Mrs. Shales: Do you have children?
Lorelai: A daughter.
Mrs. Shales: Do you hate her?
Mrs. Shales: Not ever?
Lorelai: Well, I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor.
Mrs. Shales: That was the high point for me.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia?
Richard: What do you mean?
Lorelai: Well, one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: And your point being?
Lorelai: That one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai. I don't have time to keep up with the multitudes of people that your mother employs.
Lorelai: But one is a man and one is a woman.
Emily: So, Lorelai, how are things at that charming little inn of yours?
Lorelai: Mm...they're still charming and little. We're just crossing our fingers it doesn't assert itself and become rude and large.
Lorelai: I told her she go out for the debating team.
Rory: It's not a sport.
Lorelai: It is the way the Gilmores play.
Lorelai: Ooh, is there a 'you're crazy' team? Because I think they'd make you captain.
Lorelai: Tell me something happy.
Sookie: I can't make the strawberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Wow, you suck at this game.
Lorelai: (on phone with Richard) Dad? Yeah, it's Lorelai. Who else calls you Dad?
Emily: You brought us used dessert?
Lorelai: You want something to drink?
Rory: Are you trying to make up?
Lorelai: No, I'm trying to hydrate you.
Richard: What do you know about golf?
Rory: That it's a good walk spoiled?
Michel: The battle for soup versus salad is raging in the other room. Come quick and settle it please, as I am running out of French curse words that they won't understand.
Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Michel: I was attacked by a band of swans in the Luxembourg Gardens when I was a boy. No one forgets that.
Lorelai: Oh no -- not being attacked by a band of swans. Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feathery 'N Sync kind of fiasco?
Lorelai: Well good intentions and no physical exertion whatsoever is what the game of golf was built on.
It's Peyton Place.
is a 1956 novel that was made into a movie and television series that tells of the steamy secrets of sex and murder in a small New England town.
Michel: To me, you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon.
The voices and faces of adults in the Peanuts comic strips and television specials, which feature Charlie Brown, are blurred and indistinct.
Lorelai: It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial.
Commercials for Wrigley's Doublemint gum are famous for using sets of twins.