(Max rings the doorbell at what he believes is the spy school.)
Max: When the moon is full, the tide is high...
Lady: You must want the spy school. That’s next door.
Max: Why, with one perfectly timed chop of my hand, I can break eight boards this thick (gestures indicating a thickness about six inches). Would you believe it, eight?
Hillary Gainsborough: I find it very difficult to believe...
Max: Would you believe seven?
Hillary Gainsborough: I don’t think so...
Max: How about a loaf of bread?
(Max has thrown a razor sharp hat through the window next door.)
Lady: (brandishing the hat) I’ve warned you people long enough! This time, you don’t get the hat back!
Max: I’m Maxwell Smart, agent 86.
Hillary Gainsborough: That’s a likely story.
99: You can call Control headquarters and the Chief will identify him!
Max: Does he have to?
Hillary Gainsborough: Why, are you afraid I’ll find out that you’re lying?
Max: No, I’m afraid you’ll tell him I’m flunking weapons class!
(An unknown enemy has just thrown three knives at Max, barely missing him.)
Max: 99, I’ve got a hunch... this was no accident!
99: You’re deliberately setting yourself up as a target. You’ll be in extreme danger every minute!
Max: And, loving it!
Max: Well, I checked that candle that was supposed to burn down and set off the dynamite, and that candle was set for 5:20, which would have given you a perfect alibi.
Hillary Gainsborough: And you accuse me on this flimsy evidence?!?
Max: No, I have some more flimsy evidence!
Max: Why, without security, none of us would be safe!
Passerby: Excuse me, is this Mrs. Green’s house?
Max: No, that’s the spy school. Mrs. Green’s house is over there.