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Family Guy: One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

When a hurricane hits Quahog, Horace sells the Drunken Clam, which is transformed into a British pub. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to teach a British girl with a heavy Cockney accent how to speak proper English.

Episode Info

Episode number: 3x4
Production Number: 2ACX19
Airdate: Wednesday August 01st, 2001

  • Currently 9/10
9/10 (5 Votes cast)
Guest Stars
Danny Smith (1)
voiced Various
Hugh Laurie
voiced Various
Jennifer Tilly
voiced Bonnie Swanson
Johnny Brennan (1)
voiced Various
Lori Alan
voiced Diane Simmons
Patrick Warburton
voiced Joe Swanson
Tara Strong
voiced Various
Alan Shearman
voiced Various
Edward Asner
voiced Steven Bellows
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Various Characters
Alex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin | Various Characters
Seth Green
voiced Chris Griffin | Various Characters
Mila Kunis
voiced Meg Griffin
Mike Henry (1)
voiced Cleveland Brown | Various Characters
Episode Notes
While never becoming recurring characters, this episode introduced 2 other members of the Quahog 5 News Team.

Greg the Weather Mime

Maria Jimenez

This episode was originally scheduled to air on July 25, 2000.

In the Tron joke there is a hidden message that says "Your TV is upside down if you can read this". The message is really upside down.

Episode Quotes
Peter: Here's to our wives. They may not be as hot as the women you see on TV, or as entertaining. (pause) But, um...you know, I don't know where I'm going with this.

Steve: Well, well, Officer Swanson. You and your friends are dead, you're all dead!
Peter: Oh, good, he thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.

Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through.

Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?
Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: Excellent, and if I win?
Brian: I wasn't betting, why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: (pause) You're on!

Peter: We kicked your ass in World War II & we can do it again!

Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of ID and neither do I.

Quagmire: So, you ladies ever been penetrated?

Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter.
Stewie: I was curious!

Quagmire: I've never seen so many chicks in one place! Hey, hey, check out those two hotties...they're so lonely they're practicing kissing each other!
Cleveland: I don't think they're practicing...
Peter, Quagmire and Joe: Oh...oooohhhhh...OOOOOOHHHH!!!...oh...

Steve: Huh, they're all gone. Oh well, hey I wonder what this feels like. (Stabs himself) Oh god that hurts!!! So thats what I've been doing to people??? I belong here.

Trisha Takanawa: For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth II gives poignant new meaning to the phrase, 'Hey, check out that flaming queen'.

Peter: (driving through town after the hurricane) Well, at least the open air debris field is still intact.

Trisha Takanawa: Is Quahog in the hands of a seriel arsonist? The authorities say no, but our producers say yes.

Episode Goofs
"Norman" is not a possible name choice for tropical storms and hurricanes in the Atlantic region, which is where Quahog is.

Cultural References
Cleveland, Joe, Quagmire, Peter: Yep. Yep. Yep. Mmm-hmm.

When Peter and the gang are standing near the fence drinking beer; the scene often happens in FOX's other show "King Of The Hill".

(Peter is digging the side of the cell wall with a spoon trying to escape)

This is a reference from "Escape From Alcatraz".

Peter: I've never been defeated...except once.

This flashback is a reference to Disneys movie "Tron".

One If By Clam, Two If By Sea

This is a take off from "One is by land, two is by sea". A line from "Paul Revere's Ride".

Stewie: Psst - you, Dogbert. Down here, get a front row seat for this one.

This is a reference to Scott Adams comic strip Dilbert in which Dilbert would always call his dog Dogbert.

Jail Guy: I like the fat one. More cushion for the pushin'!

This line is also used in "The Shawshank Redemption."

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperSeth MacFarlane  |  David Zuckerman
Executive ProducerDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
Co-Executive ProducerDaniel Palladino  |  Danny Smith (1)  |  Craig Hoffman
ProducerMike Barker (1)  |  Sherry Gunther  |  Matt Weitzman  |  Billiam Coronel
Co-ProducerRicky Blitt  |  Chris Sheridan
Consulting ProducerGary Janetti  |  Greg Garcia
Associate ProducerLouis J. Cuck
EditorJohn Walts
CastingLinda Lamontagne  |  Karen Vice
Line ProducerKen Dennis  |  Debby Hindman
Staff WriterBobby Bowman  |  Steve Callaghan
MusicRon Jones (1)
Story EditorMark Hentemann  |  Michael Shipley  |  Jim Bernstein
Supervising DirectorPete Michels (1)  |  Peter Shin
Executive Story EditorGarrett Donovan  |  Neil Goldman
ConsultantMike Henry (1)
Main Title ThemeWalter Murphy
Assistant DirectorSarah Frost
Writing AssistantDave Collard  |  Ken Goin
Production ControllerLiddane Sanders
AssistantLane Schnaitter
Warning: Family Guy season 3 episode 4 guide may contain spoilers
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