Dip Madness - Recap

Chef Paul, host of Food TV’s popular “Great Eats” show, visits the “Beard Home for the Culinarily Confused.” He is here to visit his friend “AB” whom he has not seen in over three years. AB is obsessed with working on his script about dips. The final part of the script is the “Unified Dip Theory.” With it, AB can complete his script and make his triumphant return.

“Inside” AB’s script, Alton opens by explaining the “three foot rule.” The rule states that to qualify as a dip, a substance must maintain contact with its transport mechanism (in this case a chip) over three feet of white carpet. Salsa is too thin, but a mixture of sour cream and onions passes the test. That suggests a basic rule of dips: they must be creamy. Experimentation yields the best base for a dip: two parts sour cream to one part mayonnaise. The emulsifying power of the eggs in mayonnaise holds the dip together. Caramelized onions bring complex flavors and colors to the dip. Salt, white pepper, and garlic powder add flavor.

Back at the Beard Home, Chef Paul reminds AB that garlic powder never delivers. AB gets a little worked up explaining why: garlic powder must rehydrate to develop flavor. It doesn’t work well in acid foods like tomato sauce because the acid blocks the flavor. AB knows that a special kind of garlic powder called “high bulk index” garlic powder is the answer. This powder is processed to create particles with more surface area. These particles rehydrate faster and express flavor more completely. AB also cautions Chef Paul that garlic powder is not salty. Many grocers confuse garlic powder with garlic salt, which is salty. AB recommends avoiding confusion by buyin from a reputable spice vendor.

Back “inside” AB’s script, Alton continues: all kinds of dips are possible as long as they follow a simple formula: a creamy base, one or two main ingredients, and no more than three supporting spices. Alton demonstrates by deconstructing an artichoke dip – the three spices are garlic, red pepper flakes, and parmesan cheese (yes, here, the cheese is considered a spice). The main players are the artichoke hearts and some spinach, and the base is a mixture of mayonnaise, warmed cream cheese, and sour cream. A crock pot keeps the dip warm for serving; Alton disdains chafing dishes as unitaskers.

The script continues with the avocado. Alton appears as a carnival barker to extol the weirdness of the avocado (once known as the alligator pear). It’s a fruit, despite being more than 20% fat. It doesn’t ripen until it is picked and left in an oxygen environment (in a plastic bag they rot). A paper bag concentrates the ethylene emitted by the fruit and speeds ripening.

Back in the kitchen, Alton shares the technique he has devised for cutting the avocado. He moves the fruit, not the knife, making a cut all the way to the pit and completely around from stem back to stem. Then he twists off half the fruit. A quick chop embeds the knife in the pit, and a twist of the knife frees the pit. Now the knife is embedded in the pit, so how does one remove it? Alton enlists a couple of peasants to expose the hazards of carelessness when removing the pit (might want to slap a leech on that), but Alton’s got a tip for that, too. Using his technique will produce fruit that’s ready to use without any detours to the emergency room.

Alton uses a spoon to dig the meat from the rind. This releases polyphenol oxidase – an enzyme that turns green and yellow pigments brown. Apples, bananas and even humans turn brown for the same reason. Acids can block this action (especially ascorbic and citric acids). Ascorbic acid, better known as vitamin C, doesn’t taste very good but citric acid does. Limes have a lot of citric acid and contribute good flavor. Alton tosses the avocado meat in a bowl with the juice of a lime to keep it nicely green.

Avocado dips must have the right texture. Pureeing would make them too smooth, so Alton recommends a potato masher. First he pours off and saves the excess lime juice (enough to prevent browning will cling to the fruit). Then he adds seasonings and spices – salt, cumin and cayenne pepper – and mashes all that together. One could mix different types of avocado for varied texture: Hass are better for mashing, while fuerte are better for chopping because they keep their texture. Once he has the texture right, Alton adds the allied flavors: onion, tomato, garlic, jalapeno pepper (remove the seeds or it will be too hot), and just a little of the saved lime juice.

At the Beard Home, AB continues to teach Chef Paul about avocado dip. The flavors must meld and mellow at room temperature – the refrigerator would mute this interaction and make adjusting the flavor difficult. AB suggests tightly covering the dip with plastic wrap to keep it from browning – push the wrap down onto the food. While they’re on the subject of cold, AB hints that his institutional bathrobe isn’t very warm. Taking the hint, Chef Paul offers AB his coat and hat.

Chef Paul next asks about pureed dips. AB replies that pureeing is the right choice for a lot of dips – North African, Middle Eastern, Italian and especially French. The French invented the mousse – the term comes from words meaning foam or froth – a very smooth dip. In the script, Alton builds a mousse from a base of chicken livers. Fresh livers are best but one can reserve and freeze the livers from chickens used in other meals. Thaw them overnight in milk when they’re needed. Milk keeps them hydrated and draws out some impurities.

The mousse starts with melted butter in a saucepan. Into that Alton puts onions, a tart apple, herbs and salt, cooking until golden. Then he gently stir in the livers (they’re fragile). Alton offers several tips for telling when the livers are properly cooked. When they are he adds brandy and simmers briefly.

In a kind of montage, Alton purees these cooked ingredients with pulses of the food processor. Then he beats a cup of heavy cream to soft peaks and gently folds the cream into the pureed ingredients – half the cream at a time. A light touch here yields a light and fluffy mousse.

Back at the Beard Home, AB’s lecture has got him to wondering. He wonders if his long quest for a unified dip theory is a worthwhile goal. Maybe it’s enough to be glad that dips exist, to be… about then in his musings AB notices that Chef Paul has stopped to sign an autograph. Realizing he’s got Paul’s coat, hat and ID, AB makes his escape, leaving Chef Paul to try and explain who he is to the attendants at the Beard Home…

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