Episode Quotes
Doctor: Contraband check. (Pulls out cookies.) What are these?
Cookie Monster: I don't know!
Doctor: What do you mean"you don't know"?
Cookie Monster: I-I-I-I don't know how they got there!
Doctor: Well I think you DO know!
Cookie Monster: NO NO NO UH DERICK, D-DERICK WAS IN HERE UH EARLIER HE WAS UH MAKING THE, MAKING THE BEDS, HE PROBABLY PUT THEM, UH, I-I WHAS IN THE JOHN, (eats cookies, guards hold him down and give him an injection) AHH AHH AHH! YOU-YOU GUYS ARE NAZIS MAN! YOU'RE FREAKIN' NAZIS!
Guard: Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!
Lois: And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become a model!
Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris: Me too!
Meg: Me too!
Peter: Oh! Oh! God! Meg! That's sick! That's your mother!
Meg: (shrugs) I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter: Get out! Get out of this house!
(Meg doesn't move. Peter punches wall.)
Peter: I SAID GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!
(Meg runs out and Peter closes the door.)
Peter: That's a good about your modeling, Lois.
(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Stewie: (speaking to a Latina maid) So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
Brian: I dont have worms! I just got tested for them...oh, wait, no, I have worms.
Mr. Pewtershmidt: Peter, I see you're still fatter than holy hell.
Peter: Awww... You can read me like a book!
Peter: So uhh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow eh? Bet you're gonna need some strapping men to help you with your boat.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Are you calling me gay?
Peter: No. No. I just; I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poopdeck.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Or as I call him: my Son-In Lard.
Stewie: Good things, good things. You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile. Hmm, bad things, bad things. You have smelly dog farts.
Stewie: I found a note in the suggestion box that said "I think Stewie should eat a flaming bag of..." well, I'm not going to say the last word because I think you know what it its.
Stewie: That coffee mug that you have on your desk, it says life's a beach? Umm that's dangerously close to the word bitch isn't it?
Brian: Uhh, yeah that's the joke.
Stewie: Oh, absolutely! And nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie, and you know between you and me I think it's a stitch, but some of the other employees found it offensive.
Peter: Meg...who let you back in the house?
Stewie: Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right.
Meg: Wow, this looks just like my room at home.
Lois: Yeah except for the all the trophies and pictures of friends
Peter: (Knocks out Mr. Pewterschmidt) That's for giving me a book for Christmas. You're rich, you jerk!
Worm: You know what’s interesting? I’ve only been alive for six weeks, I know nothing of the world beyond this dog’s stomach, and I still find Six Feet Under pretentious.
Cultural References
Peter: Do you want to do your little turn on the catwalk, on the catwalk, little turn on the catwalk?
This line is from the 'one hit wonder' group Right Said Fred & their song "I'm Too Sexy".
Model Misbehavior
The title of this episode is a spoof of the 2000 movie: Model Behavior.
Six Feet Under
Seix Feet Under is a Drama show on HBO.
Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider was on Saturday Night Live from 1990 - 1994, and can often be found in any of Adam Sandler's movies.