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When a meeting of the Edgar Allan Poe Society at the Independence Inn is interrupted by a fire, Lorelai must find rooms for the guests at various homes around town. Forced to give up her own room, Lorelai spends the night at Luke's. Trying to decide among Harvard, Yale and Princeton, Lorelai and Rory make an extensive list of pros and cons for each school. Luke worries that Jess may be skipping school when he learns that Jess has been working a surprising number of hours at Wal-Mart. Rory visits a humiliated and hibernating Paris to deliver school assignments and a pep talk.
Lorelai: You all set up here?
Michel: Computer with internet, phones forwarded here and printer is on the way.
Miss Patty: And I'm the receptionist.
Babette: And I'm learning the computer.
Michel: And I'm looking for my cyanide capsule. Have you seen it?
Luke: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai: Yeah, and then I slip in, like it's a straightjacket.
Luke: Oh, you must feel at home there.
(while discussing whether Rory should go to Harvard or Yale next year; Lorelai and Rory are standing near Rory's wall covered in Harvard gear)
Rory: Look at my wall.
Rory: So, that wall says something.
Lorelai: Yeah, it says the Harvard merchandising department made a nice chunk of change off of us.
Babette: Hey Michel, I just hit F4 and the Num Lock key and the one with the little apple on it and it's freakin' out like it's on acid or something!
Kirk: Good morning, ladies. May I interest you in a shirt?
Lorelai: Aw, Kirk, you're not selling your laundry again, are you?
Luke: No solicitors, Kirk.
Kirk: How about if I cut you in for a piece of the action?
Luke: How about I toss the shirts out the door first so you can have something to land on?
Paris: I've been totally Howard-Hughesing it.
Howard Hughes is an obsessive-compulsive aviator and industrialist who tended to withdraw from society.
Paris: I'll get an apartment in Cambridge, buy a Harvard sweatshirt, talk about Mira Sorvino a lot.
Actress Mira Sorvino is a Harvard alumnus who graduated summa cum laude in 1990.
Lorelai: Hey, Shari Lewis, how's the show going?
Sharia Lewis is the puppeteer who created the popular Lamb Chop character from a sock.