Brooke: Quagmire, I would like you to have this rose.
Quagmire: Even after I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body?
Quagmire: I accept. (quickly takes rose)
Michael Eisner: I'd like to give you this parting gift.
Brian: The bill for the mansion?
Michael: No givesies backsies! (runs away)
Contestant #1: I'm super excited. Do you think she'll be hot?
Contestant #2: I'll bet she'll be hot.
Contestant #3: I think she'll be hot too!
Contestant #1: No Way! So do I!
Brian: I was uh... very pleased and surprised, I was really not expecting an open bar. Top shelf booze, I tell ya. This guy knew his stuff. Made me a mojito. I don't think its a gay drink. Mojito...
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
Brian: I guess you can't judge a Brooke by her cover. (laughs)...You can cut that out right? Oh, and maybe you can cut out when I said junk earlier, the whole Chevy Chace thing. Seems like he's probably the kind of guy that would uh sue. I mean, comon'! The guys gotta have no money left.
Chris: Doctor, I need you to get rid of this zit!
Doug: You traitor!
Doctor: Whoa, that's a doosie! I bet some of those awful kids at school call you Zit Face?
Doctor: Papa Zit?
Doctor: Pus Peak?
Doctor: Fat ass?
Doctor: TSk, tsk..oh, that's terrible!
Chris: I don't want to get rid of my pimple, I like him. He's my friend. His name is Doug.
Brian: I just wish I didn't have to look at it.
Chris: Well, we have to look at your ANUS all day!
Stewie: Thank you!
Lois: Oh my God! Look at the size of that pimple, you're like a circus freak! (laughs) Aw, I'm just kidding, it means you're becoming a man, sweetie.
Peter: Yeah, I remember when I first became a man.
Doctor: The operation was a success. What are you going to go by now?
(Peter looks under his hospital gown)
Lois: Here comes the airplane, Stewie.
(Stewie swats spoon)
Stewie: The pilot of that plane must have been JFK Jr....ugh, even I found that of bad taste.
Prince Adam: I have the POWER!
Prince Adam would say this line before transforming into his alter ego He-Man in every episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
Stewie: Well I guess the pilot must have been JFK Jr. Eww... even I found that to be in bad taste.
Due to pilot error, JFK Jr. (John F. Kennedy Jr.), his wife Carolyn Bessette and her sister Lauren Bessette died in a private plane crash on July 16, 1999.
Brian The Bachelor
A reference to "The Bachelorette", a reality show on ABC. The entire episode is based around the show, also.
Lois: Christopher Cross Griffin!
Although most people believe that Chris is possibly named after Christopher Cross, the singer. The writers were probably just trying to make the "Chris Cross" joke.