Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet.
(Monica gives him a dirty look)
Chandler: Joey, she does not look fat!
Monica: Is your tongue swelling up?
Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
Terry: (about Phoebe) Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it.
Joey: We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Chandler: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air.
Chandler: Heads it is.
Joey: Yes! Whew!
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!
Joey: Right. Ok, ok, uh... Ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Ross: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
Monica: That was you?
Ross: They, uh, they were infected. He wouldn't have made it.