the sentence ends with the word over ?
Stewie: Ends with the word what Brian? over.
Brian: Oh I see the wire.
Stewie: You see the wire what? over.
Brian: OVER!

{Cut to Griffin House}
TV Announcer: Tonight's movie presentation is brought to you by Sanka.
Spokeswomen: Don't cha wanna wanna Sanka. Don't cha wanna wanna Sanka. Don't cha wanna wanna Sanka.
It doesn't keep me up at night but it helps me poo.
Meg: (crying)
Lois: Meg sweetie, it's been like 2 weeks, don't cha think it's time to forget about that boy?
Peter: Yeah Meg he was a bum anyway, you'll find another fella.
Chris: I can set you up with one of my friends. Ohhh wait I don't have any friends.
I can set you up with dad.
Dad would you be interested in dating Meg?
Peter: I certainly would, there Meg every thing's fine.
Meg: It's not Michael I'm upset about.
Lois: Well what is it then?
Meg: I'm pregnant!
Chris: I swear to god I didn't know that when I set you up with her.

{Cut to Griffin kitchen}
Lois: Uh... I can't believe this my baby's pregnant. How could this happen?
Peter: I don't know but regardless of how it happened it happened. You're pregnant Meg and there's only one thing to do.
Peter (walking up to Meg w/ a hanger): Meg can you turn over, I gotta get that thing outta there.
You're sitting on my shirt I got to put it on this hanger. Now I'm going to Michael's house to force him to marry you.
(arriving at Michael's house)
Meg: Dad please don't do this, you can't make him marry me.
Peter: I just want to talk to him.
Meg: Why do you have a shotgun?
Peter: I just want to talk to him.
Meg: Dad this is ridiculous!
Peter: I just want to talk to him
Meg: Put that gun away!
Peter: I just want to talk to him.
Meg: It's not his fault!
Peter: I just want to shoot him.
Meg: You can't shoot him!
Michael: whoa hey what! What are you doing!
Peter: You got my Meg pregnant!
Michael: What! Oh my god Meg. Why didn't you tell me?
Meg: I didn't think you wanted to see me.
Michael: But this changes everything, I want to be there for you Meg. I love you.
Will you marry me?
Meg: YES! Of course.
Peter: Awww now that's an even more beautiful sight then 72 virgins waiting in heaven for a suicide bomber.
{cut to Heaven}
Suicide Bomber: Here I am!
Nerd dressed as Spock: We're playing Magic the Gathering... you wanna join?
Suicide Bomber: OSAMA!!!

{Cut to Stewie and Brian's flip house}
Stewie: Ummm you know something Brian
Brian: Yeah?
Stewie: I'm starting to think maybe we've bit off a little more then we could chew
Brian: Yeah.
Stewie: Well, we're in it and we're gonna finish the job.
Brian: Should we get started on the upper level?
(Upper level crashes down)
Stewie: Noooo
Brian: What the hell are we gonna do? We've sunk all our money into this place.
Stewie: I've ummm, I've got an idea, I'll be right back.
So listen, we're gonna want to be leaving now.
Brian: Why?
Stewie: Because I've just emptied a full tank of gasoline and lit a match, we've got about 5 seconds.
(House explodes)
Brian: Didn't we have an electrician in there today?
Stewie: Uh he left... pretty sure he left.
Brian: Isn't that his truck?
Stewie: Well by god Brian we're murderers, guess this means you'll be going to doggie hell.
{Cut to doggie hell}
(The devil tormenting dogs with a vacuum)

{Cut to Quahog Bridal Shop}
Meg: Hey what do you guys think of this one?
Lois: Are you sure you want to go through with this? You know there are other options.
Meg: Mom I'm not getting an abortion.
Lois: I'm not saying an abortion per ce, maybe you could just drink and smoke a lot.
Meg: WHAT!
Lois: Just don't start doing it and then chicken out halfway through the pregnancy cause then you wind up with Chris.
Peter: Well Lois I got the cake, oh and they were all out of the bride and groom figurines so I got the Iron Giant and a courtroom doll that kids use to show where the molester touched them.

{Cut to Griffin House}
Peter: Okay Meg enjoy your bachelorette party. I am outta here cause I don't need to see what you crazy girls are gonna do while I'm gone but just remember this is a residence and should be treated as such and if you girls drink anything there's recycling under the sink in the kitchen okay have fun.
Friend #4: So uh, what are we supposed to do?
Friend #3: It doesn't seem like much of a party.
(Knock at the door)
Peter (dressed as a cop): So what's with all the noise. Got some complaints from next door. I might have to take you girls downtown.
(Peter hits the stereo and starts to strip)
Peter: Which one of you is the lucky bride?
What's your name sweetie?
Meg: Dad you know my name.
Peter: uh no no no ... it's officer nasty. Careful I might be carrying a concealed weapon.

{Cut to church}
Neil: Hello.
Chris: Hi, name please.
Neil: Neil Goldman
Chris: Goldman, Goldman, Sorry no Neil Goldman
Neil: Oh I beg your pardon, I meant to say Chris Griffin.
Chris: Griffin, Griffin... oh here it is. Says you're supposed to be an usher. Well you'll need this.
Neil: Name please.
Chris: Chris Griffin.
Neil: Griffin, Griffin, I'm sorry sir Chris Griffin has already checked in.
Chris: Well that's impossible!

Lois: Meg, are you ready? Sweetie what's wrong?
(Meg crying)
Meg: Mom I can't do it. I can't get married.
Lois: What? well why not?
Meg: Because I'm not pregnant.
Lois: What do you mean? How do you know?
Meg: (sigh) I got my period.
Lois: Ooohhh
Meg: I must have read the test wrong, what am I gonna do? Michael's out there waiting for me.
Lois: Well Meg the best thing you can do is be honest, just tell Michael the truth. If he cares about you he'll understand.
Meg: I'll try. Thanks Mom. I Love you.
Lois: I uuuhhh you too honey.

Stewie: God look at Meg's fat shoulders in those spaghetti straps. It's like bread baking around twine.
Michael: Meg, you look beautiful.
Meg: Thank you Michael.
Michael: I have never been more in love with someone then I am with you right now.
Meg: Oh Michael I love you too and I have some wonderful news, I'm not pregnant.
Michael and Peter: WHAT!?
(Michael runs out of the church)
Meg: Dad I'm sorry about this whole mess.
Peter: You know what Meg, it's all my fault. I never should have dragged you into this anyway.
I guess sometimes a father just gets a little overprotective of his daughter but you gotta know I was only thinking about your happiness.
Meg: I know dad, and I appreciate it.
Peter: The problem now is these people are expecting a show.
Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. Conway Twitty
(Conway Twitty sings 'Hello Darling')

Episode Goofs
Meg snags her shirt near the door but when Peter finds her her sleeve is snagged on a different part of the fridge shelf.

Cultural References

Peter asks Meg's doctor if "Scrubs" & the "black Scrubs" work in the hospital


The "Wanna fanta, don't ya wanna?" commercials are parodied with 4 elderly ladies promoting Sanka coffee


Ripley and Newt from the 1986 movie, are shown confronting the Alien queen


Peter says that he has been a worse father than Abraham. Abraham was a man from the Bible.
God asked him to sacrifice his own son which he was about to do until an angel said it was unnecessary.

The Flintstones

Fred & Wilma are seen visiting a marriage councilor

Maroon 5

Michael gives Meg a Maroon 5 cd because of her love of bad music

The Iron Giant

Peter replaces the wedding cake bride and groom with the Iron Giant.
The animated 1999 movie starring Jennifer Aniston & Harry Connick Jr.

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster is seen making out with a woman and sporting a deep voice alluding to the long standing rumor that she is a lesbian.

Dean Cain

Dean Cain played Clark Kent/Superman in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman which ran from 1993-1997.
He has had a less then stellar career since then.

Episode References
The episode was thrown to the same Conway Twitty musical number that was twice used in “Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey”

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
Missing Information
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