The Chief: You’d better right down these instructions – we’ve got to be precise.
Max: Right, Chief.
The Chief: First of all, Plan A: If they do show up without the ray gun...
Max: Ah, hold it a second, Chief – you got a piece of paper?
(The Chief hands Max a sheet of paper.)
The Chief: If they show up at your apartment without the ray gun you’ve got to force them...
(The Chief, irritated, hands Max a pencil.)
The Chief: If they show up at your apartment without the ray gun, you’ve got to force them to take you to their hideout and find a way to confiscate the weapon. Have you got that?
Max: (writing slowly) Plan... A...
The Chief: Max, do you have something for a headache?
Max: You know, Chief, you ought to have a check-up. You’ve been getting these headaches quite often, lately.
The Chief: Only on occasions, Max.
Max: Well, you’ve had one every time I’ve been with you.
The Chief: Those are the occasions...
Max: Gentlemen, I’m afraid that your guns are useless. You see, there’s an invisible wall between us. Go ahead – shoot. The bullets will merely bounce off; you’ll simply be wasting your ammunition. Now, I don’t care to discuss it any further!
(The KAOS agent walks over to Max and puts his gun directly against Max’s head. Max reaches up and knocks on the wall behind him – he is on the wrong side!)
Max: Unless, of course, we discuss it at your place.
Max: Very clever, Mr. Ehrlich, but not quite clever enough! You had me fooled for awhile but now I’m wise to you! There is no Sophie and there is no Gambini.
Ehrlich: (reaching inside his coat; he thinks Max has realized the invisibility ray is a hoax) There isn’t?
Max: No. Because Colonel Krueger over there is a ventriloquist!
(Max has turned the invisibility ray on himself.)
Max: An old trick, Ehrlich, but it worked! Now I’m as invisible as the rest of you! Now I have the upper hand! But I can see my upper hand... and I can see my lower hand.. why, I can see all of me! Ehrlich, the ray gun was a phony and so are you!
Max: Don’t worry, 99, it’s me, Max... Max. I’m here to protect you; you’re perfectly safe. Even though you can’t see me, I’ll protect you.
99: What are you talking about, Max? I can see you...
Max: Yes, of course, YOU can see me but I can’t see myself. Now, wait a minute... I can see myself but you can’t... myself, I... wait right here. (Walking over to Ehrlich) Uh, how does that go again, Ehrlich? I can see myself...
Max: You see this chair over here? Inside this chair is a device which, when activated, releases a highly potent sleeping gas.
99: That’s marvelous! How does it work?
Max: Well, it’s really quite simple 99. You merely take both hands and press them down on the arms of the chair. Then you take both feet and press them on the floor, while pushing back against this cushion, at the same time releasing a switch behind this table. Then the gas comes out of the ventilating system. Here, I’ll show you.
(Max operates the mechanism and gas begins to billow into the room.)
99: Oh (yawning) Oh, Max...
Max: I think we can make it to the door... (he staggers from the chair woozily, trying to help 99, then sags back into the chair) I think we can make it to the floor...