Chandler: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?

Monica: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop, chop, chop, sauté, sauté, sauté. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Joey: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.

Ross: She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Chandler: We don't know Bob, ok? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.

Phoebe: Wow, look at these prices.
Rachel: Yeah, these are pretty cha-ching.
Joey: What are these, like famous chickens?

Ross: Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Chandler: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
Ross: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?

Rachel: Ok, I will have the uh, (whispers) side salad.
Waiter: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Rachel: I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?

Chandler: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Waiter: Anything else?
Chandler: Yes, how about a verse of "Killing Me Softly". (pause) You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you?

Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way. Sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.

Phoebe: I'm gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very "Hootie" place right now.

Monica: Guys, we bought the tickets.
Phoebe: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Chandler: Why did you look at me when you said that?

Ross: Are you ready?
Chandler: Yes, yes. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Ross: Whoa! What? You had sex today?
Chandler: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it.

Ross: Still doing the screening thing?
Chandler: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.

Phoebe: Is that a hickey?
Monica: Oh! No, I just... I fell down.
Rachel: On someone's lips?