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Friends: The One After the Superbowl (1)
On a short visit to Los Angeles, Ross plans to visit his old monkey, Marcel. The zoo owner tells him Marcel has died, leaving him devastated. Investigating, he is shocked when he discovers Marcel is alive - and has become an animal filmstar. Meanwhile, Joey is excited about the fan mail he will receive after making his Days of Our Lives debut. But he soon finds himself with a unhinged stalker, Erica Ford, who thinks he is actually a doctor. Elsewhere, Phoebe is hired by a library to sing songs to children, and the children find her inappropriate songs about life's painful truth's terrific. the parents, however, are far less approval to her choice of songs.
Ross: (about Marcel) Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, you know, giving him away.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
Joey: Oh my god, I got my very own stalker.
Chandler: Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
(Trying to escape his stalker)
Joey: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met.
Chandler: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Monica: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What is she like.
Chandler: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
Chandler: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
(About playing for children)
Phoebe: I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear...
Rob: That's not a good idea. That's kinda the reason the last guy got fired.
Erica: Oh Drake, you are so talented. Let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands. Oh I could just eat them... but I won't.
Joey: Oooh. Otherwise my watch would fall off.
Ross: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Chandler: That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
Joey: I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Erica: Oh, my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
Rob: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs...
Phoebe: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
Rob: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
Phoebe: Who's Barney.
Ross: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Chandler: What, you never look down in the shower? (Ross gives him a look) Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?