The Sue Sylvester Shuffle - Recap
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The Cheerios are putting on an amazing performance, completely
over-the-top with fireworks and everything. However, Sue finds it
boring. Quinn speaks sharply to her, because it's not their fault that
Sue has ennui.
Over on the football field, Fin tells the team how proud of them he is.
They didn't even need to win this game to go to the next level, but they
stayed strong. Karofsky slurs Fin's sexuality, and Fin points out how he
seems to be talking crap all the time - yet Karofsky is the one who
never has a girlfriend. A couple of teammates stop him from physically
attacking Fin. He goes in a new direction, fumbling the ball and giving
the other team an easy touchdown.
In the locker room, a fight breaks out because the slurs on Glee Club
continue. Puckerman attacks one of the mouthy jocks, and after that it's
a free-for-all. Karofsky says "championship game or not, I am NOT
blocking for him!" Coach Bieste is fine with that, and Karofsky is off
Sue writes in her journal about how nothing phases her anymore. She's in
crisis. Might it be the raccoon hormones? She has no idea what to do.
Here she is, 31 and already a legend. She doesn't know how to top
herself. Seeing a cartoon about a cannonball, she thinks that's it. She
takes Becky with her to check out getting a cannonball to add to the act.
The team of jock losers realized they have yet to slushie Artie. They
decide to ignore the fact that Artie is in a wheelchair, and have at it.
Bieste talks to Will about the animosity between her team and the Glee
Club. Half the starting lineup is in Glee Club. Will asks Bieste if she
trusts him. "You're not going to kiss me again, are ya?" If he trusts
her - he thinks he knows how to get her team united again.
Artie arrives, and everybody is stunned to see what condition he's in.
That's IT. Fin, Puck and Sam are going to go end it. They don't have far
to go, because the other half of the team has arrived to check out the
"ladies lounge" where Glee Club practices. Coach Bieste told them to
report here. Will arrives and introduces the newest members of Glee
Club, and pandemonium breaks out. Rachel refuses to have a known
homophobe (Karofsky) in her Club. Mr. Schuester tells her he doesn't
disagree with them. But the kind of bullying Dave does is borne out of
ignorance. Having him in Glee Club, as difficult as it will be for them,
is an opportunity to show him and the rest of the guys that being in the
Glee Club is kind of cool.
Bieste tells the players that they will be in Glee Club for one week.
Karofsky says she's bluffing; the championship game is next week.
Without them, she has no team. Bieste retorts that WITH them, she has no
team. They either find a way to come together, or they're gonna get
their butts kicked.
Azimio says that if he has to sing, he's not singing no show tunes, that
is the music of his oppressors. Fin asks if they even have any idea what
they do in here. Will says no. None of them do. Will asks Rachel and
Puck to demonstrate. They agree, but glare daggers at the players as
they go. They perform "Need You Now" as Bieste lip-syncs along. Puck
sings directly to his teammates, glaring at them and grinning at Rachel.
The Glee members clap at the end, but Azimio says that the "girl with
the mohawk had a really nice voice." That's why they have to stop Puck
when he attempts to el kabong the moron with his guitar. Pandemonium,
Puck approaches Fin. He thinks they need to be allies again so they can
win the championship. Fin agrees. Sue shows the ladies her "Suclear
weapon", the cannon. Congratulations go to Brittany, who will be shot
out of the cannon. Brittany doesn't want to die until One Tree Hill gets
canceled. Sue says fine. She'll show Brittany it's safe by putting a
cheerleading dummy through a shot. Bits of cheerleader dummy are shot
everywhere, as Sue asks if anybody takes German, because she may need to
read the owner's manual. Quinn tells Brittany not to worry. She'll talk
to Mr. Schue and get this resolved.
Will and Sue are in Principal Figgins' office. He doesn't know what she
was thinking, they don't have enough insurance to cover a stunt like
this. Sue tries blowing it off as being just the same level of danger as
your average football game or hockey match. Will tries to talk her down,
but she thinks it's more important that she feel alive than that one of
her girls feels dead. Figgins says enough. She cannot fire anyone out of
that cannon without their consent. She walks out of his office, and
proceeds to trash the reception area. Figgins tells her that every penny
of the damage she does is coming out of her paycheck. As she starts in
the hall beyond, Figgins moans "Oh god" as Will shakes his head and
murmurs "It's a lawsuit."
Will is filling Bieste in on Sue's meltdown and Sue appears, destroying
the locker room. Bieste asks what she's doing, and Sue says she's
sending a message that she's done playing nice. She just got off the
phone with the Ohio Cheerleading Board, and they accepted her request to
move her regional to the same night as Bieste's championship game.
Congratulations. Bieste just lost her halftime show, and the
cheerleaders. She attacks Bieste's desk before leaving. Bieste doesn't
know what they're going to do now, but Will does.
He and Bieste inform the Club that they'll be doing the half-time show.
Azimio adamantly refuses. What about the cheerleaders? They get to
choose. The competition is huge, but if they go then they will miss Glee
Club doing the most iconic, amazing halftime show ever. They will be
performing "Thriller". He reminds them of that Phillipine prisoner
number that went viral on Youtube. During the four months of rehearsals,
prisoner-on-prisoner crime dropped by 80%. Karofsky actually looks
engaged in what he's hearing.
Mercedes loves Michael and all, but you can't exactly perform
outside-the-box to it. Will is happy to tell them that's why they're
going to be performing a mash-up of it with Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Heads Will
Roll." Biests tells the Titans and New Directions they're going to
Zombie Camp, and blows her whistle. Karovsky bumps into a fellow player,
and they start a shoving match. So far, everybody looks a little too
zombie-like. They each work alone on their moves, then come back
together, greatly improved. Five minute break, then back in the choir
room for some zombie makeup lessons. Azimio says no makeup, but Coach
Bieste says yes.
Will pulls Karofsky aside for a word. Dave tries to tell Will he knows
he's really bad, and would like to be spared the humiliation. Will tells
him the opposite. If he took the energy he uses for bullying and put it
into performing, he'd be one of the top talents in the school. Just
think about it.
The girls make up the guys, but Fin is working on his own when Dave
approaches him. He thinks they should do a warm-up act so they totally
kick ass when they do the main event. If he has to dance around like a
sissy, he wants to be so good at it that nobody can talk crap about him.
The girls don't know what to do: the halftime show, or go to the
Cheerios competition. Sue was eavesdropping. She typed up resignations
from the Glee Club for them. She also shows Brittany a hand-drawn
picture from the human cannon. It misses her. Quinn tells her that
getting Brittany killed. Is that really worth it, to win a national
championship? Seventh consecutive national championship. Quinn retorts
that this is ridiculous. Sue tells them they have to decide once and for
all where their loyalties lie. Choose the Cheerios, or choose the Glee
Club. They chose the Cheerios.
Fin can't believe they're quitting Glee Club. They were the ones who
were there for Quinn the last time Coach Sylvester dumped her. Quinn
says she feels awful, Sam shows up and asks Fin why he's yelling at his
girlfriend. Sam doesn't care that the girls quit Glee Club. He thinks
they need new leadership, since Fin is doing such a crap job of it. He's
had his feet in both worlds for a year, and never been able to bring
them together. Sam and Fin start shoving each other, and it's totally
weak and lame. Will breaks it up.
The football team performs "She's Not There" by The Zombies. The
non-Glee members bring it just as well as the Glee Club members. They
get applause and and an "AWESOME!" from Will. As they walk down the
hall, the hockey team approaches, bearing slushies. They'll be the top
dogs after the football team makes dancing fools of themselves at the
After the slushies are flung, Karofsky gets angry and declares that he's
quitting Glee Club. Coach Bieste tells him he's not. If he quits Glee
Club, he quits the team. Fin tries to talk him down, but he walks.
Karofsky quits the team, and the rest of the non-Glee players follow him
Over at Dalton Academy, the Warblers perform "Bills, Bills, Bills".
Blaine says they're ready for regionals.
Blaine, Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes talk music over coffee. They fill Kurt
in on what's been happening, and he's confused. He lives with Fin,
bringing him a glass of warm milk every night in the hopes they'll have
some lady chat. (Blaine: "Warm milk? Really?) Rachel says he's too proud
to complain, he feels like he has to be strong for everyone. Coach
Bieste put up a sign up sheet, they only have five players right now.
Blaine tells them that the good news is they only need four more guys,
per high school regulations. If they get those four guys, Kurt and
Blaine will be there to cheer them on.
The sign-up sheet is empty, and Bieste can't figure out why. She cut 30
guys at the start of the season. Where are they now? Will says it's like
crossing a picket line. Bieste and Will break the news to the club,
including the fact that they'll have to forfeit unless something
changes. The girl Glee Club members volunteer to fill the empty spots so
the game can go on. Will doesn't think Rachel has even seen a tackle
football game. Rachel makes it clear that they just need to be on the
field, not actually playing. When they snap the ball, the girls are just
going to lie there. Except Lauren. She's going to "bring the pain." The
girls got permission slips from their parents, and Bieste gratefully
Brittany tells Sue yet again that she doesn't want to die. Sue isn't
taking 'no' for an answer. Without her, the routine is going to be all
"boom boom" and no "POW!" Sue tricks her into signing the release/waiver
by telling her that the cannon has two baby cannons at home, and one on
the way. If Brittany doesn't sign, those baby cannons might just go hungry.
Dave Karofsky and the rest of the team approaches Fin and asks how he's
going to play with just five guys. He tells them it's not too late, but
Karofsky equates them playing to social suicide. The girls arrive, and
the players are stunned. What are they doing? Fin tells them "What you
don't have the balls to do." Karofsky looks abashed.
The game starts, and the opposing team intercepts the ball. The girls
are already tired of lying down all the time, they want to play. Fin
tells them not to get ahead of themselves. Tina gets knocked out, and
everybody has a major scare. Fin has an epiphany. He tells Sam to play
quarterback the rest of the game, and Puck that when the half ends, he
has to convince the rest of the team to do the halftime show, so they
can play the second half. He's leaving to go get the cheerleaders.
He catches them as the bus is loading and asks the girls to come back
with him. If it wouldn't hurt their reputation, which would they choose?
Sue is fine with killing Brittaney, and this is who they've sided with?
Brittany would choose Glee Club. He steps up to Quinn and says "I know
you. And you don't think you are, but you're strong enough to do this."
She agrees, and Santana does as well, since Sue put her on the bottom of
the pyramid. Sue tries to stop them, but they're not interested. Fin
brings back the girls. Sue calls after them that she has no performance
if they leave. Brittany calls back to her "sucks to be you."
Puckerman reams the football team a new one. They're a bunch of cowards,
so afraid of being called "geeks" or "losers" or "gay" that they settle
for being nothing. Azimio says it doesn't matter, Bieste won't let them
play. Puck says she will if they come out and do the halftime show.
Everybody is in but Karofsky.
The show starts, and it's amazing. Karofsky obviously wishes he was out
there, especially when he sees the crowd reaction. He runs out and joins
them. Kurt and Blaine rock out in the stands. The performance gets a
raucous standing ovation. The team gets ready for the second half.
Bieste tells them to leave on the zombie makeup, it might give them an
edge against the opposing team. Everybody get out there. "All of us?"
Coach Bieste returns "Yeah. All of us." Cheers erupt, and the guys hit
the field. She slaps Karofsky on the back and welcomes him back.
The opposing team pulls away from the howling, zombified Titans, much to
Will and Bieste's amusement. The game goes really well, and the team
starts bonding again. The Titans are behind 21-24, with only ten seconds
remaining. Bieste calls a timeout. Karofsky says it's over, but Fin says
it's not if the quarterback fumbles a snap. They come out of the huddle,
and all start moaning "brains" at the opposing players. The cheerleaders
join in, and soon the fans in the stands start chanting it. They psych
out the opposing team, who fumbles the ball. A Titan grabs it, and runs
it in for a touchdown!
Sue is being interviewed by Katie Couric. When she lost what would have
been her 7th consecutive win, she landed this interview as loser of the
year. Sue thought she was being interviewed for a ten most-fascinating.
Katie tells her that that's Barbara Walters. When asked how she copes
with being a bigger loser than the economy, Mel Gibson, Tiger Woods and
more, Sue responds that she's been drinking a lot of bleach. Katie asks
her how she feels, knowing that the rest of the Cheerios annual budget
is going to the Glee Club. Sue didn't know. Katie shows her a portion of
her interview with Will, wherein he stated that he's thrilled. Sue got
what was coming to her, and now they won't have to hold a bake sale to
pay for the bus to regionals. Katie asks Sue for her thoughts. Sue looks
at her, smiles and says "I hate you, Diane Sawyer."
Fin tells Karofsky he can't be a permanent part of Glee Club until he
apologizes to Kurt. Dave doesn't want to join. He did what he had to do.
He just won the conference championship. He's on top. Why would he want
to change things. As he leaves, Quinn thanks Fin for helping her to
reach the right decision. He was amazing this week, on the field and
off. It reminded her why she loved him. Quinn kisses Fin and leaves him
standing there, stunned.