Fry: Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?
Vet: Um, I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning, but if he's anything like the common tree, the rings might indicate his age.
Fry: (laughs) Yeah well, good luck. It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings.
Vet: (looks at the fang) He's five.
Leela: You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings!
Bender: Of course I do! Right now I feel sorry for you.
Leela: You do?
Bender: Yeah, I mean one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye... You ain't winnin' no beauty pageants, lady.
Dwayne: Please, do not be frightened. We're harmless.
Raoul: I have three arms.
Dwayne: I said "harmless" not "armless."
Vyolet: Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear.
Fry: Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? You're mutants!
Dwayne: Mutants? Perhaps it is you who are the mutants.
Vyolet: Puh-lease, Dwayne. Have you looked in a mirror lately?
Fry: So, is it true that alligators flushed down the toilet survive down here?
Vyolet: No, that's just an urban legend.
Bender: Then what are those?
Vyolet: Crocodiles. (snorts)
Dwayne: (about El Chupanibre) If the legend is true, our only hope is to offer him a snack-rifice.
Raoul: Yes, an unspoiled virgin.
Leela: I volunteer!
Vyolet: Nice try, Leela, but we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's webpage.
Bender: (sadly) Oh, I made myself feel bad.
Fry: Leela, your scaredness is being transmitted straight to Bender. If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him!
Leela: I can't! I love every living creature.
Fry: Even me?
Leela: As a friend.
Dwayne: Gather round, children, to hear the legend of Bender. (sings) He came from above with a-
(guitar string breaks)
Dwayne: It's gonna be many a year before someone flushes another guitar string.
Professor: Bender, you won't believe this, but the empathy chip burned out. The emotion you felt for Nibbler was actually your own!
Fry: Huh, looks like Bender learned an important lesson about respecting other people's feelings after all.
Professor: No, I'm wrong. The empathy chip was running at triple capacity.
Bender: And I still barely felt anything. Goodnight, losers!