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Get Smart (1965)
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| Title: | Last One in is a Rotten Spy |
| Episode Number: | 30 |
| Season: | 1 |
| Season Episode #.: | 30 |
| Production Number: | 030 |
| Original Airdate: | Saturday May 07th, 1966 |
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Max gets a strange phone call – a woman in love with recently murdered Agent 81 reveals that before his death he instructed her to contact Max. She has names of enemy agents, but she was told to give them to Max in person. She is with a swimming team meeting an American team in Washington. She gives Max her name but it is long and foreign and he cannot remember it. Max make several attempts to get the names, but each time is thwarted by circumstance or the actions of enemy agents. Finally, Max decides to force the issue – he goes over to the dormitory to find out which of the beautiful swimmers is the defector, and makes a surprising discovery.
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| Gadgets: Tiny telephone hidden inside a real telephone; inflatable horse with gun barrel in its mouth.
| No part of this episode takes place in Control headquarters. There are basically only three locations: the swimming pool, a dorm room and a dorm hallway.
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| Max: How will I recognize you?
Verna: I am 5’ 5”, have brown hair...
Max: Go on, I’m recording every word (he looks at the tape recorder and realizes it is not running) ...well, uh, I may have missed one or two. Would you mind starting from the beginning?
| Max: I’ll spot the girl who called me in a second, Chief. She said she was 5’ 5” and had brown hair. (Max looks at the swim team. Every member matches the description.) This may take a little longer than I thought, Chief.
| Max: Why, I once trained a girl to swim across the English channel four times! Would you believe it, four times!
Greco: I find that hard to believe.
Max: Would you believe three times across the Mississippi?
Greco: I don’t think so.
Max: How about twice around the bathtub?
| Verna: I leave message with names of enemy agents on bottom of swimming pool. When drapes are closed you vill know I have left it.
| (Max is supposed to dive into the pool to recover a message.)
Max: What do you think, Chief? A half gainer or a nice swan dive?
(The Chief simply stares stonily at Max. Max prepares to dive again, then stops.)
Max: Chief, I myself am a little partial to a one-and-a-half twist with a double gainer, because...
The Chief: GET IN THE POOL!!
| (Max discovers a message folded into his sandwich after he takes a bite.)
Max: (reading a message) “Unable to leave message in pool. The names of the enemy agents are...”
The Chief: Are what?!?
Max: Are in my stomach. I ate the rest of the message, Chief.
| The Chief: Max, please be careful. You’ll be out there alone – a walking target for a killer.
Max: And... loving it.
| Max: You’re going to have to kill me to get this note, Greco!
Greco: Then I’ll kill you.
Max: It was only a suggestion.
| The Chief: You... you ate those names AGAIN!
Max: I had to eat them, Chief, otherwise Greco would have gotten them.
| Max: Chief, I’ve got to get those names. I’m going in there, find that girl, and get that list. I figure it’ll take me about... ten minutes.
Agent 99: But Max, that’s a dormitory full of women!
Max: Hmmm. Better make than an hour and ten minutes.
| Verna: No, we had better go now. Greco is sure to find out what I have done.
Greco: (stepping into the hallway and leveling a rifle) Greco has already found out what you have done.
| Max: Well, Chief, we’re all set to go. I’ll go get Myrna.
Agent 99: It’s Verna, Max.
The Chief: That’s the trouble with this whole assignment, Max. Those names of the iron curtain girls all sounded alike.
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