Chandler: I messed up. It was a meeting. Everyone was smoking!
Monica: So what? Don't you have any will power?
Chandler: Will power? I've watched home videos of you eating Ding-Dongs without taking the tin foil off!
Rachel: What if she jumped out of the basinet?
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.
Rachel: Oh my God! I left the water running!
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996!
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if the window's open, a bird could fly in there and...
Ross: Oh my God, you know what, I think you're right! I think, you know what, listen, listen... a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression, and grabs the baby in it's talon! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
Judy Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time, I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor, and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his willie between his legs, and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you!"
Ross: Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.