Monica: (To Rachel) Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called "Excuse me..."
Ross: (holding a résumé) Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh, my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Chandler: Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole "The Flintstones could've really happened" thing?
Chandler: (about Rachel) Could you want her more?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from What’s Happening?.
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: (stares at her) The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Rachel: (to Ross) So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Monica: He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: "Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black."
Rachel: Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where?
Rachel: (in disbelief) Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Monica: Well, what's the job?
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: I don't think so.
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Rachel: Oh my God!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one.
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Rachel: Oh, it’s so typical. "Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women."
Phoebe: OK, Joey, your bet.
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (they stare) Oh, I'm out…
Rachel: Monica, get my purse.
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.