Opening theme promotion: Mr. Bender's Wardrobe by ROBOTANY 500
Opening theme cartoon: A Corny Concerto.
The Professor: Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a scientist.
Fry: No, Professor. Don't give up. There were plenty of times in my century when I was gonna give up, but I never did. Never! Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up!
The Professor: (pointing the Smelloscope at various planets) And now Saturn.
Fry: (smelling) Pine needles! Oh, man, this is great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.
Leela: I don't get it.
The Professor: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Professor: Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Leela: Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second garbage ball returns to Earth like the first one did?
Fry: Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.
Professor: Exactly! It's none of our concern.
Fry: That's the 20th century spirit!
Wernstrom: (to the Professor) I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus.
Fry: You got this from the Internet? In my day, Internet was just used to download pornography.
The Professor: No, that's still true.
Bender: There's your problem. The Professor put the counter on upside down!
Leela: That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes. It was set for 52 seconds!