Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The Glass Is Half Empty."
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself!
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ross: Joey, uh- OMnipotent.
Joey: You are? Ross, I'm sorry...
Phoebe: If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest... And bigger boobs!
Ross: Yeah, see… you took mine.
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first... consummated our... physical relationship. (to Joey) Sex.
Ross: You know what, I better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Rachel: Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Monica: (about the bank) They say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks!
Monica: That is the unusual activity.
(In the ER)
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
Rachel: We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese!
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak! I judge him.
(Ross is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose)
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs.