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Family Guy: 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

When Peter over-runs his tab at Goldmans Pharmacy, he signs Meg over to Mort Goldman so his son Neil can finally have Meg. Meg of course rejects, but it turns out Neil has already gotten over Meg and found a new girlfriend. After a while Meg gets jealous and steals Neil "back". But after a while Meg realises she never really liked Neil, and now she must find a way out of the contract. Meanwhile, Stewie gets a new "hot" babysitter who he tries to impress. But things go wrong when her boyfriend shows up.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 4x8
Production Number: 4ACX11
Airdate: Sunday July 10th, 2005

Director: Greg Colton
Writer: Patrick Meighan

Guest Stars
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Jake Tucker | Hitler
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Eva Braun
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Neil Goldman | Jeremy
Chris CoxChris Cox
voiced Various
David A. GoodmanDavid A. Goodman
voiced Various
Denis MartellDenis Martell
voiced Various
Hillary TuckHillary Tuck
voiced Cecila
John VienerJohn Viener
voiced Various
Johnny Brennan (1)Johnny Brennan (1)
voiced Mort Goldman
Patrick WarburtonPatrick Warburton
voiced Joe Swanson
Ralph GarmanRalph Garman
voiced Various
Wally WingertWally Wingert
voiced Various
Joanna GarciaJoanna Garcia
voiced LaDawn
Ray RomanoRay Romano
voiced Raymond
Main Cast
Seth MacFarlaneSeth MacFarlane
voiced Peter Griffin | Stewie Griffin | Brian Griffin | Various Characters
Alex BorsteinAlex Borstein
voiced Lois Griffin | Various Characters
Seth GreenSeth Green
voiced Chris Griffin | Various Characters
Mila KunisMila Kunis
voiced Meg Griffin
Mike Henry (1)Mike Henry (1)
voiced Cleveland Brown | Various Characters
Episode Notes
Stewies teddy bear "Rupert" is seen in this episode.

Seth MacFarlane stated in this episodes commentary that the people from the Blind Date TV Show (who work in the same building) actually animated that scene themselves.

At the X-Men convention, Lois is dressed as the film version of Mystique, and tries to seduce Neil Goldman who is dressed as Wolverine.

Episode Quotes
Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!

Meg: Please go out with me. I'm just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
Boy: Yeah...uhh...that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night.
(shoots himself in the stomach with a nail gun)

Peter: Kathleen Turner..ehh let's see how she looks..oh that's a shame.

Meg: I can't believe he's over me!
Lois: I can't believe I touched him!
Peter: I still can't believe it's not butter!

Stewie: Oh, hey Ladonne. Hey, what's going on? How are you? Yeah, oh it's just me, Stewie, just being myself, ah yeah. Oh, oh well this here? Oh, it's just my package, yeah just ah just ah my package, God delivered it I signed for it the world keeps on spinnin', yeah.

Stewie: (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend)
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!

Meg: Finally, look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna babysit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass!

Stewie: Oh damn! Jeremy is still in the trunk! How long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead.

Stewie: (to Meg) So, umm...this is uhh..awkward but uhh..have we ever actually, you know, met? I mean I don't even know, say for example, if you have a room up there. You know? A room? I have a room. You know Meg if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, know thats something to think abou..(burps)..oops just burped.

Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.

Meg: God, I don't think I could have been any clearer the last time I turned him down.
Debra Barone: Ray, your mother insulted my steak pizziola. Again.
(Meg walks onto the screen)
Meg: Neil Goldman of Quahog, Rhode Island. Leave me alone! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
(Meg walks off screen)
Debra Barone: Anyway, your mother insulted...
Ray Barone: I don't care anymore Patty after nine seasons I just don't care. Maybe you could try not being a bitch.

Meg: I can't believe he's over me!
Mort: I can't belive I'm out 34 grand!
Peter: I can't believe its not butter! Stick around! More Family Guy coming up!

Cecilia: Neil is such an amazing guy. We just make an absolutely perfect couple.
Meg: You know...Neil liked me first and I was gonna go out with him when I was ready to settle for him. Get your own spazz!
(Meg walks away)
Gym teacher: All right ladies enough chit-chat. Take it off, get in the shower, and bounce around for me.

Meg: You can't sell me you fat son of a bitch!

Episode Goofs
Referring to the Blind Date reference, there is no way Stewie could reach those gas pedals.

Cultural References
Stewie: Aaauuggh! I'm a monster!

The scene in which Stewie turns into a half-man, half-teddy bear is referencing "The Fly", a classic horror movie.

8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

This episodes title is a spoof of the show: "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter".

Other Episode Crew

CreatorSeth MacFarlane
DeveloperDavid Zuckerman  |  Seth MacFarlane
Executive ProducerChris Sheridan  |  Seth MacFarlane  |  David A. Goodman
Co-Executive ProducerDanny Smith (1)
Supervising ProducerMichael Rowe
ProducerKara Vallow
Co-ProducerAlex Borstein  |  Mike Henry (1)  |  Patrick Henry  |  Alec Sulkin  |  Steve Callaghan  |  Wellesley Wild
Consulting ProducerMark Hentemann
Associate ProducerKim Fertman
EditorMichael Elias
CastingLinda Lamontagne
Staff WriterPatrick Meighan  |  Tom Devanney  |  Kirker Butler  |  Cherry Chevapravatdumrong  |  John Viener
MusicRon Jones (1)
Music EditorStan Jones
Production AssistantMike Desilets  |  J. Lee  |  Shawn Reis
Production CoordinatorTanya Calderon  |  Katie Krentz  |  Aimee Bell
Assistant EditorEric Brown (2)
Post Production SupervisorKarin Perrotta
Production SupervisorBrandee Stilwell
Storyboard ArtistYoung Lee
Character DesignerSharon Ross  |  Ed Acosta  |  Mickey Cassidy
Supervising DirectorPeter Shin
Production ManagerBrandi Young
Sound EditorSteve Dierkens
Main Title ThemeWalter Murphy
Sound SupervisorBob Newlan
Assistant DirectorSteve Fonti
Animation ProducerShannon Smith
Storyboard RevisionistSpencer Laudiero  |  Aldin Baroza  |  Louis Gallegos  |  Young Baek  |  Tara Whitaker  |  Mark Covell  |  Chris Bennett  |  Erik Moxcey
Writing AssistantMatt Fleckenstein  |  Brooke Roberts
Production ControllerLiddane Sanders
AssistantJoanna Fuller (1)  |  Laura Hilker  |  Andy Goldberg
Sound Re-recording MixerSam Black  |  Jim Fitzpatrick (3)
Retake DirectorJohn Holmquist
Production MixerDan Cubert
Overseas Animation SupervisorPeter Brown
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