Blame It on the Alcohol - Recap

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Figgins calls Will in for a meeting. They've had five suspensions this
week alone of kids showing up drunk. Another one shows up outside his
office, and Figgins says "six suspensions". Will doesn't get it. What's
changed? Pop music glorifies alcohol. Will wants to know how he can
help, and Figgins says he's going to have an assembly. He'd like Glee to

Will tells Emma he's tired of them not being friends. He heard she and
Carl are looking for a home, so he brought her a housewarming gift. Emma
wants to play catch-up, so he starts talking about Glee Club. That's not
what she had in mind. What about him, personally? Is he seeing anyone?
Maybe he should? Sue of course weighs in that he shouldn't, since he's
going to be going in for treatment. He's an alcoholic waiting to happen,
in her estimation.

Emma asks how it is that Sue is now coaching a glee club, and Sue says
she was so impressed by her stint with Will that she took the trip to
Westvale and volunteered her help. Unfortunately, the former coach had a
terrible fall down the stairs (we see Sue push him. He gets up, and he's
fine so she shoves him down the next flight as well). Emma still doesn't
get it, but Sue sets her straight. Leading a Glee Club is a sucky job
for losers. Nobody wants it. Except Sue. So she's in charge of Aural
Intensity. Before she leaves, she gives Will the AA book. Because when
he starts climbing those steps, she's going to be at the top to knock
him back down.

Puckerman puts the moves on Rachel because he heard she's home alone. He
wants to use her place this weekend for a party. She refuses. He leaves
as Finn and the piano player walk in. He asks how the new song is going,
and she says great, and she wants him to hear it. She hugs him to break
the ice. He sits down and she starts singing. Finn doesn't know what to
make of it, since it's a truly awful song about her headband. He
suggests she write about life and love, not inanimate objects. Rachel
needs to do a little living. She realizes Finn is right. It's alcohol
awareness week, and she's never even had a drink. Finn mutters that that
would explain why he never got past second base. She's leaving to find
Puckerman so they can have the party.

All the Glee kids start chatting about whether they want to go to the
party. Kurt and Blaine arrive. Rachel is wearing a gown from the 70's.
Quinn says she's having fun, while Santana and Sam are making out behind
her. Rachel has no idea how to have a party, so she hands out two drink
tickets per person and says their special today is a wine cooler.
Everybody is leaving. Dinner reservations. The party is a resounding
flop. Brittany, Artie, Mike and Tina head for the door. Rachel asks Puck
why everybody is leaving, so he tells her. The party sucks. Puck tells
Rachel he has to let her break into her dad's liquor cabinet. Nobody is
going to get buzzed off two wine coolers. He'll replace the booze before
they get home. Rachel reluctantly agrees, and the party takes off big time.

Finn maintains his equilibrium, since he's the designated driver. Kurt
is trying to impress Blaine, but clearly he's not trying to return the
favor. Rachel slow dances with Finn. He explains things to her. Santana
is a weepy, hysterical drunk. Lauren and Quinn are angry. Brittany is a
stripper drunk. Mercedes and Tina get happy. Rachel is the needy girl
drunk, and it's not cool. She hears him and decides it's time to play
spin the bottle. Brittany and Sam go first, and it's good. Santana
breaks it up. It's Rachel's turn. She kisses Blaine. First it's just
joking, but then it's good. Kurt interrupts. When it's over, Rachel
tells him his face tastes awesome. And she thinks she just found a new
duet partner. They take the stage and perform "Don't you want me, Baby".

Burt calls Kurt down to help him with eggs. He goes up to Kurt's room
and finds Blaine in his bed. He lets himself back out again, as Kurt
watches his reaction.

Everybody is hungover, and has been for 36 hours. The whole gang is
wearing sunglasses. Artie has a thermos full of bloody marys for a
little "hair of the dog". He performs "Blame it on the Alcohol" with
Puck and the club. The performance is great, but Will doesn't approve of
the message. He thinks they are acting like they've been drinking, and
Artie says that's because they take their craft seriously. For the
assembly, though, they're going to need a song that points out how bad
alcohol is for you. Good luck with that, Mr. Schuester.

After Will points out that roughly 400 people die every year from
alcohol-poisoning, Quinn calls him a hypocrite. He drinks. Most adults
do. Will says, yes. On occasion, he will have a drink. But he doesn't
get drunk. Puck pushes the point, and Will says enough. They need to put
on their thinking caps and brainstorm a good song for the assembly.

Will talks it over with Coach Beiste. Yes, when he was young, he drank.
He even had blackouts. Is he taking this way too seriously? Beiste
thinks so. Tomorrow night, she wants him to tag along with her for some
stress relief. They're going to a little place called Rosalita's
Roadhouse. Will asks if this is a honky tonk, and Beiste sings "You
ain't lived til you've seen me in a cowboy hat!" They both laugh.

Rachel makes a call to Blaine while he's hanging with Kurt. She asks him
out. Kurt laughs, but then asks why he's leading her on. He enjoyed the
kiss. Maybe he's not gay. He's never even had a boyfriend before. Maybe
he's bi. Kurt is angry. Bi just a term gay guys use when they want to
hold hands with girls, and feel like a normal person for a change.
Blaine can't understand why Kurt is so angry. Kurt says it's because he
admires and respects him for being out of the closet, and here Blaine
is, about to tiptoe back in. Blaine is happy for Kurt. He's 100% sure of
who he is. Fantastic. Maybe we all can't be so lucky. Blaine thinks Kurt
is being intolerant.

Will and Beiste have a blast at the bar. He's thrown off the mechanical
bull, and gets totally wasted. Beiste takes the mic with Will and they
perform "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer."

Kurt helps Rachel with party cleanup. She figures he's there to hear how
their date went, and it was lovely. They saw "Love Story" at the revival
theater. Kurt asks if they kissed, but no. The timing wasn't right. Kurt
mutters "or the blood alcohol level." Rachel lays things out. Blaine is
conflicted. If he turns out not to be gay, then she'll be doing Kurt a
favor. He says he's doing her a favor by telling her that Blaine is the
first in a long line of conflicted men that Rachel will date. They may
have a lot in common, but the one thing they will never have is
chemistry. She says she's going to kiss Blaine sober. If the spark is
still there, then she will take Kurt to the bakery of his choice for a
piping hot slice of humble pie.

Sue gets Will home. He's wasted, she's fine. Beiste blames her hollow
leg. Will tells Beiste that he had a blast. He hasn't had this much fun
in a very long time. She points out that you can't stop kids from
drinking. All you can do is tell them all the dangers and hope they make
the right decision on their own. She kisses him goodbye and tells him
she loves him. Will says "Backatcha!". After she leaves, Will grades
papers, drunk. He also dials drunk, shooting for Emma.

Will shows up horribly hungover at school. He remembers dialing drunk,
but it wasn't Emma he called.

Sue is going to put Will in a 48-hour intervention hold.

Kurt and Burt are working on a souffle. Kurt is just in a bad mood,
because of Blaine. Burt confronts him about being inappropriate in his
house. Nothing happened, Kurt was sober, but that's not Burt's point. He
says he wouldn't want it happening with Finn having a girl sleep over,
either. It's just not okay. Kurt makes it about him acting on being gay,
but he's wrong. He apologizes and promises it won't happen again, then
turns back to ask Burt to step outside of his comfort zone. That way if
Kurt has questions, he can go to his dad like any straight kid would.

Backstage before New Directions performs, Brittany has a bit of stage
fright. Rachel offers them a cocktail of whatever was left in her dads'
liquor cabinet. Everybody drinks up. They do good when they start but
then the alcohol hits. Brittany says I don't feel good, but Rachel tells
her to keep going. Brittany hurls on Rachel, and then says "everybody
drink responsibly." Sue gets on the PA system and plays Will's drunken
voice mail. He's mortified. Sue says that's the first step to recovery.

The Glee Club is called into Figgins' office. He's happy to tell them
that they did an awesome thing. He thought the sickness was special
effects. They scared everybody straight. Also, he whispers to Will that
he spoke to his pastor about Will's sex and love addiction, and his
pastor would like to meet with him.

Will has words with the kids. He'll stop drinking too. He says he has
plenty in his life without beer. He only wants them to stop until after
nationals. If they fall off the wagon, they're supposed to call him so
he can drive them home. They got lucky this time. Finn asks about after
they win nationals, and Will says he'll buy the sparkling cider.

Kurt and Rachel are waiting for Blaine. He arrives, and she plants one
on him. The minute he regains his lips, he says "I'm gay. 100% gay." He
thanks her for clearing that up for him. For her, it was amazing. This
is writing gold. She has to go compose. She thanks Kurt.