The episode begins up at church. It's Ripp's turn to do the reading and it's from Matthew 5:39. Carlene looks on with pride which turns into consternation when she spies Luke coming to the sermon late and sitting next to Amanda; much to her anger and frustration. Carlene then sings a beautiful song; with everybody looking on impressed. Luke looks on proudly and tells Amanda that he thinks Carlene's voice is a gift from God; expressing his delight and admiration for Carlene’s voice. Amanda looks poleaxed; on hearing Luke admire Carlene so fondly. After the service, Carlene announces that it is that time of year again.
Ripp and she are coming up on their 17th anniversary and this year's theme is "Gone with the Wind," and of course everyone in the congregation is invited, for the celebration. Meanwhile, Sharon tells the pastor how thrilled she is because finally she is going to be the matron of honor; she looks visibly delighted to be entrusted with the responsibility of being the maid of honor. Pastor Tudor is clueless about why this is such a big deal, but Sharon tries to explain to him the reason why it matters so much. He looks like he really wishes she wouldn't, from his expressions. Amanda asks Luke if he and Carlene are close. He tells her yes, and invites her to be his date to the renewal. She declines because of the tension between her and Carlene; much to Luke’s disappointment.
Meanwhile, Carlene decides that she needs to take this week's sermon to heart. That does not stop her from making Heather squirm a bit before forgiving her for "stealing" Burl's land from her. Heather has come back to her frenemies now that Andrew has decided that she might be too much like his ex. Cricket is being particularly prickly, at the present moment. When Luke tells Carlene that he wants to bring Amanda as his date, she reminds him that he can't since he's the best man and that means he has to escort someone from the bridal party. He asks her to bend, for the occasion, making it amply clear what he really wants. Of course she says no, but relents and gives the matron of honor parasol to Amanda; clearly against her wishes. Sharon is visibly crushed by this act of hers. All out of proportion of everything, she is completely shattered. Sharon brings over the matron of honor bible and it is enormous, from the looks of it. She tells Amanda that she has to host the shower and that the theme is rods *wink*wink* and the bachelorette party which is totally a girl's night type thing. At the shower, Cricket and Sharon ask how she could have not labeled food content. Did she want to kill the guests? Cricket assures her that she has an epi pen, just in case. During the exchange of gifts, Amanda realizes that all the gifts are religious; much to her shock and horror.
She is mortified when her gift buzzes so hard that it flies across the table; much to everyone’s surprise. She dresses to kill for the bachelorette party, thinking that this will be okay, given the theme of the party. Only when she arrives at the airport, it turns out that the trip isn't so much Vegas as a hunting party (Carlene wants to provide the meat for the reception); much to her shock and dismay. Sharon kind of forgot to mention that; it seems like she did it deliberately, from the look of things. Later at the lodge, as Sharon sharpens her actual hunting knives, she also sharpens her claws on Amanda's insecurities about Luke, telling her that they all call the vows a curse on Luke's relationships since he's brought 16 different girls to them and all the relationships stopped shortly after the party; thus trying her best to make Amanda feel as insecure as possible. Amanda has it out with Carlene and accuses her of trying to sabotage her relationship with Luke via Sharon; as she quickly realizes what Carlene’s game is.
Carlene has no idea what she's talking about; and feigns complete ignorance regarding the matter. They argue, with Carlene telling Amanda that she was sincere. Amanda storms back to the lodge; visibly angry at the whole situation. When Carlene yells at her to leave the gun, Amanda throws down her rifle down in anger. It promptly goes off and into Carlene's buttocks. Carlene is going to be fine it turns out, but sore. Everyone seems to think it was on purpose, and done by Amanda completely out of spite, and during that whole argument, Amanda reveals that Luke lost the marriage certificate. Carlene faints, on hearing this shocking news. There is much caterwauling. Carlene cannot believe she has been living in sin. Ripp assures her that this can be fixed (he thinks), but she is inconsolable. Amanda apologizes to Luke, but he says its okay; but clearly it’s not, from the look of things. They then argue over his past. He points out that he believes she changed, why she can’t believe him. She's too scared and scarred from Bill though.
Sharon goes over to Carlene to sympathize, bearing treats; to make her feel better to a certain extent, and also with a hidden agenda. Carlene is not interested and when Sharon asks about the matron of honor parasol, Carlene shoots her down because of course there isn't going to be a renewal and why does she care so much anyway since no one cares about the stupid matron of honor! Sharon leaves in a huff, genuinely upset over it all, and completely shocked with Carlene’s behavior. Carlene is too stoned on Vicodin to care, how Sharon might have felt about the whole thing. Carlene tells her maid to take away all the wedding things and to throw them out; as she clearly is frustrated and angry at how things have turned out. Amanda takes them from her to store until Carlene changes her mind; instead of following Carlene’s instructions. While carrying the pile,
Amanda stumbles and drops everything, including the top tier of the wedding cake. When Amanda goes to pick up the cake box, she finds the marriage certificate in the empty box; much to her surprise. She takes the certificate to City Hall to file, but Luke who is there tells her nothing doing. The clerk says no. Amanda tries to flirt her way into his good graces, but the clerk is all nothing doing, because he was one of the people she was mean to once upon a time. She flashes him her boobs to get him to file the certificate retroactively. The renewal is back on; thanks to Amanda’s persistence. Sharon is the matron of honor and she and Carlene reconcile, and move past their recent differences.
Cricket and Heather make up too, from the look of things. Earlier Blake asked Cricket for another baby. She told him no. While hunting, she and Heather talk and she realizes she does want children, she's just afraid Blake will leave her. He promises he's there to stay, and would never leave her for anything in the world. The episode ends. Share this article with your friends