Ross: (about Marcel) Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, you know, giving him away.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
Joey: Oh my god, I got my very own stalker.
Chandler: Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
(Trying to escape his stalker)
Joey: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met.
Chandler: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Monica: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What is she like.
Chandler: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
Chandler: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
(About playing for children)
Phoebe: I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear...
Rob: That's not a good idea. That's kinda the reason the last guy got fired.
Erica: Oh Drake, you are so talented. Let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands. Oh I could just eat them... but I won't.
Joey: Oooh. Otherwise my watch would fall off.
Ross: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Chandler: That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
Joey: I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Erica: Oh, my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
Rob: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs...
Phoebe: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
Rob: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
Phoebe: Who's Barney.
Ross: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Chandler: What, you never look down in the shower? (Ross gives him a look) Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?