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Good Eats: Dip Madness
Chef Paul, host of the Food TV’s popular “Great Eats” show, visits the “Beard Home for the Culinarily Confused” and his friend “AB” who is confined there. Seems that “AB” developed a little obsession over his script for a show on “dips” and his attempt to devise a “Unified Dip Theory.” With the theory, AB could complete his script and return. But that’s all in the future and Chef Paul needs help now, and he gets it by mining AB’s research. In the end, though, will AB turn the tables? Learn about Chicken Liver Mousse, how to make better Guacamole than you can buy, Hot Spinach and Artichoke Dip, and finally, how to make Onion Dip from Scratch.
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Episode Info
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Episode number: 6x8 Production Number: EA1F08 Airdate: Wednesday October 16th, 2002 Writer: Alton Brown
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Recap
Chef Paul, host of Food TV’s popular “Great Eats” show, visits the “Beard Home for the Culinarily Confused.” He is here to visit his friend “AB” whom he has not seen in over three years. AB is obsessed with working on his script about dips. The final part of the script is the “Unified Dip Theory.” With it, AB can complete his script and make his triumphant return...Read the full recap
Episode Notes
Cards
- The age-old dip dilemma, the broken chip, was solved with the invention of the ridged chip.
- During its heyday in the 1960’s, onion dip was better known as California Dip.
- The Fuerte avocado is one of 500 species of this fruit. Like all avocados, it is a great source of energy because of the high protein and oil content.
- Lemon or lime juice can also be used to keep cut apples from browning.
- A mousse can be hot or cold, sweet or savory, but it must always be smooth and creamy to be called a mousse.
After the production credits, there’s a short scene where Chef Paul tries unsuccessfully to talk his way out of the Beard Home after Alton has absconded with his pass.
Episode Quotes
(Chef Paul visits Alton at the Beard Home for the Culinarily Confused)
Chef Paul: Hi, AB.
Alton: Paul? Is it you? Well, gosh... how long’s it been.
Chef Paul: I don’t know, maybe...
Alton: (interrupting) Oh, well let me guess! Two years, three months! What’s the matter, big time TV chef?!? The driveway too short for your limousine?? And after all I did for you...
Chef Paul: Hi, AB.
Alton: Paul? Is it you? Well, gosh... how long’s it been.
Chef Paul: I don’t know, maybe...
Alton: (interrupting) Oh, well let me guess! Two years, three months! What’s the matter, big time TV chef?!? The driveway too short for your limousine?? And after all I did for you...
Alton: I’m... thi-i-is close to finding the Unified Dip Theory, and once I do, this script will finally be done, and I’ll make my triumphant return to... (Good Eats theme plays)
Alton: In order to qualify as a dip, the candidate substance must be able to maintain constant contact with its transport mechanism over three feet of white carpet.
Chef Paul: Garlic powder never delivers!
Alton: It never delivers because people don’t give it a chance to. It’s got to rehydrate. I mean, if you just go and toss garlic powder into tomato sauce, you’re never going to get any flavor because the acid in the tomato just eats...
Orderly: (off-camera) Hey, Brown, do you need your pill?
Alton: No, no, I’m good... I’m fine... I’m calm, thank you...
Alton: It never delivers because people don’t give it a chance to. It’s got to rehydrate. I mean, if you just go and toss garlic powder into tomato sauce, you’re never going to get any flavor because the acid in the tomato just eats...
Orderly: (off-camera) Hey, Brown, do you need your pill?
Alton: No, no, I’m good... I’m fine... I’m calm, thank you...
Alton: You can make an American dip out of just about anything, as long as you stick to a basic formula: creamy base plus one to two main ingredients, usually the ones the dip is named for, and then no more than three supporting seasonings (excluding salt, of course).
Alton: It is so weird that it is a fruit and yet it contains twenty percent fat. Not weird enough for you? Fine. It is so weird that the leaves produce a hormone that prevents the fruit from ripening as long as it’s on the tree. Falls off, it ripens – but only in the presence of oxygen, ladies and gentlemen. That’s right, you put an avocado in a plastic bag and it doesn’t ripen – it rots!
(Demonstrating how to remove an avocado pit from a knife)
Alton: Peasant number one checks out the lay of the land. How’s he going to play this one? Brute force and ignorance, it seems. Oh, ho, ho. That almost never pays off.
(Peasant #1attempts to force the pit off)
Alton: (to Peasant #1) Might want to slap a leech on that! (to Peasant #2) Peasant number two, dost think thou will fare better?
(Peasant #2 tries to worry the pit off with his teeth)
Alton: A unique dental approach. I’ve never seen that before. I hope never to see that again.
Alton: Peasant number one checks out the lay of the land. How’s he going to play this one? Brute force and ignorance, it seems. Oh, ho, ho. That almost never pays off.
(Peasant #1attempts to force the pit off)
Alton: (to Peasant #1) Might want to slap a leech on that! (to Peasant #2) Peasant number two, dost think thou will fare better?
(Peasant #2 tries to worry the pit off with his teeth)
Alton: A unique dental approach. I’ve never seen that before. I hope never to see that again.
Alton: Cold turns down the volume on flavor, right? I mean, if you correct the seasoning while the dip is cold, then later when you turn it up to room temp, it’s going to be all out of whack!
Alton: I, for one, don’t think there’s enough onion in the world to cover up the nasty taste of beef liver.
Episode Goofs
Alton discusses polyphenol oxidase, an enzyme that turns green and yellow pigments brown. He mentions that a version of this enzyme causes human skin to tan and then says George Hamlin has more of it than the rest of us. He actually means George Hamilton, an actor famous for his tan (he has even used his tan to advertise baked snack chips).
Cultural References
The Beard Home for the Culinarily Confused, a warehouse for chefs who have come unglued, is doubtless named for celebrity cook James Beard.
Entering the Beard Home, Chef Paul remarks on receiving his green pass that he "can't leave without it." The remark and the pass send up a series of American Express card advertisements from the 1990's, made most famous by actor turned pitchman Karl Malden, who concluded each spot by telling viewers, "Don't leave home without it."
Alton refers needs a Unified Dip Theory to finish his script. He’s spoofing the goal of Einstein’s last two decades, and of modern physicists since: the Unified Field Theory. This theory unifies the four fundamental forces: electromagnetism, gravity, strong force and weak force. The problem is complex owing chiefly to the difficulty of quantizing gravity, which prevents a common theory that explains both general relativity and quantum mechanics. Whoever solves it will certainly collect a Nobel Prize.
Alton likens removing an avocado pit from his knife to removing a sword from a stone. In legend, King Arthur proved his lineage by removing a sword embedded in a stone, when no one else could do so. Note that in most versions of the legend, the sword in the stone is not the legendary and perhaps magical sword Excalibur.
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