Crustacean Nation III: Feeling Crabby - Recap

Alton starts in the Food Gallery - that darkened hall of culinary horror he’s visited a time or two in the past. Past the oysters and the Roquefort cheese to… what the? The crab is gone from its tank! Alton summons the crab wrangler to recover the beast. While the man looks, Alton muses on whether he really needs a live crab. He concludes that live or frozen, crabs are…Good Eats.

Crabs have scuttled across the ocean floor for nearly 200 million years. In that time they have diversified into over 400 distinct species. Generally, the sort of crab you’ll eat depends on where you live. In the northeast, sand crabs are common. Elsewhere on the east coast blue crabs are plentiful. Floridians enjoy stone crabs. On the west coast the Dungeness crab decorates plates. And Alaskans savor the snow crab and the monstrous king crab – all six feet of it. Of course, varieties of crab are shipped elsewhere in the country, but away from where they’re naturally found, they’ll only be sold frozen. In most cases, they’re frozen right on the boat that catches them. This is often true even of crab found in the fresh seafood case. A bright red shell always means the shellfish has been cooked. These “fresh” crabs are good for consumption the day they’re purchased. Otherwise, buy frozen crab and thaw it yourself. Alton selects king crab legs for his first recipe.

Thawing crab requires special equipment – but equipment easily fashioned at home. Alton’s device is two nested containers separated by foiled rolled into a snakelike spacer. The upper container has drain holes. The crab thaws in there and the assembly goes in the refrigerator overnight. The holes allow the water to drain away from the meat into the bottom container, keeping the meat from becoming waterlogged as it thaws.

The crab has already been cooked. Crab legs have short muscle fibers and very little fat; cooking them again would toughen and dry them. Alton’s approach to warming the crab is really reheating, not cooking. Alton discusses and dismisses several ways of reheating. Boiling is out; water is a solvent and will wash the flavor away. Baking takes too long; the meat would be Sahara dry before it was heated through. Broiling and grilling would work but risk burning the shell and ruining the flavor of the meat. That leaves steaming.

But the legs Alton plans to cook won’t fit in his steamer pot, so he turns to the microwave. Alton pauses to briefly explain how a microwave works – energy generated by a magnetron is directed against a fan that scatters it through the cooking chamber. There, the waves agitate asymmetrical molecules like water and fat. As the molecules vibrate they shed that energy as heat. Because a microwave can’t really heat water past the boiling point, it can’t brown foods. But it steams food nicely – just what Alton needs.

Alton cuts his crab legs in half to make handling easier. Then he wraps them and some fresh dill in moist paper towels and wraps that package with plastic. That goes in the microwave on high for a couple minutes. To keep cooking times short, Alton recommends no more than three legs at a time; keep the cooked legs wrapped and they will stay warm.

Rather than a heavy or fancy sauce that overwhelms the crab, Alton goes with ghee – a kind of clarified butter. It starts with a pound of butter. A few minutes and several temperature changes later, Alton filters the burned milk solids out. What’s left is ghee. Dip the legs and enjoy.

Alton’s prepares a Dungeness crab next. This west coast favorite (it’s available most of the year) is usually frozen as soon as the boat reaches the dock. Avoid crabs with punctured or cracked shells and select ones that feel heavy for their size. Lighter animals are recent molts and do not have as much meat. Lift the crab. If the legs dangle it usually means the animal was dead when it was cooked – avoid it. Many markets will crack and clean the crab for you, but these basics are important if you wish to keep the shell for presentation or to make crab stock.

Back in the kitchen, Alton gathers tools – lots of tools – as he prepares to play “crustacean Quincy.” A flat head screwdriver, tweezers, and a little hooked gizmo like a dental probe. Oh, yes, and a big mallet.

Alton flips the crab and pries up the apron, discarding it. That lets him prize off the back of the crab’s carapace. Nothing in there looks like good eats, but patience pays off. Alton rinses everything and then removes the gills. The legs come off next with quick twists. Then he breaks the body in half, revealing “cells” full of meat. The little hooked tool comes in handy for digging this out; it’s the best meat in the crab. Then it’s back to the legs. The mallet cracks them and Alton demonstrates how to remove the meat and what to ignore.

Some chopped pickles, mayonnaise and the crab would make fine sandwiches, but Alton chooses a different recipe. Olive oil, vinegar, garlic, parsley, tarragon, kosher salt and pepper go into a plastic bag. Alton uses a stick blender to mix this and then adds the meat from two Dungeness crabs. He squeezes the air from the bag and refrigerates this salad for as long as eight hours. It works well on a bed of greens with lemon slices on the side.

It’s over to the east coast where the blue crab lives. Sadly, the blue crab is only about fifteen percent meat by weight. That means a lot of picking to get a meal. That’s why Alton leaves the picking to the pros, and buys freshly cooked and picked crab - pasteurized for added shelf life. There are no real regulations, so you have to look at what you’re buying. Generally, lump is the largest pieces. Then come backfin and flake (the tiny pieces left). But every vendor has his own terms. Alton avoids claw meat, or “crab jerky” as far too tough and chewy. Finally, there’s Krab – with a “K.” This is actually sashimi that has been flavored and processed to look and taste like crab, sort of. It’s suitable for recipes that have a lot of other ingredients, but not for recipes where crab is the centerpiece.

Most folks think of crab cakes, but Alton believes these often overpower the flavor of crab with that of fillers. He prefers crab fritters quickly deep fried (it’s still really a reheating process). Alton mixes lump and backfin meat with mayonnaise, a little lemon juice and some black pepper. A number 24 ice cream portioner (about an ounce of mixture) makes a good sized ball. That gets rolled in panko (Japanese) bread crumbs and fried for five to seven minutes.

Back at the Food Gallery, Alton’s crab wrangler still hasn’t found the live crab. That’s okay, because Alton has demonstrated that crab need not be alive and kicking to be good eats. Then the wrangler finds the escapee. It has the video cable caught in its pincers. But it wouldn’t dare cut the cable before Alton has a chance to say…

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