Olivia: What is it?
Walter: They… they have this horrible… pudding here. Butterscotch pudding on Mondays. It’s dreadful.
Olivia: It’s Thursday.
Walter: Oh? Oh, fantastic!
Olivia: I can have you on a flight back here in four days, but first…
Peter: Let me save you the time. I'd rather stay here in Iraq. That's how much I want to see my father.
Walter: I thought you’d be fatter.
Peter: You thought I’d be fatter? Excellent. First words, perfect.
Walter: No, as a boy, you were round.
Olivia: What happened?
Walter: I just pissed myself.
Walter: Just a squirt.
Olivia: CDC says the Hamburg flight was caused by a synthetic compound, which is like saying rain is caused by a wet compound.
Walter: So much… so much happened here. And so much is about to.
Peter: Genetically, humans and cows are separated by only a couple lines of DNA so it's an ethical test subject.
Olivia: Where did you learn that, MIT?
Peter: No, actually picked that up reading books, you should try it sometime, it's fun.
Walter: The only thing better than a cow is a human. Unless you need milk. Then you really need a cow.
Olivia: I thought you were a genius. You must have had a system?
Peter: Of course there was a system. The house was cheating. But you try and tell them that.
Olivia: You owe money to a guy nicknamed Big Eddie?
Peter: No, I owe money to a guy named Big Eddie. He had it legally changed.
Walter: Didn’t I mention it?
Peter: Whatever you think you said, you didn’t say it.
Walter: I have used this technique to extract information from a corpse once. You can do that if they haven’t been dead for longer than six hours.
Peter: Right, ‘cause after six hours they’re really dead.
Walter: It's not an exact science.
Peter: It's not even science!
Peter: The man who was just released from the mental institution, he wants to give you a drug overdose, then stick a metal rod into your head and put you naked into a rusty tank of water.
Walter: No, I don’t want to. No, I’d rather not. I’m just saying I can.
Walter: Excellent! Let's make some LSD.
Charlie: You’ve cleared all this with Broyles?
Charlie: Oh, “somewhat” doesn’t sound good. Is that a cow?
(watching “Spongebob Squarepants”)
Walter: And this is a show for children?
Astrid: Yeah, it’s huge.
Walter: Surprisingly profound for a narrative about a sponge.