Emma calls the meeting of the celibacy club to order. That's Quinn and
Rachel. In the last meeting, Rachel spent the hour quizzing Quinn about
the nature of her relationship with Finn. Quinn refuses to answer. She's
there to work on herself, and so is Rachel. Finn is kryptonite, and
she's going to focus all of her efforts on her songwriting. Emma says
she's very inspired that both of them are looking at celibacy as a
viable alternative for teens who simply aren't ready for intimacy, and
for those who are older, and who are terrified of the hose monster. She
has a chastity charm, whereby the girl always keeps the key. Rachel has
a question, and Emma refuses to entertain it. Don't be curious. Wait
until your honeymoon. Maybe even later.
At lunch, she tells Will how disappointed she is. He's perplexed, he
thought she wanted the charms to catch on. She did, until she realized
they were wearing the charms as clip-on nipple rings. He tells her to
keep on fighting the good fight. He's seen how an expected pregnancy can
turn a teen's life upside down.
Holly arrives, and Will is overjoyed. She's substitute teaching again.
The health and wellness teacher is out with a mad case of the herp.
Yikers. He gives her a big hug, and manages to forget Emma's name when
it's time to introduce her. Emma asks why Holly doesn't think celibacy
is an option. Oh, it's an option. Just not a logical one. She recently
read that 90 high school girls in Memphis got pregnant in one
three-month period. It's time to shake things up. Information is power!
And seriously, some of his Glee kids are among the most uninformed. She
and Emma bump heads. She thinks Emma is willfully naive.
Brittany thinks she's pregnant. Santana promises her lips are sealed,
and three people later, Artie knows he's gonna be a baby daddy. In Glee
Club, Brittany announces she knows where babies come from. She's not
stupid. A stork is building a nest outside her window. It's obviously
getting ready to bring her baby to her. She thinks it's a boy.
Will fills Holly in on what happened with Brittany. She thinks they
should teach the kids about sex the sneaky way, like when you put
vegetables in foods they like so they don't know they're eating
something they don't like. She asks him how his sex life is, and Will
says he's the president of the celibacy club. Holly pronounces that a
waste of some fine man butt. Will looks startled.
Will brings sex-ed to Glee Club. They're very happy to see Holly. Most
of them are, anyway. Holly hits all the low points, and at least two
people are clearly uncomfortable (Will and Rachel). Rachel asks about
those of them who choose to be celibate? Holly dubs them naive and
possibly frigid. She performs "Do You Wanna Touch Me." Will responds.
Brittany and Santana dance along. After awhile the entire group is
performing. Will holds up a sign that says "Too much?" in red. In
closing Holly announces that when you have sex with someone, you're
having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with. "And everybody's got
a random." Brittany looks apprehensive.
Sue Sylvester approaches Kurt and Blair at their coffee shop. She fills
them in on New Directions new direction, i.e., sex appeal. She leaped to
that erroneous conclusion by seeing 'sexy' written on the board in Glee
Club. The key to regionals is outsexing them. Judges might even give
extra credit for steamy performances. So quid pro quo, what does Kurt
have for her? Kurt tells her they're not in cahoots. She informs him he
just made a powerful enemy. Blair decides the Warblers need to do
Emma marches into the lunch room and tells Will she's very disappointed
in him. In the interest of fair play, he gives her equal time. The
celibacy club can come in and do a number. She's happy to hear it.
Lauren has reached a really strange conclusion. She wants to be famous,
therefore they should make a sex tape. Puck is happy it's happening,
regardless of the reason behind it.
The Warblers perform for an all-girl school to get their feedback on the
regionals planned performance. They perform "Animal". Kurt takes the
co-lead and has a blast but Blaine looks like something is terribly
wrong. He talks to Kurt when they're done singing. He thinks Kurt looks
like he has gas. Kurt doesn't know how to do "sexy" when he has as much
sexual knowledge as a baby penguin. Blaine assures him they'll figure
Brittany wants to talk to Santana about when they're together. She
thinks it's better when feelings are part of it. She's conflicted.
Brittany thinks they should talk to someone about what they're doing.
Puck and Lauren tell Holly about their intentions. She says not a good
idea, as they would then be guilty of child pornography. End of discussion.
The somebody Brittany and Santana decide to talk to is Holly. Neither of
them knows if they are a lesbian. Brittany says she doesn't know how she
feels, because Santana refuses to talk about it. She suggests they use
music to open a dialog. Santana has an idea in mind, but she says Holly
would have to help them.
Kurt and Blaine find out that no matter what face Kurt thinks he's
making, they all look the same, and they're more like angry. Kurt says
he even tried watching those movies, and the only place his imagination
took him was worry about the actors, what were they thinking, and they
were all kids once, and what would their moms say? Kurt prefers romance.
Blaine says he'll have to learn someday. Yes, someday. Not today.
Will wants to perform Prince's "Kiss" as a tango. It's amazing. Hot.
They kiss, and he asks her out. She says she's damaged goods. Terrific
in bed, yes; but she destroys good guys.
Blaine talks to Burt about Kurt's innocence. Blaine thinks he's amazing,
and he admires Burt and Kurt's relationship. He doesn't want Kurt to
have to find out for himself. He won't do it, and Kurt will be caught
unaware if things get out of hand. Burt needs to talk to him. He
apologizes for overstepping.
Brittany, Santana and Holly perform "Landslide." Holly sings to Will.
Toward the end, Santana starts fighting back tears. She tells Brittany
that's how she feels. The girls hugs. Rachel makes a smart remark, and
Santana fires back. Rachel doesn't get to label her.
Puckerman joins the celibacy club. Emma tells him that they're going to
perform for the Glee Club. Puck points out that while him with three
women is just a normal Saturday night, it's not a good balance for
music. They need another guy. Emma says she has that covered.
The celibacy club, featuring Carl (Emma's husband) perform "Afternoon
Delight." It's obvious that Emma has no idea what the song is about. She
thinks Afternoon Delight is actually a dessert. She even knows the
ingredients. Carl tells Holly that he and Emma need an appointment.
Burt picked up some pamphlets from the free clinic. Kurt promptly plugs
his ears and bursts into song. He wants Kurt to not just go for the
action. He needs to have some feelings for his partner before he goes
there. Because it's two guys, and they both think it's "just sex",
Kurt's going to have to be even more careful that he doesn't just
completely detach sex from emotions. Burt jokes that Kurt should wait
until he's 30. He stresses use it to connect. Kurt matters. He thanks
Burt for doing right by him.
Emma and Carl meet with Holly. Carl is quick to tell her that they've
been married five months, and they've yet to consummate their
relationship. She's just never been comfortable enough to follow
through. They cuddle, he makes her special dinners, he buys her roses.
Every time he tries to touch her, she bursts into fits of giggles. Holly
asks in all honesty and sincerity. "Are you still in love with Will
Schuester?" Carl has been wondering the very same thing, but he was
afraid to ask. She can't say no. Her feelings are confused. Carl tells
Emma that she and her feelings can stay at the condo. He'll be at the
Raddison. He thanks Holly before he leaves.
Emma asks Holly not to say anything about this to Will. No, no; of
course not. Her lips are sealed. Just like Emma's legs. Oh, no! That was
Santana asks for a moment with Brittany. She thanks her for performing
that song with her in Glee Club. It made her do a lot of thinking. She's
an angry young woman. She has all of these feelings for Brittany that
she's afraid of dealing with. Brittany doesn't get it. Santana says it
straight out. She wants them to be a couple, but she's afraid of how
people would react. Anyway. She loves Brittany. She doesn't want to be
with anybody but Brittany. She wants to hear that Brittany loves her,
too. Brittany says it. And she'd totally be with Santana, if it weren't
for Artie. She loves him, too. She says if they ever break up, she'll
look Santana up. Santana is heartbroken.
Lauren walks past and calls Puck a nerd. He speaks honestly to her. He
likes wooing her. She kisses him, and says she's going to join the club,
Rachel took over celibacy club for Emma. Puck notices Quinn has a
hickey. She reminisces about being in bed with Finn. She tells him she
made a mistake with Puck. Finn should have been her first. They kiss.
Holly got some parental complaints, and she's going to go teach algebra
at another school. She's not getting any younger. Maybe Will can be
something more than a passing fancy. She wants to learn a little
something about romance. They kiss. Share this article with your friends