The Substitute - Recap

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Sue announces that she's the principal, now that Figgins is out with the
flu (an illness she personally engineered). The same girl who sneezed on
Figgins sneezes on Will, and he's not doing so hot now, either. He has a
fever, but feels he should power through it. At least that's what he
thinks until he turns around. All his glee kids appear to be around 6-7
years of age. Mercedes notes that he looks a little green. Will says
he's going to go see the school nurse, but first he feels like he should
get the kids a sitter.

His ex, Terri, is there taking care of him. She's seeing a therapist,
and she's medicated as well. She wants to play sick baby, but Will
doesn't. He sends her away so he can die in peace. She throws Singing in
the Rain to him. After 16 years, she knows what he wants to hear when
he's sick.

Kurt cancels on Mercedes because Blaine invited him to hang out. He just
needs somebody like him to talk to. Mercedes sees the tater tots come
up, and she gets to the front of the line. Kurt says he has a substitute
for Spanish.

Said teacher is Holly Holliday. She starts the class by saying, in
Spanish, that Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right? She wants them to
repeat after her, with energy. Next; how many times has Lindsay Lohan
been in rehab? She's interrupted for a word with Kurt, so she has them
get into groups to discuss it. He wants her to take over glee club as
well. She was amazing in English class. He flashes back to the girl
group singing backup for her on "Conjunction Junction." She'd be honored.

Puck is buttering the floor for the sub. Artie tells Finn they're all
going to switch names. Rachel walks in and hits the butter. She's fine,
but the girls giggle at her anyway. When Holly hits the butter, she
slides across it and greets the group. Kurt falls next. She asks for
their names, they all lie, and she calls them on it. She watched their
regionals video. They were singing somebody else's favorite songs. What
do THEY want to do? She wants this to be fun. They should go outside,
but Mercedes says it's raining. they could smoke some weed (I wish!), or
maybe go to Taco Bell. Rachel says they can't goof off all day. They
need to create their set list. Holly agrees.

Puck tells her he asked if they could perform Cee-Lo, but Schue said no.
What would she know about Cee-Lo? She's like 40! She starts the song,
and everybody joins in on "F*** you".

Beiste is giving the boys a stern talking to. Sue cuts the football
team, and Beiste asks who the Cheerios will be cheering for. Sue says
she'll get back to her. Sue decides she needs a cause. She calls in
Becky to take a memo. She's banning tater tots. Becky says that's

Schuester is hallucinating. He performs "Make 'em Laugh" with Mike, and
Sam on piano. The doorbell rings, and he wakes up. It's Rachel, wearing
a surgical mask. He asks who gave Holliday the glee club. Rachel takes
credit for doing a fine job, until Kurt invited her. Will appreciates
her concern, but he's not worried. The kids love him. Rachel points out
that Sue doesn't. The longer he's gone, the more likely it becomes that
Holly is going to start running the glee club, and Will is going to
become the substitute.

Mercedes and Kurt are talking. He's going to bail on her again. Blaine
got tickets to Rent. While they are talking, the Cheerios come and throw
away all the tater tots (much to Mercedes' dismay). Santana and Brittany
tell Mercedes that Principal Sue took away the tots. If she has a
problem with it, she needs to see Sue. Sue tells her that like her idol,
Richard Millhouse Nixon, she only has what's best for her people in
mind. and also like RMN, this conversation is being recorded. She's
declaring a war on junk food.

Holly tells Rachel she sucks. She's too uptight. When's the last time
she did something fun. Even in glee club. Whatever Rachel wants to do,
she can do. Rachel says she needs a partner, and HOlly responds that she
thought she'd never ask.

Terri and Will chat about their life apart. She ask if he's happy, and
he says no. He feels like he's searching for something. She's got
something that will make him feel better. Mentholatum rub. He lies on
his stomach with his shirt off, and she gives him a massage that ins
inclusive of several kisses. He asks her to stop, but only because he
doesn't want to get her sick. She doesn't care, so he doesn't either.

Mercedes isn't amused with the dinner choices. Kurt tries to cheer her
up by setting her up with a fellow student. He's cute, but she's not

The guy that kissed Kurt strolls past the table. He winks at Kurt and
asks "what's up, homo".

Rachel and Holly do the closing number from "Chicago", inclusive of the
flapper dance routine.

Will shows up at work. He's still sick, but Sue tells him the kids
prefer the substitute, and so does she. He can't wait til Figgins comes
back, but she tells him that's not going to happen. The board has been
flooded with positive emails from parents, happy about her tough stance
on healthy food. So Figgins has been fired, and her position is
permanent. She sends Will home to rest. More than rest. He's fired.

Blaine and Kurt are talking about gay issues. They try to include
Mercedes, but it's not easy. Once she gets the waitress to take an order
for tater tots, she's back in the game. Kind of.

Will introduces himself to Holly Holliday. She wants to be polite, but
he wants to call her out. She tells the kids who are painting the choir
room to take five so they can have at it. He tells her she's a
substitute, so of course she can let the kids sing whatever they want
and paint murals. She tells him that 16% of kids drop out, and we can't
just expect them to sit up and pay attention. We have to give them a
voice. Will says he does that. He just doesn't let them run free. He's
the teacher; it's his job to know more than they do. She counters that
he doesn't know more about what they care about the most: Themselves.

She is honest with Will, finally. She tells him the economy sucks, and
good teaching positions are hard enough to come by. Especially ones in
the arts. she's sorry, but she can't turn this opportunity down. Will
doesn't respond, he just leaves.

Miss Holliday gave Mercedes permission to shove tater tots in Sue's
exhaust pipe. She did $17,000 worth of damage. Mercedes is giggling
until she finds out what she did was a felony. Sue asks Holly if she has
any idea what she's doing. Holly says no, not really. Holly shows up at
Will's and fills him in on what transpired. Will asks, but Holly doesn't
even know what Sue did to Mercedes because whenever things get
uncomfortable, she retreats. She says she was like Will until a few
years back. A student punched her. When she came to, her classroom was
empty and her Air Jordans were gone. Ever since then, she's been
flighty. It works for her, but it doesn't work for the kids. She's

Terri walks in and tries to play the wife card. Will counters that it's
the ex-wife card. Holly goes to leave, but not before commenting that
Will's wife is a bitch. Will tells her to stay put. He then tells Terri
that last night was a mistake. He knew that as soon as it happened. She
says she's feeling a little out of control, so she's going to leave, and
come back later. He tells her not to come back. She tells Will he's
going to regret this. When she leaves, Will asks Holly to tell him more
about this life with no consequences.

Kurt tells Mercedes she's substituting food for love. He really likes
Blaine, and he's not going to break it off with him. He never thought
he'd find anyone, but look at him! Mercedes will need to take care of
herself until she meets someone. And until then - treat herself with a
little respect.

Karofsky threatens to kill Kurt if he tells anyone about the kiss.

Will is ready to grovel for his job, but Sue tells him it's not
necessary. She didn't choose wisely when she chose Miss Holliday. All
the kids went to bat while Will was gone, and begged for her to bring
him back. So she's going to. But as a condition of not going to prison,
his kids are going to be responsible for getting her car back to mint

The kids give Mr. Schue a standing ovation when he gets back. They miss
Miss Holliday, even if they love him. He wants to do a song from Singing
in the Rain, and invites Holly to join them, so he could show them how
modern it can be. They do a mash-up of "Umbrella" and "Singing in the Rain".