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Good Eats: Mission: Poachable
Alton receives word that “The Frenchman” has escaped confinement at the Home for the Culinarily Insane! The sinister mastermind is determined to make the world pay for neglecting the art of poaching food! Alton must assemble a team to stop the madman. He needs men who are ruthless and fearless, but since he can't have that, he'll settle for puppy dog loyal. And en route to the Frenchman, Alton shares a recipe for Poached Egg Tips and demonstrates the creation of Court Bouillon, an excellent choice for poaching delicately flavored meats. In the final showdown it’s The Frenchman’s Sea Bass versus Alton’s Catfish au Lait!
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Episode Info
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Episode number: 3x11 Production Number: EA1C13 Airdate: Wednesday January 31st, 2001 |
Recap
A cool female voice initiates an agent search. A satellite locator zeroes in on the agent: from the United States to Georgia to Atlanta to a suburban home inside which the agent is... climbing the shelves of a pantry. Feet struggle for purchase on shelves to tomatoes and other canned goods. The man slips and falls, catches himself and dangles... inches above the floor. Finally he drops the last six inches and pulls a canister of flour from a shelf. From the powdery contents he retrieves a pair of mirrored sunglasses. As soon as he dons them a message plays across the lenses. “The Frenchman” has escaped from the Home for the Culinarily Insane outside Leone. The Frenchmen sees that grilling and blackening have pushed aside poaching as a cooking technique and he means to make the world pay for that!..Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Cards
- Feathering – the tendency of the thinner, outer egg white to spread in the pan.
- Since the membrane surrounding the yolk dissolves with time, fresh eggs are best for poaching.
- (Discussing the use of poached eggs with a vinegary salad.)
Why vinegary? Because the fat in the yolks will join up with the oil in the dressing and mask the dressing’s acidity.
- Besides high protein foods, fruits such as pears and stone fruits can be poached in a light syrup or even ginger ale.
- If you would rather skip the wine (in Court Bouillon), use vegetable broth with a shot of wine vinegar.
- Never use ground or cracked peppercorns in place of whole (in Court Bouillon).
- [Water] is a key ingredient. If it doesn’t taste good at the tap, use bottled.
- For more on boiling, check out the “Physicist on the Roof” scene in “Jam Session.”
- For fool proof poaching, bring liquid to a boil then reduce and hold as close as possible to the food’s target temperature.
- Court bouillon can be reused several times. It can also be frozen.
- Since some of its sugars caramelize during reduction, evaporated milk has a slightly sweet flavor. To use evaporated milk in a recipe calling for fresh simply mix with equal parts [water]. Very cold evaporated milk can be whipped like whipping cream.
- Covered liquids always heat faster than uncovered liquids.
- Other candidates for milk poaching: shark, halibut, monkfish, bluefish.
Paul the Intern's qualifications to join Alton's team: human shield, whipping boy, scape goat, and patsy! Sometimes you actually do not want to know what is in your personnel file!
(Appears as a subtitle) Strange but true: "wet" heat can dry out foods even quicker than "dry" heat.
(Appears as a subtitle) Since it breaks down into bitter particles when cooked, even small amounts of liver can ruin a batch of stock or court bouillon.
At the very end of the episode, the words 'The End' appear over an image of The Frenchman's hat floating in his lake of court bouillon. Then a hand reaches for and recovers the hat, and a question mark appears after the word 'End' suggesting that perhaps The Frenchman will return...
Music
| Artist | Song Title | Played When |
| Lalo Schifrin (re-arranged by Patrick Belden) | music from "Mission Impossible (1966)" |
Episode Quotes
Computer Voice: Initiating agent search... (a targeting satellite zeroes in, first on the United States, then on Georgia, Atlanta, and finally a brick house and the pantry inside) ...agent located.
The Frenchman: I stood by as you grilled, seared and blackened your food into charcoal while the fine art of poaching was abandoned to languish! Now, I will make you pay for your lack of vision! <evil laughter>
Control Voice: Your mission, should you decide to accept it, intercept and neutralize the Frenchman. Of course if you or any member of your team are killed or captured, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Alton: Well thanks a lot!
Alton: Well thanks a lot!
Alton: Having dealt with the Frenchman before, I knew I’d need a team that was both ruthless and fearless. Of course my intern Paul was neither, but he was puppy dog loyal so: He would be my eyes and ears in the field. W would handle the hardware with her usual warmth and charm while my new Iron Curtain comrade The Doctor crunched the science.
Alton: Note – generally poaching refers to cooking by submersion in a liquid held at just under the simmer (Poaching liquid temperature is 185° according to onscreen text.)
Alton: Note – it would seem that the gentle, moist heat of the poaching liquid would be the perfect environment for a number of high protein foods, which ordinarily tend to dry out and overcook. For instance, eggs, and... chicken, and tender cuts of pork and of course, fish!
(About the Frenchman)
Paul the Intern: He’s at the market, sir, over.
Alton: (to himself) I knew it. I knew it. (over the radio) Uh, what’s he doing, over?
Paul the Intern: Shopping, sir, over.
Alton: This I could figure for myself, Paul! What for, over?
Paul the Intern: He’s at the market, sir, over.
Alton: (to himself) I knew it. I knew it. (over the radio) Uh, what’s he doing, over?
Paul the Intern: Shopping, sir, over.
Alton: This I could figure for myself, Paul! What for, over?
Paul: Oh, geez… he just stole form some old lady’s cart!
Alton: The gall!
Paul: He… he’s French, sir, of course he’s a Gaul!
Alton: The gall!
Paul: He… he’s French, sir, of course he’s a Gaul!
Alton: Note – Court Bouillon is nothing more than three simple components: acidic liquid, aromatic vegetables, and herbs.
The Frenchman: Welllll... bonjour, Monsieur Paul! (He laughs evilly.)
The Doktor: Heat is heat – this is true, yes?
Alton: Yes...
The Doktor: No matter if is wet or dry. If heat gets too high, then the meat will be squeezed into dryness. So what do we learn from poaching at this temperature?
Alton: Well, let’s see... uh, you’ve got to be there, you’ve got to watch it very closely or else it’ll move from undercooked to overcooked very fast... ahhhh, it’s complicated! Why even bother with poaching?!?
The Doktor: There is simple solution! We work it out in seventies! (exuberant) Brezhnev understoooood!
Alton: Doc, I’m trying to save the world from a madman, here.
The Doktor: Maintain liquid at temperature that you desire final food to be.
Alton: Yes...
The Doktor: No matter if is wet or dry. If heat gets too high, then the meat will be squeezed into dryness. So what do we learn from poaching at this temperature?
Alton: Well, let’s see... uh, you’ve got to be there, you’ve got to watch it very closely or else it’ll move from undercooked to overcooked very fast... ahhhh, it’s complicated! Why even bother with poaching?!?
The Doktor: There is simple solution! We work it out in seventies! (exuberant) Brezhnev understoooood!
Alton: Doc, I’m trying to save the world from a madman, here.
The Doktor: Maintain liquid at temperature that you desire final food to be.
Paul the Intern: I think we’ve run into a little problem, sir...
Alton: Specify!
The Frenchman: Give me that phone! (taunting Alton) Hey, there, fuzzy headed boy! Looks like I got your apprentice, huh?
Alton: (grimly) He’s going down!
Alton: Specify!
The Frenchman: Give me that phone! (taunting Alton) Hey, there, fuzzy headed boy! Looks like I got your apprentice, huh?
Alton: (grimly) He’s going down!
Alton: The Frenchman had told me that if I ever wanted to see Paul alive again, I had to meet him for a one on one poaching showdown. Not that I really cared about Paul that much, but, hey, there’s cooking pride here!
Alton: (after discovering that his intern Paul now serves The Frenchman) Who knew he had a brain to wash?
Alton: You know, Paul, we've really just scratched the surface of poachable foods. After this, well, there's mousselines, sausages, pears, mushrooms, heck, all perfectly poachable. Not to mention ...
Paul the Intern: Bien manger? Um, I meant to say...
Alton: Good Eats!
Paul the Intern: Bien manger? Um, I meant to say...
Alton: Good Eats!
Cultural References
The entire episode is an homage and parody of Mission: Impossible (1966) and of the movies it spawned. Just like Alton does, the Impossible Missions Force rose to the challenge of stopping maniacs and deadly criminals week after week. The team's taped instructions always ended with your mission, should you decide to accept it... Bits in the episode include: the climbing scene at the beginning (from the first film), the glasses (from the first film), assembling the team (from early episodes and the films), the twisted villain, megalomaniacal plot and even the music!
The Frenchmen tells Alton that he will pay for his lack of vision. In 1983’s Return of the Jedi, the Emperor said the same think to Luke when he realized Luke would not turn to the dark side. In each case, the villain is chagrined when he understands that his opponent does not embrace his plan for the larger world. Like the Emperor, the Frenchman is the sort of megalomaniac who is unable to understand why folks would oppose him...
W, a sendup of James Bond's gadgeteer Q makes another appearance here. She helps Alton select the right spatula for fish.
Episode References
One of the title cards instructs viewers to seek a more complete explanation of boiling in the “Physicist on the Roof” scene from “Jam Session.” Jam Session teaches the creation of blueberry jam and describes basic canning techniques. The "Physicist..." scene illustrates how boiling is a function of both temperature and pressure (and therefore indirectly, altitude).
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