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Friends: The One With Two Parts (1)
Joey falls in love with Ursula, Phoebe's estranged twin sister, which strains his friendship with Phoebe. Meanwhile, Chandler is instructed to fire a sexy employee. But he ends up dating her, and tells his boss that she is mentally unstable in order to keep her sweet, whilst Ross begins to doubt his parenting skills when he attends a Lamaze class with Carol and Susan.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! OK... um, Liam Neeson.
Phoebe: Morly Safer.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Ross: I’ve gotta go. I’ve got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Oh, and I’ve got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Ross: You don’t dip your pen in the company ink.
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, she’d be there.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Ross: Okay, I’m gonna play my sperm card one more time.
Mr. Douglas: The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: It’s pretty ugly. We haven’t seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.
Rachel: Are you seeing her again tonight?
Joey: Yep. Ice Capades.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. I’ve never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know what’s going on inside a person’s head.
Chandler: Well, I guess that’s why they call it psychology, sir.
Carol: (to Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"