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Family Guy: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
In this Christmas episode, Lois struggles to keep her Yuletide cheer after Peter accidentally gives away the family's Christmas presents and Brian sets the kitchen on fire.
Meanwhile, Stewie makes a conscious choice to be good to impress Santa.
Friday December 21st, 2001
This episode got the lowest rating of any Family Guy episode up to its date. Although it may be because it aired around Christmas, which is when most people aren't watching TV.
Bonnie: I am the Virgin Mary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Brian: You're really going to take back donated presents on Christmas Eve?
Peter: Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air conditioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor, so you'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
Brian: Can I buy some pot from you?
Stewie: By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.
Lois: Brian, you're not wearing the sweater I made you
Brian: Well, y'know, it's a little warm in here ..
Lois: Don we now our gay apparel.
Brian: It doesn't get much gayer than this.
Peter: What the hell did you do?
Brian: Me? Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?
Peter: I'll tell you who. Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his whole family at risk.
Peter: It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pauses) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Peter: Why wasn't I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said 'for Peter' on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn't...you know, its just easier to call you stupid.
Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I've got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor.
Peter: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
Lois: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
Peter: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.
Lois: For me? Please?
Peter: All right, all right, but you owe me. Later, under the mistletoe, open mouth, no matter how drunk I am.
Joe: Are you wearing a girl's sweater?
Brian: Does that really matter right now?
The tray of snacks next to Peter disappear after he puts the Christmas Tree in the stand.
The stars and moon on Stewie's crib disappear after Stewie cuts off Ruperts head.
The TV set has an antenna on it at the beginning of the episode, it disappears later, and then reappears again.
Stewie is on the stage at first, then walks over to the side. There's no visible Santa decoration there at this point, but one appears behind him when he states that they are all being watched.
When we first see the “It's A Wonderful Life” parody the snow is falling at normal speed but when Lois passes through the scene and pushes George off the bridge, the snow is falling at a vastly slower speed.
Peter: “So uh... you guys know that Rudolph is on, right?”
Peter mentions the classic 1964 Rankin/Bass Christmas special “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
Lois: “Don't forget to drop off the one for Toys For Toddlers”
Toys For Toddlers is a take off of the real world charity “Toys For Tots”
While driving the guys sing the 1974 disco song “Rock The Boat” by Hues Corporation
Peter: “This is about as funny as Sinbad. Not the comedian, he's hilarious, the sailor. But then again, he was never meant to be funny”
Sinbad the comedian is probably best known for his role on “The Cosby Show” spin off “A Different World”.
Sinbad the Sailor is a character from the book “The Book of One Thousand and One Nights (Arabian Nights)” as well as several movies over the years.
Santa: “I knew you were awake”
Santa blocking Stewie's ray gun blasts as well as the sound of the blasts is an allusion to 1980's “Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back” when the character Han Solo tries shooting Darth Vader on Cloud City
Brian: “Can I buy some pot from you?”
This quote is taken directly from 1978's “Animal House”
Peter: “If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”
This quote is taken directly from 1977's “Star Wars: A New Hope”. It is said by ObiWan Kenobi during the lightsaber duel w/ Darth Vader
Stewie: “Oh yes yes by all means turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to California and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen Twins”
The Olsen Twins, Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen, were the child stars of the ABC sitcom “Full House” (1987-1995). They have since signed an unholy contract with the powers of evil and have parlayed their limited talents into a multi-million dollar empire.
Brian watches a fictitious Bob Hope (1903-2003) special where he entertains the troops of the Civil War
George Bailey: “Clarence, I wanna live again!”
Lois walks through a scene from the classic 1946 Christmas movie “It's A Wonderful Life” starring James Stewart. Clarence is George's guardian angel and Clarence made it possible for George to see what the world would be like if he had never been born.
Snowman: “Hey I guess there's some magic in that old silk hat”
The snowman who says this line is in fact Frosty The Snowman from the 1969 TV special of the same name.
The line Frosty speaks is a line from the famous Christmas carol... “There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found”.
Peter: “Lights please”
This quote is a reference to 1965's “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. The line is spoken by Linus after Charlie Brown asks for someone to explain the meaning of Christmas
Stewie: “Good evening. I'm playing the role of Jesus, a man once portrayed on the big screen by Jeffrey Hunter. You may remember him as the actor who was replaced by William Shatner on Star Trek.
Apparently Mr. hunter was good enough to die for our sins but not quite up to the task of seducing green women.”
Jeffrey Hunter played Captain Christopher Pike, the first captain of the Enterprise on “Star Trek” (1966-1969), in the pilot episode “The Cage”.
Jeffrey portrayed Jesus in 1961's “King of Kings”
Peter: “...and my own copy of KISS Saves Santa”
KISS is a seminal 70's glam/acid rock group