Joe: You need to fix the place up. Reinvent the Clam's image. And we'll help ya!
Cleveland: That'll take forever!
Peter: Not if we do a 1980s fixing stuff up montage!
(Montage of the gang fixing and painting set to a new wave soundtrack)
Quagmire: Wow, I think we made it worse.
Peter: Boy, I do not envy whoever has to clean that mess up.
Peter: I'm afraid I have some very bad news. Your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You have to bath her, feed her and care for her the rest of her life.
Husband: Oh my god!
Peter: (laughs) No, no, no! I'm just kiddin', she's dead!
Mayor Adam West: Oh God, I love this song and I love it when amateurs sing the lyrics, but I hate baseball cards.
Peter: Oh Meg, honey. I always thought you were beautiful just the way... Hahaha...ohohoh. Oh, God... couldn't do that with a straight face. Haha... Oh... welcome to the family, sweetheart. Chris, go burn all of Meg's old pictures.
Meg: Hey, um, do you want to, I don't know, go out sometime?
Craig: Pfeh, that's about as unlikely as me playing by someone else's rules besides my own, which I would never do. I play by my own rules, nobody else's, not even my own.
Meg: How about a movie?
Craig: I don't go out with dudes.
Meg: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois: Oh of course not sweetie
Peter: Yeah, where did you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg: Craig Hoffman
Peter: Craig Hoff... (pauses) Craig Hoffman said that? Well he's a sharp kid, you might be ugly.
Meg: I don't know if you noticed Lois, but I am the band, right Ms. Swan
Ms Swan: Oh yeah, honey, she band. Old lady jealous.
Peter: Hey Fallon! Say goodnight you bum! (Punching Jimmy Fallon repeatedly)
And this is for laughing during every comedy sketch you've ever been in! Who do you think you are, Carol Burnett? You think that she did it so it's alright for you? You haven't earned what she's earned! Alright, now where is the guy who slept with my daughter?!
Lois: I'm worried about Meg. She's spiraling out of control, I mean what if she develops a coke habit ?
Peter: No Coke, Pepsi!
(Lois walks away)
Peter: Aww, come on! You set me up for that one!
Peter: Look Lois, I love meal ticket just as much as I love Chris and Stevie but business is business.
Stewie: (Running naked through the mall) Help! I've escaped from Kevin Spacy's basement, help me!
Craig Hoffman: Huh, that's about as likely as me playing by someone else's rules besides my own, which I would never do. I play by my own rules, nobody else's. Not even my own.
Ms Swan: Oh yeah! Old lady jealous!
Ms Swan is a popular character played Alex Borstein on madTV
Peter: Oh man, that's the best idea since they faked the moon landing.
Many believe the Moon Landing was faked to inspire patriotism.
Stewie: Strong with the force young Skywalker is.
When Stewie is on Brian's back, the scene is similar to a scene in one Star Wars movie. Stewie is acting as Yoda, and Brian is Luke.
Bill Cosby: Stay tuned, and you might learn a little something too. Hey, hey, hey!
Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids was a famous old kids TV show.