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Gilmore Girls: A House Is Not a Home

Rescuing Rory after a night of reckless behavior with Logan, Lorelai is shocked to hear her daughter's plans for the future. Lorelai first turns to Richard and Emily for help, but soon realizes that Luke is the only person she can trust.

Episode Info

Episode number: 5x22
Production Number: 2T5322
Airdate: Tuesday May 17th, 2005

Alternate Airdates:

DE (Vox) Mar 28, 2006


Guest Stars
Alan LoayzaAlan Loayza
As Colin
Aris AlvaradoAris Alvarado
As Caesar
Emily KurodaEmily Kuroda
As Mrs. Kim
George Anthony BellGeorge Anthony Bell
As Prof. Bell
Grant-Lee PhillipsGrant-Lee Phillips
As Grant
James TupperJames Tupper
As Biker #2
John CabreraJohn Cabrera
As Brian
Kevin CristaldiKevin Cristaldi
As Biker #1
Michael WintersMichael Winters
As Taylor Doose
Sebastian BachSebastian Bach
As Gil
Tanc SadeTanc Sade
As Finn
Todd LoweTodd Lowe
As Zach
Laurel MoglenLaurel Moglen
As Davida
Main Cast
Lauren GrahamLauren Graham
As Lorelai Gilmore
Alexis BledelAlexis Bledel
As Rory Gilmore
Melissa McCarthyMelissa McCarthy
As Sookie St. James
Scott PattersonScott Patterson
As Luke Danes
Edward HerrmannEdward Herrmann
As Richard Gilmore
Kelly BishopKelly Bishop
As Emily Gilmore
Yanic TruesdaleYanic Truesdale
As Michel Gerard
Keiko AgenaKeiko Agena
As Lane Kim
Liza WeilLiza Weil
As Paris Gellar
Sean GunnSean Gunn
As Kirk Gleason
Episode Notes
Rating: 5.98 million viewers

In The Futon Critic's top episode list of 2005, this episode was ranked #30.

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Claudine LongetI Think It's Going To Rain Today 
Grant-Lee PhillipsMama Tired 
Ric MenckBig Blue Buzz 
Sam CookeChain Gang 

Episode Quotes
Richard: (to Lorelai) Rory will be taking some time off from Yale. She will move into the pool house here with us, we will help her find a suitable job, and then when sufficient time has passed, we will revisit the subject of her returning to school.

Rory: I'm not going back to Yale next year.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: I'm not going back to Yale next year.
Lorelai: But why?
Rory: Well, I just don't think it's the right place for me, and I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life.
Lorelai: Since when have you not known what you wanted to do with your life?
Rory: Mom --
Lorelai: You've known what you wanted to do since you were 4: be a journalist.

Luke: I know you think you have this thing handled, but I can help. First off, we call Yale, and we tell them something like, uh, Rory had a chemical imbalance and she was medically out of her mind when she told them she was dropping out. And then we get her out of your parents' house whatever way we can, and we lock her up in her room with you, 'cause you can talk her into this. You can talk anybody into anything. Then if worse comes to worst, we will drive her to school every day and we will follow her to class and camp out there to make sure she goes. I'll take morning classes, you take afternoon classes, or the other way around if it works out better for your schedule. And I know there's a few kinks to work out and the kidnapping might be a little problematic, but either way, she is not quitting school. This was her dream. I am not gonna let this happen.
Lorelai: Luke, will you marry me?
Luke: What?

Colin: I'm Colin and this is Finn. You are?
Lorelai: Her mother.
Finn: My God, those are good genes.

Lorelai: Oh, it's going to be nice to have you home for a while.
Rory: Oh, I'm glad you feel that way.
Lorelai: Yeah, the place hasn't had a decent dusting since you left.

Lorelai: The penal system is not something we enjoy. It's something with a name that makes us giggle.

Lorelai: Rory, what happened tonight?
Rory: I stole a yacht.
Lorelai: Yes, I know. The nice men with the guns told me.

Episode Goofs
During the scene where Lorelai and Rory are discussing the yacht stealing in the Jeep, Rory's hair changes positions between shots.

Cultural References
Episode Title: A House Is Not a Home

"A House Is Not a Home" is the title of a song that has been sung by Ella Fitzgerald, Perry Como, and Cher.

Zach: Well, geez, Dorothy, if Tinman and Lion are going to go, I guess I have to go too.

Dorothy, Tinman and Lion are all characters from the film The Wizard of Oz.

Finn: Maxwell Smart's finally found his 99.

In the 1960's spy spoof show Get Smart, Maxwell Smart is a secret agent and Agent 99 was in love with him.

Lorelai: I was just wondering. Is Rory in the system now? Because I just remember when Sipowicz's son accidentally got arrested because he looked like a drug dealer.

On the police drama NYPD Blue, Andy Sipowicz is the main character and a cop.

Lorelai: Mm. Twenty to life. Time off for a well-placed Tom Sizemore Whizzenator joke.
Rory: Don’t let the movies fool you, kiddies. Crime doesn’t pay.
(She walks toward the door. Lorelai follows her)
Lorelai: Listen, uh, later today I’m going to try and track us down a lawyer. I thought I’d call that guy who got Robert Blake off, what was his name, Houdini?

Tom Sizemore is an American actor who tried to pass a drug test using a device called the Whizzenator.
Harry Houdini was the stage name of Ehrich Weiss (1874-1926), one of the most famous magicians, escapologists, and stunt performers of all time as well as an investigator of spiritualists.

Lane: It’s not the Festival Express, but it could be really great.

The Festival Express was a 1970 music tour in Canada that included The Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin, and The Band.

Taylor: Look what Jane Fonda hath wrought.

Jane Fonda is an award-winning actress who is also a political activist.

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