Luke: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: See, now, that's why you were voted Mr. Personality of the New Millennium. Where's your crown?
Lorelai: Rory is not gonna to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance, you know, like a Honda. You know, they're just easy, just...nice office.
Rory: Yeah, they kept calling me Mary.
Lorelai: You're kidding me. Wow, I can't believe they still say that.
Rory: Why? What does it mean?
Lorelai: Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
Rory: You're kidding.
Rory: Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?
Lorelai: Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.
Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day?
Lorelai: It's shorter?
Paris: (reading Rory's file) Lorelai Gilmore.
Louise: Nice stripper name.
Paris: Formerly of Stars Hollow High.
Louise: Where's that?
Paris: Drive west, make a left at the haystacks, and follow the cows.
Morey: Tell her about the gnome, baby.
Babette: They kicked the gnome.
Babette: Right in the head!
Morey: That's just not cool.
Babette: I wouldn't trust these boys. Gnome-kicking says a lot about a man's character.
Miss Patty: Now, walk smooth. That's the new Harry Potter on your heads. If they should drop, Harry will die, and there won't be any more books.
Rory: I don't know. It was just one big, long, scary, tweedy, bad eight hours.
Lorelai: Add some hair spray, and you've got my day.
Miss Patty: Ladies, what do I see. Naked girls. No, no, keep those leotards on. This is not Brazil.
Lorelai: Well, we like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen "The Shining", Mom?
Lorelai: Sweetie, you can't let those kids get you down. Do you want me to talk to anybody? A parent, a teacher, a big guy named Moose?
Moose is a character from the Archie Comics who's big and strong but has a heart of gold.
Lorelai: It'd be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?
The Shining is a horror movie by Stanley Kubrick based on a Stephen King novel about a family that takes a job to watch a hotel during the winter. The father goes crazy and ends up on a killing frenzy and repeats the line, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".
I look like that chick from The Dukes of Hazzard
Lorelai is referring to Daisy Duke, the cousin of Luke and Bo Duke on the TV show, The Dukes of Hazzard
Lane: Hey guys! New CD! XTC, 'Apple Venus Volume 2'!
XTC is a new wave band from the UK who are considered the fathers of the Britpop movement that began in the 1980s. Apple Venus Vol. II is the highly popular sequel to Apple Venus.
Rory: And I was in the German Club for a while, but there were only three of us, and then two left for French Club after seeing Shindler's List.
Shindler's List is an Academy Award winning movie directed by Stephen Speilberg based on a novel by Thomas Keneally. It tells the true story of Nazi Czech businessman, Oskar Schindler, who used Jewish labor to start a factory in Poland. As World War II progressed, Schindler's motive changed and he was able to save 1100 Jews from concentration camps.
I want to go to Harvard to study journalism and political science.
On your way to being?
Not Cokie Roberts?
Not Oprah, Rosie, or one of the women from The View
Christiane Amanpour is CNN's chief international correspondent; Cokie Roberts is a political commentator for ABC News; Oprah is a successful talk show host; Rosie is also a talk show host as well as an actress and comedian; The View
is a daytime talk show created by Barbara Walters.
Rory: What are you looking at?
Lorelai: I'm just trying to see if there's a hunchback up in that bell tower.
This is a reference to Quasimodo, the hunchbacked bell ringer from the novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo.