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Get Smart: Satan Place

KAOS kidnaps The Chief as he leaves for his vacation and demands $200,000 for his safe return. Unknown to Control, their real plan is to operate on Control's leader, turning him into a willing KAOS puppet! Max and 99 must discover where KAOS is keeping The Chief and rescue him before he becomes everyone's worst enemy.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x9
Production Number: 010
Airdate: Saturday November 13th, 1965

Guest Stars
Joseph SirolaJoseph Sirola
As Harvey Satan
Robert CornthwaiteRobert Cornthwaite
As Windish
Bryan OBryan O'Byrne
As Hodgkins
Len LesserLen Lesser
As Rudolph
Jack PerkinsJack Perkins
As Gregor
Episode Notes
Gadgets: Shoe phone, wallet phone, sunglasses phone, tie phone, handkerchief phone, belt phone, garter phone (Max holds five conversations at one using all but the handkerchief and tie); electric grass (plugs into tree); telescoping vaulting pole (collapses when Max tries to use it); caterpillar shoes (suction cups stick to any surface).

The name of the episode spoofs the name of a novel (and later a television series), Peyton Place.

Episode Quotes
(The Chief’s car won’t start.)
Max: Well, now, I don’t claim to be an expert on these things, but I’m willing to make a large wager that I know just where the trouble is.
The Chief: Where, Max?
Max: In the engine.
The Chief: Good thinking. You want to take a look there?
Max: Where?
The Chief: In the engine!!

(Max examines objects recovered from The Chief’s abandoned car.)
Max: The Chief has been kidnapped!
Windish: May I ask which one of these items led you to this conclusion?
Max: This innocent looking piece of paper.
99: Why, Max? What is it?
Max: A ransom note. They want $200,000 or they’re going to kill him.

Harvey Satan: After your organization has paid the $200,000 we’re asking for you, we’ll send you back to them, and you’ll be in perfect health, but you’ll be working for KAOS.
The Chief: There is no way you can force me to work for KAOS.
Harvey Satan: As we speak, at this very moment, a certain Doctor Lazlo von Havoc is on a plane from Europe. Now, I’ve never met the man, but I’ve been led to believe that he can perform the most incredible operation that will turn you into our willing slave. Imagine, Rudolph – the Chief of CONTROL – a KAOS man!

(Max and 99 total contributions towards The Chief’s ransom fund.)
99: Wow, here’s one for $500!!
Max: Now, that’s great, now we’re getting someplace. Who’s that from?
99: The boys in counterfeiting.

(Harvey Satan calls with a ransom demand.)
Harvey Satan: I said, I’m speaking for your Chief. If you wish to see him again, alive, pay close attention to my instructions.
Max: (forgetting to cover the handset) Get a tracer on this call, Hodgkins!
Harvey Satan: (over the phone) Don’t do it, Hodgkins!
Max: Go ahead, Hodgkins!
Harvey Satan: (over the phone) Stay there, Hodgkins! ...At eight this evening one of your agents will take the ransom money and carry it in a suitcase into Municipal Park. Enter the park by the southwest entrance and keep walking. You’ll receive further instructions in the park. One agent, no more, or your Chief will be killed!
Max: Wait a minute... how do we know you really have the Chief?
Harvey Satan: Well, who else knows about his abduction besides you... and me? (laughs evilly) Alright, Hodgkins, you can go now.

Max: Harvey Satan of KAOS?
Rudolph: That’s right.
Max: I though he was in jail! Wasn’t he convicted of arson, treason, insurrection and mass murder?
Rudolph: He got time off for good behavior.

(Max and 99 impersonate a doctor and his nurse.)
99: Your thermometer, doctor.
(Max shakes the thermometer. It slips from his grasp and shatters on the floor.)
Max: Sweep zat up und put it under ze patient’s tongue!

(99 has sprayed three KAOS agents with super cold water, freezing them solid.)
99: That’s the end of Satan Place!
Max: Yes, and that’s the end of those three hardened criminals.

(The Chief wonders how much of the $200,000 ransom Max raised.)
Max: Well, Chief, let’s look at it this way. You remember Tennyson’s poem, “Cannons to the left of them... cannons to the right of them... into the valley of death rode the...?"
The Chief: Six hundred.
Max: Right.
The Chief: Six hundred dollars? That’s all?!?

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